Possible TW - do you see yourself choosing Assisted dying?

[Threefullskips]

I hope this isn't too dark, but I've been thinking a lot about the legal and moral discussions in changing the legislation around assisted dying. And however we feel about it, it will be happening. In the context of NHS strain (and failure) , 'the market' taking care of the needs of elderly and infirm now more than families, properly prices, war on the horizon, increasing economic precarity - in a decade or so, we will all know people who have chosen to die by assisted dying. Is it something you have thought about? I hate to admit it, but I suspect it will be how I choose to go. And it feels like a defeat somehow. I'm perfectly healthy right now! Just looking into possible futures. This is a huge cultural change that will define our century imo. Sorry if this is too dark but I have tried to warn in title, I feel it surely merits a bit of discussion. Not sure what the AIBU is - AIBU to think more than 50% of the population will die this way in 50 years maybe?

Hands down yes.

I've seen too many horrible, painful, protracted deaths. Very difficult to give an estimated month of death and hospices are great - but not the silver bullet.

Not banking on Switzerland either as my loved ones are at risk of assisting a suicide on their return and I don't want to be alone.

My father died of this too.

I have actually blanked that year out (diagnosed in the new year, died on Christmas Day).

But I remember his total loss of dignity, paralysis, hallucinations, paranoia and telling 11 year old me we where in Wonderland and if I walked across the grass (in the bedroom) I could see it.

I was blankly terrified of him.

Can people stop with the pets having painless deaths. Sometimes it is sometimes it is like it was for my dog. It was like something from a horror film and I'll never have another pet.because it was such a traumatic experience for me and so awful for her

It's heartbreaking. My Dsis works on a dementia ward, she's perfect for the job, the joy of seeing an elderly woman holding her baby for the first time again. baby doll or chatting about her own DM.

There is heartbreak too, men find the confusion really difficult, they often cry, dsis is great at settling the residents, reassuring them.

I have LPoA for elderly relative. I've found medical professionals very supportive of my decisions e.g. saying no to paramedics taking her to hospital when she had chest infections. This has been more than one occasion and her GP and out of hours doctor have all been very understanding.

The replies on this thread would indicate that you are incorrect.

I've talked to my GP about this and he gave me a form with some ideas which would start a conversation between us to finalise my wishes. Trouble is, apart from the DNAR which I am adamant about unless they've managed to get to me within 5 minutes, I really don't know how to put my feelings into words. What did you do to help you come to the actual wording of your advanced decision?

Me too, an unattended cremation, as has DP who is terminally ill with lung cancer (only close friends and my DC know because he doesn't want his family to know). He has COPD as well so, at this stage, he is just a bit more breathless than usual and has lost some weight.

I have quite a few things wrong with me and was very depressed about this at the weekend as it was starting to get on top of me. I need help with things now, but am still able to have a little bit of independence. I think I would choose assisted dying if the option became available. I certainly don't want to end up in severe pain or in a care home suffering from dementia.

I don't think 50% of the population will die via assisted dying because not everyone will chose it, and of those who do want it, not everyone will be eligible under the proposed rules (eg being terminally ill, having less than 6 months to live, having capacity). I would consider it for myself for certain conditions and would like to have that choice. I've seen good deaths and bad.

Yes absolutely

I've had an Advance Directive in place for years now saying that if I cannot consent to treatment then it can't happen. Whilst this should protect me to a certain level it is far from perfect.

And yes - if assisted dying does not become law then I have sufficient knowledge to do it myself but that would be so much harder on the family member who finds me. They could not be present for their own legal safety.

I think it’s absolutely right that it should be allowed. We wouldn’t let an animal suffer so why would we let a human?

With that being said, I don’t know if I could go through with it myself. It’s hard to be able to say one way or the other because I’m not in a position where I would even need to make such a decision (not terminally ill). Maybe I would feel like it’s the right choice for me if I were unwell though.

I know someone who is slowly dying from a degenerative neurological disorder. They’re not very old, we’re very active before, and the whole thing has just been tragic for their loved ones and, of course, themselves.

Today I’ve been to a funeral of an elderly friend who died suddenly and unexpectedly. She wasn’t unwell and the person who found her said she looked like she was peaceful and like she’d died in her sleep. When I got back from the funeral I was talking to my MIL about whether knowing you’re dying and suffering till the end is better than the kind of situation that my friend was in (she retired last year, had a full and happy life with people who loved her) might be better. Her death was untimely and it’s so sad that she could have had many happy years ahead of her. It made me reflect on the fact that I absolutely believe that a person should be able to die if they choose to before they have to suffer a long, drawn out and undignified end.

It absolutely does need to be heavily regulated though because I do see the slippery slope argument too.

I will never forget sitting by my mother’s bed in hospital, as she fought the inevitable death that awaited her. The sounds this frail little lady made were animalistic, like nothing I had ever heard before. Me holding her hand and waiting for the final breath. Begging the nurses and doctors to give her something to ease her pain and suffering, it was horrendous for her and heartbreaking for me. I would do anything to prevent my children going through what I went through. It haunts me to this day.

Yes definitely. I hope it gets expanded to cover dementia.

