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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Long baths for 8 month old

51 replies

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 21:11

My husband get our child ready in the mornings, most day she has a bath for 30 min with our son. He loves it and so does the little one, they play with boats and have a great time. I’m worried about his skin drying out but he won’t listen to me, instead he says I’m being irrational as he has been doing this for months and the child’s skin in fine (though he did have slightly dry skin on his cheeks for a few weeks but that cleared up). He doesn’t wash him with soap every day, it’s more a playtime, but I just wonder if I’m being unreasonable. NHS says baths should be 5-15 min, interested to know what other do?

OP posts:
McSpoot · 09/11/2025 21:12

How many threads are you going to start about how awful your husband is with your son?

Bearbookagainandagain · 09/11/2025 21:17

I mean, if your kid doesn't have any skin problem then surely you know you are being irrational right?

JLou08 · 09/11/2025 21:19

My DC has eczema. He loves a long bath and as long as it has the right products in it there are no problems with his skin.

Chattycatty32 · 09/11/2025 21:26

I had no idea about the NHS guidance on times. I had my 8 month in the bath around 45 mins to an hour because he loved it so much and I never noticed his skin ever being dry

ScrambledEggs12 · 09/11/2025 21:28

Your husband sorts out the bath and you get 30 minutes of peace? I don't understand what the issue is at all!

LilyGeorge · 09/11/2025 21:29

Your DH spends 30 minutes quality time with both children every single morning - that sounds lovely.

My D.C. had 30 minute baths every evening, never had an issue with dry skin.

As your child also doesn’t have skin issues I’m not sure what the problem is.

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 21:48

I’m just so annoyed with him for not following the guidance that is on so many websites. He won’t listen to me and when I show him the advice he gets frustrated

OP posts:
Lottie6712 · 09/11/2025 21:53

I understand his frustration from him as well if there's actually no problem with the baths? There's so much information out there on the internet and it's ok not to slavishly follow everything you read! The NHS also says that children should eat 3 meals and 2 snacks... My sporty and very lean 4 year old probably had 3-4 meals and 2-3 snacks a day... my point is it's ok to read guidance and do something differently if something else works better for your child!

Hundies100 · 09/11/2025 21:54

Sorry, not seeing the issue at all.

FuzzyWolf · 09/11/2025 21:56

YABU.

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 21:56

The issue is that he doesn’t listen to me when I ask him not to do something. Another example is I ask him not to wipe our child’s hands with a dish cloth because it’s the same cloth we do the washing up with and was chopping boards but he just ignores me sometimes and it’s upsetting me.

OP posts:
Hundies100 · 09/11/2025 21:58

Ok. I think you might be getting wound up about things that maybe aren’t important.

onwards2025 · 09/11/2025 21:58

Do you ask or tell him? There's a difference and that may be your issue here.

Also pick your battles, bath is such a non issue

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 22:01

I suppose I’m telling him, I just don’t understand why he would do things that he knows upset me. Makes me feel like he is just trying to wind me up.

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 09/11/2025 22:02

Concentrate on the important stuff.

Edenmum2 · 09/11/2025 22:04

We don’t have a timer on our bath, sometimes it’s 2 mins, sometimes 45. If it’s not affecting your child negatively then I don't know why you’d even consider it a problem. Let your partner parent.

Edenmum2 · 09/11/2025 22:08

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 21:48

I’m just so annoyed with him for not following the guidance that is on so many websites. He won’t listen to me and when I show him the advice he gets frustrated

Because guidelines around baths are not exactly the most important are they?

what’s more important - a father parenting his children and bonding with them whilst they have a great time and start the day happy….or vague guidelines about something pretty inconsequential???

do you look at guidelines for everything you do? it had honestly never occurred to me to check what the government says about how long I bathe my child for. To me that’s insanity.

McSpoot · 09/11/2025 22:08

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 22:01

I suppose I’m telling him, I just don’t understand why he would do things that he knows upset me. Makes me feel like he is just trying to wind me up.

As you’ve been told on at least two previous threads - he can easily flip that around. “I just don’t understand why she would insist that we always have to do things her way when my way is also fine and she knows it upsets me. Makes me feel like she is just trying to wind me up.”

CauliflowerCheese00 · 09/11/2025 22:10

Your child is not your property.
His father is spending quality time with him, doing something your son enjoys, and which has caused him no harm to date. Things that hundreds of thousands of parents around the country do every day with no ill effect. You need to relax.

PinkJ · 09/11/2025 22:11

Get a grip, your life pretty decent if this is what you have to worry about! 🤨

Edenmum2 · 09/11/2025 22:11

Do believe your partner has equal rights to you in terms of parenting your children?

CauliflowerCheese00 · 09/11/2025 22:12

VividPanda · 09/11/2025 22:01

I suppose I’m telling him, I just don’t understand why he would do things that he knows upset me. Makes me feel like he is just trying to wind me up.

Why do you think you are in charge of how your partner parents his child?

QuickPeachPoet · 09/11/2025 22:12

You are very lucky to have a partner who is so hands on with your child. Yes, that is how it should be but so often it's not.
Butt out.

Lottie6712 · 09/11/2025 22:13

It definitely sounds like you need to pick your battles and accept your partner is going to do things differently (sometimes better!) than you. The dishcloth thing I'd find grim and would pick up on, but I can't even imagine finding a problem with a 45 min bath unless it was causing me or the children a problem? Which it sounds like it isn't?

WiseSheep · 09/11/2025 22:27

You've either fallen into the trap I did when I had my first and not understood that 'guidelines' aren't rules, they're a base point that you need to work from to make life safe and manageable.
Or you've had enough of DH and are looking for other people to bash him too.
You may need to make more changes than he does here.