WIBU to knock on this womans car?

[Wynndolynne]

Was nipping in M&S foodhall this evening and outside the shop there was a woman asleep in her car. I noticed her because she wasn't sat up, with her eyes closed, like when you just rest your eyes. She was slumped to the side. Not even with her head against the window but way down on the plastic part of the door. I showed DH and he sort of laughed and said she must be knackered.

Went in M&S, grabbed a few bits and waited for my C&C order, so we were in there a good 20 mins.

Came out and woman is still in exactly the same position so I go closer and see there are 2 kids in the back seat, both in carseats
One about 4 and the other about 2.

DH has walked ahead and is already out of reasonable shouting distance. I just knocked on her window and she jumped awake
I must have scared the shit out of her.

I felt pretty stupid and apologised to her and have felt quite embarrassed thinking about it since. She really looked passed out and inve I saw the kids all sorts went through my head.

We all need to look out for each other more. Nothing wrong with being concerned and checking on her.

I’d have been more worried than you , I’d have tried to initiate a conversation “ sorry to knock , just wanted to check you ok ? “
Then gauge her response ? Was she ill , drunk , on drugs , exhausted? It’s not normal to fall asleep in a car with young children
She could have had a cardiac or cerebral event .. or been off her face
Both things would need escalation to help her and the children . If she was just exhausted you’d like to hope she’d have said “ I’m ok , sorry , just knackered , I’ll get a red bull “

Ywnbu, she could have been in a really bad way and there’s no harm in making sure someone is ok.

She seemed fine, she said she was OK, did a thumbs up, she didn't look out of it or ill or anything. To be fair I didn't have a conversation and it was through the glass.
But yes, really weird to be asleep in a carpark at 5pm with 2 small kids in the back.

Absolutely not being unreasonable, well done for checking on her.
Many years ago a dad, waiting in his car to pick his daughter up from a school local to me, suffered a medical emergency and was sadly found dead in his seat. Tragedies can and do happen

I'm so sorry, thats awful.

Thats what made me knock really, I thought what if i read tomorrow that she had a medical emergency, I would be one of those people reading and wondering how no one noticed or helped

There was a woman like this in the school car park late one afternoon. A other mum was about to knock and I stopped her. I’ve been in the situation, you are knackered, your kids are in swimming so you want a quick nap to recharge before you have to face dinner and bedtime. I’d have been furious to be woken.

Sure, someone might have had a medical incident but the odds are far more likely they are just having a nap.

I'd have done the same. You did the right thing.

Absolutely right thing to do. A work colleague on his way out for lunch saw a man similarly 'asleep' in his car, was still there on his way back so knocked on the window and got no response. Colleague was able to open the door and realised man was in cardiac arrest. Luckily he was a trained first aider and able to give CPR until ambulance arrived. Saved the mans life.

You just never know what might be going on - better to check than not, especially with kids in the car. TBH I'd probably have tried to talk to her just to check she wasn't drunk or on something (but I apprecaiate that might not have occurred to you in the moment).

This happened to me in a car park when I was having a snooze. I was pleased someone cared enough to check.

Were the kids asleep? I don’t think you did anything wrong and neither did she. It may be they aren’t sleeping and she was so tired it became dangerous so she’s having a 20min Power nap while they are calm and secure and safe

No they were wide awake. But not crying or anything, just sat there.

Thank you for showing kindness
The problem people have nowadays is not getting involved or looking through other way. Nice to hear someone caring

I absolutely don't think she did anything wrong and my intention was definitely not to shame her!

I honestly thought she was unconscious, it was a really unnatural position for a nap!

I don't think you did anything wrong. I have kids of similar ages and have been so tired on one occasion that it wasn't safe for me to keep driving. I put a story on the kids' yoto player to keep them occupied and pulled into the nearest car park for a nap. If someone had woken me (especially after 20 minutes of good, deep sleep!) I'd have been worried they'd seen me drooling a little embarrassed, but would have appreciated them checking I was ok.

I've seen a woman asleep in a car with her child. I knocked on the window because I was worried she could be unwell. She said that she works nights and the child only naps in the car so she was getting some sleep whilst she could. I felt awful but I would have felt worse if I heard news of something happening to them and I hadn't checked.

She was probably just having a nap whilst kids did whilst waiting for someone. I probably would have left her to it

If she just looked asleep I wouldn't have bothered her. Say if she had rolled her coat up and had her head on it but she looked passed out. I'm sure she will have a sore neck tomorrow

I think my takeaway from this is that if I have a piece of paper and go for a nap I'll write it on the piece of paper and put it in the windscreen!

I think it's good people care enough to check.

I would assume functioning alcoholic. Because I know women who have done exactly what you described, OP. And their kids are used to it.

Done this once too..lady was asleep but could have been ill or dead. So glad I checked. You did the right thing

Was she in the driver's seat or passenger seat?

I'd have been really concerned if she was in the driver seat and definitely would have knocked had I seen children in the car.

I think I’d rather piss someone off by doing something than chance them being in trouble. Well done!

Drivers.

I have done exactly this when I found a woman parked up in a turning by the woods, and just as you describe, lying sideways over the console in a position I cannot imagine choosing (surely it would kill your back) I kind of hovered anxiously for a bit and I can't remember if I tapped on the window or she stirred naturally, but she just sat up looking perfectly fine, and smiled at me, so I gave her a thumbs up, and went on my way.

She didn't seem aggreived and I certainly don't regret checking she was OK.

Perhaps people planning to nap in cars should bring a nice pillow and a frilled sleep mask so we know they are just catching some much needed zzzzs 😄