I had no idea until I watched my relatives die how long death can take and how awful it is. I always thought you could only live 2 days without water but that isn't the case when you're dying, it can take over a week. And that's without considering the months of suffering leading up to the active dying stage.

There's a massive difference between early dementia where people can still have quality of life and end stage dementia if something else doesn't take them first. My nan lost her ability to do almost everything, including swallowing. Seeing her die was slow and horrendous and all I wanted was to end it for her.

I want to be able to refuse treatment in advance if I end up in the later stages of dementia. If I get an infection I'd rather refuse antibiotics and die from that than go through what my nan went through in the end.

I think we do too much to keep people alive without considering the bigger picture and looking at their quality of life.

I feel even more strongly about this since finding out how bad the state of social care is in this country. It has opened my eyes to how this could be abused, however.

I don't think anyone should have to choose death because the alternative is living a life of fear because you're on you're own, but unfortunately that is the choice I would make. I can see how we could get to a point where it's too expensive to keep people alive in state funded care if death is an option.

Better start saving for Dignitas then 🌸. If I wasn't such a wuss I guess I could just jump in the ocean but I kind of like the idea of going peacefully just like we let our animals in suffering go..

@sugarandcyanide That's what happened to my mum; she had early dementia (under 60) first misdiagnosed as depression and was in a care home when she got an infection. I was not in the same country and they didn't treat it and she passed. It's horrible but she had been ill for 2 years and she wasn't really with us anymore and was physically declining as well. She could have lived another 8 years but that would not have been a life. She died due to negligence though so nothing to do with someone feeling sorry for her future suffering. Still feel guilty I wasn't there with her even though she hardly knew who I was anymore.

This is my advanced decision to refuse treatment.
what did you do to help you come the actual wording 25 years in the NHS, seeing many questionable decisions and some outright barbaric ones. I intend to review the time frames stated in the directive as i age, but in my 40s 12 months is long enough to balance the chance for meaningful recovery against a life that i do not want for myself.

I......declare that my medical treatment wishes are as follows:
Life Threatening Condition:
If I have a physical illness from which there is no likelihood of recovery AND it is so serious that my life is nearing its end I do not wish to be kept alive by medical treatment. I wish medical treatment to be limited to keeping me comfortable and free from pain, and I refuse all other medical treatment, including antibiotic treatment, clinically assisted nutrition and hydration, mechanical or artificial ventilation, and Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. If at this time I have an Internal Cardiovertor Defibrillator I wish it to be disabled.
Permanent Mental Impairment:
If my mental functions become permanently impaired with no likelihood of improvement, or is impaired for a period in excess of 12 months, and the impairment is so severe that I no longer have the capacity for medical decision making under the mental capacity act 2005 and my physical condition means that medical treatment would be needed to keep me alive, I do not wish to be kept alive by medical treatment. I wish medical treatment to be limited to keeping me comfortable and free from pain and, I refuse all other medical treatment, including antibiotic treatment, clinically assisted nutrition and hydration, mechanical or artificial ventilation, and Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. If at this time I have an Internal Cardiovertor Defibrillator I wish it to be disabled.
Persistent Unconsciousness:
If I become persistently unconscious with no likelihood of regaining consciousness, or I am persistently unconscious for a period in excess of 12 months. I do not wish to be kept alive by medical treatment. I wish medical treatment to be limited to keeping me comfortable and free from pain, and I refuse all other medical treatment, including antibiotic treatment, clinically assisted nutrition and hydration, mechanical or artificial ventilation, and Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. If at this time I have an Internal Cardiovertor Defibrillator I wish it to be disabled.
Pregnancy
If I am pregnant I wish to receive medical treatments or procedures leading to the safe delivery of my child. Once my child is delivered I wish to reinstate my wishes as set out in this document.
Euthanasia
If I have a neuromuscular condition, including but not restricted to, Motor Neurone Disease, Entrapment syndrome, Tetraplegia, which leaves me unable to carry out my own wishes to end my life, I would like to be eligible for euthanasia within the constraints of the legal system in the country I reside in at the time. I would also like to use this advanced directive to clearly state that these are my wishes, and should I make use of a euthanasia facility in a foreign country that this was my decision and mine alone.

I would absolutely do euthanasia if facing a terminal diagnosis

Sorry about your mum, I suppose there's no easy option for families as either way it isn't nice to go through. It happened to my nan too. They told us she was very poorly and they didn't think she would pull through but they treated her with IV antibiotics and she did.

Her actual death years later was far worse, but at the time we didn't have the benefit of hindsight and we just let the doctors do what they thought was best.

We say now if we'd have known how bad her dementia was going to get we wouldn't have wanted the treatment, but at the time we probably would still have wanted them to save her because we didn't want to lose her.

Either way she wasn't able to make the decision herself and we didn't have POA so the outcome would have been the same.

I've had a lot of health problems over the past decade: about 3 concussions, post concussion syndrome, then was injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety after the first concussion... I now have a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia 💔😞

I'm not loving my body or my health 😕 Perimenopause is also making me feel like growing older isn't something that will be fun.

I have a lot to be incredibly grateful for, including three wonderful children, but it gave me a taste of dementia when I had my concussion and I think assisted dying would be preferable.