Shouted at neighbours kid

[Onerva15]

We live on a small very quiet street and usually my kids 6 and 9 play out no bother with the other children. In the last couple of months one the older kids (10) has decided for whatever reason to pick on my two. It started with inappropriate language and escalated to them being chased on their bikes and my oldest being pushed off and hurting his arm. Today they were all happily playing and I was supervising. This kid comes up to my eldest for no reason and shoves him, my eldest doesn't like confrontation and he walked away. This kid followed him and hit him, my youngest who is only 6 but quite big stood between them and this kid kicked my 6yr old. It happened fast and at this point admittedly I lost it and properly shouted at this kid. A guy from across the road who I don't know and who doesn't have kids then started shouting at me for shouting at this kid. My OH who was in the house came out and took the neighbour's side. I'm absolutely raging.

I should have gone to speak to the parents earlier but I appreciate that kids also need to stick up for themselves and navigate issues so I haven't immediately stepped in (I'm not a helicopter mum) but have been more vigilant which is why I was supervising and saw everything this afternoon. It was so unprovoked I think that's what made me so angry. I definitely shouted at him but I wasn't anywhere near him when I shouted. I wonder what other people would have done? My OH says I should have calmly had a word!!

Your OH is a dickhead for siding with the neighbour. I'd have shouted at the little bullying turd too, someone should be.

If his adult wasn't there and he was behaving like this then I don't think you're being unreasonable.

But next time I'd be a hell of a lot nearer so I could hear what's going on too

I would have done the same thing as you, and have done similar in the past. I think it's good that the child knows his actions aren't going unnoticed. And this is a 10 year old, not a little toddler.

Me too, I’d have done exactly what you did. Little shitty kids like this are the worst and need telling!

Let the dust settle and move on.. It's probably no bad thing in the long run that you got angry, it'll make the kid think twice next time.

You'll get replies saying what people would have done in an ideal world but in reality we don't always have time to think things through.

It's a shame your husband didn't trust you to handle it though, or at least stay out of it if he's not going to back you.

Your partner is a dick. I'd have gone through the little fucker for a shortcut.

Really really poor form on your dh’s side for siding with the neighbour. He should’ve stood with you and told you in private that he disagreed with your actions.

I'd be so angry at your husband if I was you.
Shouting at a kid to stop physically assaulting my child when their adukt wasn't there to stop them- completely agree. 'Stop that right now' type of thing is fine. Then I would have walked to his house abd spoken to his adult immediately.
Then I would have gone home and shouted at my husband. 😄

You are 100% in the right here and your husband is a dick

What’s this ‘his adult’ thing? His parents? Can’t we say parent/s?!

I’d be furious with my Dh if he went straight to agreeing with random neighbour before checking what the had done to yours.

@Onerva15 you need to go and speak to the parent and ask to speak to their child in front of them. Point out to the child that he has physically assaulted a 9 year old and a 6 year old. I'd then tell him that at 10 years old he can be criminally charged so he needs to think carefully about his behaviour and be kind.

My instinct is to say your dh should have supported you. But it depends to what degree you shouted at the neighbours kid.
Also if you dont already you obviously need to be constantly supervising when your dc play out side.

Your husband is an absolute moron! I’d be raging in your shoes.

He’s more interested in saving face with some random neighbour than checking on you and your children.

Arsey kids do need a short shock occasionally and if that involves another adult shouting at them, so be it. I’ve done it when older kids have monopolised play equipment for toddlers and I’ve made them move on.

Oh the joys of parents thinking their kids can do no wrong. This happened to my eldest a younger children was flinging a necklace around nearly caught his eye. Shouted at then, parent don't shout at my child they did no wrong

I would and have done exactly the same, and it takes a lot me to get riled up enough to be confrontational. I’m very much a let the kids handle it between themselves first, but sometimes bullies need a shock and I think you did the right thing.

Balls to them all, you did what I would have done. The other kid needs to hear how to behave. Feel free to go and tell the parents what happened and that you needed to intervene. Well done.

if I was the other kids parent I would have thanked you, as next time another kid may not walk away and could in fact hit him harder.

I need more info. Why did your neighbour immediately put you in the wrong? What’s your husbands justification for not taking your side? Does he feel you went too far? Did you?

Because, for me, I don’t think you did anything wrong from what you’ve said. But I find it surprising that two other adults (who were there/in the vicinity) have taken a different view.

I'd have done the same. Bullying little fucker.

Were you swearing and out of control or just using a raised voice and regular words?

I would get some form of cctv at the front of your house. Then you can just report to police if the parents don’t care their kid is a bully.

you need to speak to the parents and let them know what happened.

It’s sort of depends on what you mean by ‘properly lost it’. Shouting, directly addressing the behaviour , standing up for your child, remaining at a reasonable distance- probably ok. Screaming, swearing, name calling, threatening, getting up too close to the child- possibly not.
Im tending to think that DH should have taken your side or at least said nothing.

Tell your perfect calm husband to go and have a reasonable calm word with the parents of this angel then. I’d be raging too.

Sign yours up to some jujitsu classes or similar. Their confidence will grow and they won’t be a target. I don’t know why but bullies just know who won’t fight back.

When you say you shouted at him, what do you mean?
Were you effing and jeffing? Were you ‘screaming’ at him?

If it was just an ‘oi! what the hell do you think you’re doing?’, then you were completely within your rights.
If it was stronger than that, then you may need to reflect a little.

Sometimes kids need shouting at! You don't have a calm chat with a 10 year old who's shoving and kicking. You shout at them and march them back home. I'd go and speak to the parents too OP.

I would have reacted exactly the same as you did.
I'd also have gone to the ten year olds house and told his mum so that she knows what he's up to and that you told him off - otherwise she won't know what he's doing and he can keep thinking he can do what he wants. Also you don't want the dickhead neighbour to report his version of events.

Your husband sounds like a face-saving twat. I'd have felt humiliated by his reaction so I'd be making damn sure that, that situation never occurred again by telling him to step as a parent in future and as a partner, and that his automatic response should always be to support you, not someone else! The knob head.

I've only shouted at other people's children once and it was a similar situation. I think it's a natural reaction to protect your child. Your OH was a dick.