To think this is all not normal

[LeopardPrintIsNeutral]

Calling your five year old a bitch
telling aforementioned five year old to fuck off or shut the fuck up?
im being made to feel irrational for saying this is not alright?????!!

help

It is not normal nor is it appropriate. Who is trying to say this is ok and normal??

No way anyone should use those words to a child

No it’s not alright, who was it because whoever it was I would not be having any more contact with them

poor child

I would struggle to find any decent person who finds rhis is any way excusable or acceptable

You shouldn't talk to anyone that way - but to say that to a child is revolting and reprehensible.

He does it then gives her the silent treatment and she loves him so much she’d be so upset to have reduced contact

It’s such a mess

It's not love, it's fear. She is placating him to try and stop his cruelty. Please remove her from him.

Don’t do that. If this is your child, don’t do that. Don’t throw any responsibility back at her. Get her away from him.

You know this is totally wrong OP.
You are the adult. You have to do what is best for your child.
You need to protect her from this man.

Have you ever been gaslit to the point where you think something is normal and you’re stupid and cannot see the wood for the trees. This is one of those I’m slowly learning clarity

As a pp has said, that's not love, it's fear. Poor little thing, he will screw her up SO much if you don't get her away from this prick immediately.

Of course it's not normal.
Bit it is very damaging and .makes you wonder what else is going on

Jesus wept. Horrrific. Abusive. Unacceptable. Grab the child and run.

Yabu for having to ask!

We’ve just had a conversation where I have said it must stop. He said the problem would be if we didn’t lose our temper. It would be worse to bottle it up - I don’t know what to think 💭

Stop being so thick and helpless and take your daughter out of this situation. He might be the one saying these things, by not doing anything you're enabling abuse.

Well, if it is fine he won't mind you mentioning it to her teacher. Speak to someone at school tomorrow about this. Help is available now and they can refer you to Early Help. Perhaps a parenting course will help him to understand the damage he is doing.

Yes, this

Please remove the child from this situation before someone else intervenes. Can you ring the national domestic abuse helpline?

A person who calls a 5 year old a bitch or tells her to fuck off or shut the fuck up, shouldn't have care of a child. That person is a nasty, aggressive individual, who is a safeguarding risk. No decent human being would speak to a child, regardless of their age like this. If this person is your partner, regardless if he's the child's Dad or not, you need to get her away from this utter piece of shit. It's not normal on any level.

I think this is the answer. I’m under perinatal mental health too who also might be able to help me

Of course it’s not okay! It is emotionally abusive and needs to be reported.

By the time she's my age she might well have changed her mind. Ask me how I know.

He sounds dangerous op. He has to swear and shout at a 5 year old because otherwise he'll bottle it up and.... the insinuation is he'd physically hurt her or you.