Shouted at neighbours kid

[Onerva15]

We live on a small very quiet street and usually my kids 6 and 9 play out no bother with the other children. In the last couple of months one the older kids (10) has decided for whatever reason to pick on my two. It started with inappropriate language and escalated to them being chased on their bikes and my oldest being pushed off and hurting his arm. Today they were all happily playing and I was supervising. This kid comes up to my eldest for no reason and shoves him, my eldest doesn't like confrontation and he walked away. This kid followed him and hit him, my youngest who is only 6 but quite big stood between them and this kid kicked my 6yr old. It happened fast and at this point admittedly I lost it and properly shouted at this kid. A guy from across the road who I don't know and who doesn't have kids then started shouting at me for shouting at this kid. My OH who was in the house came out and took the neighbour's side. I'm absolutely raging.

I should have gone to speak to the parents earlier but I appreciate that kids also need to stick up for themselves and navigate issues so I haven't immediately stepped in (I'm not a helicopter mum) but have been more vigilant which is why I was supervising and saw everything this afternoon. It was so unprovoked I think that's what made me so angry. I definitely shouted at him but I wasn't anywhere near him when I shouted. I wonder what other people would have done? My OH says I should have calmly had a word!!

Your OH is a twat! I'd have done exactly what you did. That kid sounds like a nasty sod.

I think it depends what you mean by shouted. A loud and authoritative voice is completely appropriate in this situation, losing control and properly shouting/screaming at a child isn't ok ever really (though I do have sympathy, I'd be furious if someone did that to my children).

Have you spoken to the child's parents (both about their behaviour and your reaction)?

Omg your husband is a fuckwit !!! Where the hell is he coming from siding with your neighbour ? What you did was absolutely fine in my eyes and then I’d of marched to his parents and told them to their face what he’d done on more than one occasion and then told them what you’d done . These kids are nothing but bullies and need telling

Ten is old enough that he won't be traumatised by an adult shouting at him for pushing smaller kids. He probably gets the same from the duty teacher at school in the playground. I think it's good for your kids to know you have their back.

Your OH is a dick and probably just wants a quiet life. Are they his kids?

I would have done exactly the same. I would have then started on my OH to grow a back bone and defend and protect his kids!

Report them to the Police and Social Services
.
Get legal.advice. If you live in Social Housing
.Let you Landlord know.

@Onerva15 You have now learned that not only is that 10-yr-old kid a bully, your neighbor and your OH are twat waffles. You, OTOH, rock!

Yanbu. I'd have shouted at him too and I'd be finding his parents to tell them what he'd done so they could discipline him. How dare your neighbour and DH say you was being unreasonable. My husband shouted at kids for pissing about at end of our drive throwing our gravel at each other which caused some damage to our car (thankfully cosmetic) they ran off but they didn't do it again.

Your neighbours reaction and your DH is exactly why wee bastard kids like that are growing up to be big bastard adults. You did nothing wrong. Its high time we went back to when adults were allowed to discipline kids, when I was young my neighbours gave us into trouble the same as my parents, all the adults in the street did. Kept us in line. I'd definitely be speaking to wee bastards parents.

It's what amy parents would naturally do, all you did was shout and rightly so! Your OH should've backed you up. Xx

The kid sounds a brat and probably has too many people ineffectively “having a calm word” and not enough sharply telling him what’s what.

I’d be pretty cross if my DH in effect took the side of the bully hurting our children.

And this is why we have feral teenagers possibly with knifes so prevalent . No fear of consequences for for aggressive behaviour, no fear of authority because the likes of your neighbour and husband are concerned that they might be in trouble . The little shit knows he can get away with it . Imagine what he will be at 14 !

I would do exactly what you did OP .