To be conflicted about Remembrance Services?

[PaddlingSwan]

I have friends and family on both sides.

Exactly. Our town has huge diversions for a 10k race recently.

Don't ever move to Lewes.

They close the whole town for the entire evening from about 5pm every bonfire night. The trains stop running in the early afternoon, too.

I have my own mode of respect. But thanks for the tip.

You are trying to pick a fight and it is frankly a bit pathetic. Grow up, and show a little empathy.
Our government sends soldiers out to fight in our name, rightly or wrongly. I choose to join with others at a special time and remember those who did not come back, but gave their lives for us. That is all. Now be on your way.

Actually, you’re being combative because you don’t like my beliefs. Ironic really.
I don’t feel that I need to do a 2 minute silence to be grateful once a year or wear a paper flower to appreciate the sacrifices made. Neither did my previous partner who saw active service in the military. If you do, cool, but telling me I’m pathetic and need grow up because you don’t like that my choice differs is very lazy bullying.

"I have my own mode of respect. But thanks for the tip."

I rest my case. Your freedom and respect and what you do with it is your business, people fought and died for freedom, and your silly sarcasm.

No wonder that WW2 veteran breakfast tv this week said he’d wish he hadn’t bothered

it’s a mark of respect for those who were prepared to make a sacrifice you either didn’t want to or couldn’t (in this day age mostly not wanting to I should think)

I'm aware of that. I don't need to have it explained to me, and don't feel the need to explain my background to others.

I'm also well aware that I have freedom to act as I choose, and know why I have that freedom. Why was this a factor you felt the need to explain?

You can generally rest assured that if you're alive to the history of what this symbolism represents, others will be, too. And this mode of attempting to shame anyone who doesn't show 'acceptable' gestures of conformity - by issuing a mild admonition in the tone that 'they know not what they do', merely because they're failing to mark a remembrance in the way you deem appropriate - is precisely what I referred to upthread.

The above post is a very eloquent illustratation of this.

What was his reason for saying that? Certainly veterans have spoken out before against performative poppy wearing or shaming people who are seen to be showing respect in a particular way. Or was he horrified at the increase in racism and poor treatment of those not seen to be “British” ebough?

It not all about loss, it's also about community, take a look at this article. Equally you would be able to attend our services, but also ones abroad.https://alisonlittle.blog/2025/11/07/rivers-of-poppies-at-christ-church-united-reformed-church-port-sunlight-a-stunning-tribute-of-remembrance/

This is an incredibly odd thread.

Taking part isn’t mandatory. Just don’t take part. No one will even notice.

@PaddlingSwan

theres been many conflicts since ww2, remembrance is about all those lost and those left behind.

as far as being torn because of German heritage, I’m not sure what your conflict is, I know several Germans and all respect Remembrance Day, it’s a time to respectfully remember those defeating tyranny and those who were killed because they were made to fight battles they didn’t believe in, most Germans fighting were conscripts or had no choice. As far as the nazis, no sympathy there op

Have you had a close family member fight in a war? How would you feel if you did?

And if anyone thinks it’s about a war that ended 80 years ago, watch the end of the festival of remembrance, a brother and sister perhaps 8 and 11 years old who have lost their dad in service, holding hands, it’s not about the past. Our forces are currently in the Red Sea ensuring shipping can get into the Suez Canal, they are in Jamaica helping hurricane hit communities (these I know about because know people involved)

Bothered what? He hardly got a choice in WW2 to bother did he, what with being thrown out as cannon fodder and all. It’s not the British public buying poppies the man should be angry with

I don’t know who you are and I don’t care an ounce about your beliefs. I object to you sneering at my remembrance of the victims of war.
To reiterate, you are just trying to pick a fight. It is immature and frankly pathetic, especially in the context of Remembrance Sunday.

We take our girlguiding unit every year,
It's about remembering the people who died and ensuring it never happens again. Every life matters.
We have to try and work through our differences so that there isn't another war.

Get a grip. It was you that replied to me. Having different methods of remembering to you is not picking a fight. You must find life a battle if you have to dish out insults every time someone disagrees with you.

It wasn’t a disagreement or a reasoned argument from you. You were just sneering. I guess that’s just your way. Now please do have the last word. This has run its course.

I remember all those who served. Not just in the world wars but who served and are still serving now. In dangerous conflicts.

I also remember my grandfather who got the Victoria Cross for actions in world war 1. He survived and served in world war 2 as well.

Some communities see serving personnel in uniform on a daily basis. Try Tesco in Tidworth or anywhere else around Salisbury Plain, particularly at lunch and after work.
Same in Catterick, Portsmouth, Plymouth and so on.
We’re aware of their training - I can hear the rattattat from Bulford ranges miles away, we all hear Larkhill firing big stuff, and are used to all kinds of military vehicles.
Yes, many parts of the country won’t see that - but when the bad boys threaten this country who’ll be ready to defend us? What will all you naysayers do? Tell the missile you don’t believe in war? Say no thanks, I don’t want to hassle? I’m afraid you’d have no choice, the same way that service personnel will not expect a choice, they’ll get on and defend us all in the best way they can.
There are many more covert activities that have been protecting all inhabitants of this country on an ongoing basis that remains very low profile. Never take a soldier for granted - he might save life as you know it.

Yes, I am partisan - my daughter served in the Navy (and is now a paramedic) my son in law was a Royal Marine (and is now in the police) my son an Army reservist (who recently completed two weeks of intense military training by taking holiday from his job) and I worked for the Army in a seniorish position for 25 years, many of it dealing with soldier deaths. All of us clearing up the nastiness to let you all get on with your charmed can’t be bothered life.

I think you’ve misunderstood me. I am absolutely behind those who serve in the armed forces. We don’t spend enough on our military and we don’t think enough about the quiet protection they provide to us, or about the good they do around the world including in disaster relief and the like.

A strong, topical example of my support for service personnel is that I could never vote for a government - like this one - that harasses ex-soldiers in the courts. It’s absolutely shocking.

My point was about the social place of the uniformed military in this country. Unlike some countries we don’t use the military for policing or control (NI used to be an exception of course) and we support our military in ceremony, not in shows of strength.

Believe me, you’d have to go a long way to find someone more supportive of the British forces than me.

I watched the BBC coverage of the parade yesterday, I'll be honest and say that it was starting to remind me a little bit of the televised DDR military parades, which fascinated me as a child. I'm all for remembering sacrifices, from all nations in all wars, but that doesn't mean I agree with what took place in those wars.

Exactly, I don’t disagree with the sentiment, I just don’t do ‘remembrance’ like you. Not only have you been combative at how I remember those who lost their lives, but you’ve thrown personal insults at me such as calling me pathetic. All because you don’t agree! You think you’re a better person because you’re quiet for 2 minutes on Remembrance Sunday. You’ve got no idea what I do all year round- you call me pathetic and say I lack empathy because you take part in Remembrance Sunday. Let that sink in.
And, you quoted me. Perhaps if you don’t want people to respond to you, don’t do that in the first place, or you’re going to keep getting yourself into a tizzy when people answer you.