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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is using community pantry for free food

840 replies

cookingaroast · 08/11/2025 20:12

There is a community pantry in our village, with the purpose being to cut food waste. I completely support cutting down on food waste, and the food provided is all from supermarkets who would otherwise throw the food out. My issue is more I'm a bit uncomfortable with us taking the food.
We are both in the tech industry and both fall into the higher tax bracket for our salaries, more than capable of paying for food ourselves.

I've said to DH I don't think we should be utilising this resource and leave the food for others who need it more than us but he loves the bargains (free food) he gets from it. He genuinely wants to show off the stuff he's picked up whenever he goes - which is usually once a week.

I guess I feel a bit uncomfortable that this free food could be a lifeline to people. I do like charity shopping and getting a bargain but I don't feel as bad, as I'm paying what they decide they feel it's worth and the money is going to charity. This is completely free and run by volunteers.

OP posts:
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flowerygirl · 09/11/2025 16:33

Does it have opening hours? I would be going 5 mins before it closes, therefore giving anyone in need first dibs.

Americasfavouritefightingfrenchman · 09/11/2025 16:33

So in a similar vein we left house to pop to Morrisons to grab a some stuff around 3:15 and I noticed in the car park that the too good to go app had a couple of bags left reduced to £3.29 each. I figured we would get them & see what was in. We’ve ended up with:

Nice (huge) chicken kiev
1.5kg salad & 2.5kg baking potatoes
4 large onions
1.45kg bag carrots
Large cauliflower
2 cucumbers
Iceberg lettuce
4 large oranges
6 kiwis
1 papaya
pack Thai basil
8 finger rolls
4 mini Halloween cupcakes
4 toffee yum yums
3 toffee apples

I’ll pass on some to neighbours but most of it we will use. I guess someone else might have bought them but given they list them the day before and they were still there by 3:30ish and shop was closing at 4 they probably were just getting chucked otherwise. I also saw they had about 4 whole salmon reduced to £13 each and did consider getting one but I wasn’t sure we’d use it. It’s crazy to me that someone might have left it in case someone with less money wanted it later as the likely outcome of that would also be it would be chucked.

m00rfarm · 09/11/2025 16:39

JudgeBread · 08/11/2025 20:18

Honestly as someone who genuinely has struggled for food and had to live on rice and ketchup for a while, you're under reacting.

Your husband is absolutely disgusting. He's quite literally taking food from people who need it. He's vile.

It is not a food bank.

ClareBlue · 09/11/2025 16:40

I think it's different it is exhausted of food by the end of the day, then maybe us that can afford to should step back and leave it to others. But if there is plenty for everyone and he's not depriving others, then I would say it's good he is using the food that will be wasted. Context is the main issue here

Office365Error · 09/11/2025 16:44

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 16:31

I beg your pardon? He’s a tightwad with no morals

Are you, and some others, arguing on this thread that people who are not in poverty should not take part in anti-food waste initiatives?

ChronicallyConfusedOnEarth · 09/11/2025 16:46

GreenFriedTomato · 09/11/2025 03:05

Curious as to how old you are? I've only ever seen 'gives me the ick' used by much younger people.
I'm in my 50's now and it's not a phrase I've heard in my age group.

Im really surprised by this, I’ve heard children use and the oldest person is an 87 year old woman who teases her 92 year old husband with it too.

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 16:55

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 16:20

Yes you’re right.

I don’t know if food banks have changed much in the past ten years - but as a former recipient you couldn’t really make anything with what you got in your food bank bag either, unless you had a well stocked pantry or were prepared to easy cereal, baked beans on their own and tinned hot dogs.

I believe food banks are meant to give enough for 3 days of meals but it will be often be fairly basic tinned foods because they can't have fresh.
That's why they frequently ask for tinned vegetables (and fruit) because people are obsessed with just donating tins of beans.

SheinIsShite · 09/11/2025 16:58

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 16:31

I beg your pardon? He’s a tightwad with no morals

No, I beg YOUR pardon. Take some time to actually read the thread and then come back.

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:02

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 16:55

I believe food banks are meant to give enough for 3 days of meals but it will be often be fairly basic tinned foods because they can't have fresh.
That's why they frequently ask for tinned vegetables (and fruit) because people are obsessed with just donating tins of beans.

I can attest to this, having been on the receiving end (but at least beans are nice - tinned veg is rank)

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 17:06

ChronicallyConfusedOnEarth · 09/11/2025 16:46

Im really surprised by this, I’ve heard children use and the oldest person is an 87 year old woman who teases her 92 year old husband with it too.

I've never heard it used outside of MN.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 17:09

flowerygirl · 09/11/2025 16:33

Does it have opening hours? I would be going 5 mins before it closes, therefore giving anyone in need first dibs.

Our local one doesn't. It really is trying to run as cheaply as possible as it's entirely run by volunteers. So, the volunteer drivers find out which supermarkets have food that needs collecting, collect it, take it back to the hub, sort it out and THEN post a message on the Hub's FB page. Only then can people go and collect food. People are not allowed to queue. I don't think they close when there is no food because it is never all claimed, so I think it's either when a certain amount has gone or the volunteers have to go.
They are thinking of starting to operate as an official charity in the new year.

BringBackCatsEyes · 09/11/2025 17:20

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 16:20

Yes you’re right.

I don’t know if food banks have changed much in the past ten years - but as a former recipient you couldn’t really make anything with what you got in your food bank bag either, unless you had a well stocked pantry or were prepared to easy cereal, baked beans on their own and tinned hot dogs.

I first volunteered at our local food bank 8 years ago and certainly the boxes then were carefully packed to be able to provide breakfast, lunch and dinner for however many people and days it was meant for.
I think it's the same now. Nothing grand, and always simple to prepare ie assumes client has access only to a hob.
If
This is Trussell trust.

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 17:21

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:02

I can attest to this, having been on the receiving end (but at least beans are nice - tinned veg is rank)

Tinned vegetables are better than no vegetables though.

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:28

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 17:21

Tinned vegetables are better than no vegetables though.

My point being that food banks may claim what they provide is nutritionally ‘sound’ - it’s actually far from it.

They do their best but no one should be having to live on what they offer for extended periods of time and especially in a so called developed country - but that’s a different topic.

Needmorelego · 09/11/2025 17:36

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:28

My point being that food banks may claim what they provide is nutritionally ‘sound’ - it’s actually far from it.

They do their best but no one should be having to live on what they offer for extended periods of time and especially in a so called developed country - but that’s a different topic.

I agree 🙂

Rewis · 09/11/2025 17:41

If it is to cut food waste and he doesn't empty it (picks up few items) and uses the items, I don't see the problem. If he goes and takes everything then that is a bit shit. If everyone was to wonder if they are too rich to take anything then it would likely go to waste.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 09/11/2025 17:44

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:28

My point being that food banks may claim what they provide is nutritionally ‘sound’ - it’s actually far from it.

They do their best but no one should be having to live on what they offer for extended periods of time and especially in a so called developed country - but that’s a different topic.

I agree, it is not pleasant to live on food bank food - although where I volunteer there is additional food which is more interesting/pleasant and over the summer, a lot of fresh vegetables as a few allotmenteers grow for us. I dont know when the lists were last updated, but they also seem to be very old fashioned -tinned fish and sponge puddings anyone?

However, the community cupboard has a terrible time giving away fresh vegetables. May be some people dont have the means to cook, but a lot of people say they dont know how to cook them. They put on some classes, but still struggle. So if you do go and get veg, you get tons of it.

Butchyrestingface · 09/11/2025 17:47

Catpiece · 09/11/2025 16:31

I beg your pardon? He’s a tightwad with no morals

You're a walking argument against jury trials.

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:48

Hotflushesandchilblains · 09/11/2025 17:44

I agree, it is not pleasant to live on food bank food - although where I volunteer there is additional food which is more interesting/pleasant and over the summer, a lot of fresh vegetables as a few allotmenteers grow for us. I dont know when the lists were last updated, but they also seem to be very old fashioned -tinned fish and sponge puddings anyone?

However, the community cupboard has a terrible time giving away fresh vegetables. May be some people dont have the means to cook, but a lot of people say they dont know how to cook them. They put on some classes, but still struggle. So if you do go and get veg, you get tons of it.

I think one of the issues isn’t just food poverty, but also fuel poverty (which I guess food banks try to anticipate and was certainly an issue for me - I’ll never forget the replied of the local council offering me £40 in January to put on my gas after going for weeks with no heating or hot water or gas job only to have it all being eaten immediately by ‘service charges’ so I still had to wash in cold water, couldn’t heat my house, and only had the oven or microwave)

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 09/11/2025 17:48

Butchyrestingface · 09/11/2025 17:47

You're a walking argument against jury trials.

😂

Roobarbtwo · 09/11/2025 17:48

cookingaroast · 08/11/2025 20:12

There is a community pantry in our village, with the purpose being to cut food waste. I completely support cutting down on food waste, and the food provided is all from supermarkets who would otherwise throw the food out. My issue is more I'm a bit uncomfortable with us taking the food.
We are both in the tech industry and both fall into the higher tax bracket for our salaries, more than capable of paying for food ourselves.

I've said to DH I don't think we should be utilising this resource and leave the food for others who need it more than us but he loves the bargains (free food) he gets from it. He genuinely wants to show off the stuff he's picked up whenever he goes - which is usually once a week.

I guess I feel a bit uncomfortable that this free food could be a lifeline to people. I do like charity shopping and getting a bargain but I don't feel as bad, as I'm paying what they decide they feel it's worth and the money is going to charity. This is completely free and run by volunteers.

Completely with you here. I use a community pantry. Started using it with I was on 400 pounds a month universal credit. They give free food and there's a pantry that folk can pay for so you pay 3 pounds and get 15 pounds worth of food

I would be less against your partner using this service if he was using one where he needed to give a donation.

If he wants bargains tell him to rock up to a supermarket and buy yellow stickers

Runnermumof2 · 09/11/2025 17:49

Is this like Food Waste Heros with Olio ? I do this. I am a volunteer and also receive 10% of the food 'waste' to keep. It's very different to a food bank. We collect food from supermarkets and places (I do Boots) at the end of day for food going off with that days date, but still perfectly good to eat. I then distribute what I collect and keep 10% of it for myself and any left over that isn't collected (which is often the case) I also keep to use. It's about being eco friendly and avoiding food going in the bin not cost.

HereWeGo1234 · 09/11/2025 17:49

I think it’s mean of him to do that and I think you are right to feel uncomfortable about it.
Does he make charitable donations anywhere? Does he donate to the food pantry he is taking from? i.e. a tin of biscuits, something for a raffle etc? If he does then it’s not so bad.

Roobarbtwo · 09/11/2025 17:50

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 15:24

No, Olio is supermarkets giving surplus food to others who distribute it (just like a food pantry). What’s available is unoredicrable (just like with a food waste pantry) If you were to pop to your local food pantry the morning after having a look on your local Olio network, you would find repeat items because it’s all come from local supermarket surpluses.

im not sure how you think that Olio is this nice predictable shopping experience similar to supermarkets.

But I do use the local food pantry too and the same rules apply for using what you find: well stocked non perishables pantry and google.

ive not once said you ‘plan in advance’ - the key is a well stocked non perishables pantry and access to google (for recipes). You plan once you know what you’ve got.

Edited

Individuals can also list food on Olio

Fiftyandme · 09/11/2025 17:52

Roobarbtwo · 09/11/2025 17:50

Individuals can also list food on Olio

I’m aware of that. It’s mainly ‘food champions’ collecting food from supermarkets.