To have asked for cash for Christmas?

[XmasWoes77]

I’m in my mid 20’s and don’t expect anything for Christmas, but my brother texted me last night to ask what I’d like as I do a lot of babysitting for them and they’d like to get me something. I was quite honest and said I was really grateful, but I’d rather cash this year as I’m going on a couple of trips next year and every little helps (for example, even if he gave me £10, that would be a day’s travel around the area I’m visiting sorted). I didn’t mention amounts but just said I’d really appreciate money as opposed to physical things.

he read the text last night and didn’t respond, then this morning he came back and said that he thinks it’s really tacky of me to have asked for cash and that I sound like I’m begging.

was I being unreasonable to have said this?

Brilliant 🤣

@Gall10 what a waste of your money though if you gift something "naff" that the gift receiver doesn't like or need.

What’s your view in families who use the services of their Dsis for regular childcare but never offer any sort of recognition for it ?

Luckily none of us have to read your book.

Another reason to drop presents between adults at Xmas.

that js really stingy if you babysit got him!!’ Babysitting is on average £20 an hour or more!! So you are saving him ££&&!!!

just say ok well from now on I’m charging for my babysitting as it’s an actual job and my starting rate is £20 per hour

How about something travel related , a new hold-all or some packing cubes , a water bottle etc - I think cash is impersonal but I’m difficult to buy for so parents usually give cash now and I set it aside for special meals out , trips etc.

Dear brother, since we’re being honest I think it’s tacky that you couldn’t put enough thought into coming up with a meaningful gift idea yourself.

imagine ASKING someone what they want and then calling them tacky when they say so!

Dear brother, since we’re being honest I think it’s tacky that you couldn’t put enough thought into coming up with a meaningful gift idea yourself.

imagine ASKING someone what they want and then calling them tacky when they say so!

We don’t tend to do presents between each other. They do this for me because I babysit

Sounds like a very judgey book.
What's trashy about asking for money towards a meal watching the sunset vs money spent on a Boots 342 gift set? It's just valuing an experience above a material item.
It's not like the OP demanded a wodge of cash unprompted. She was asked what she'd like as a (particularly misery considering it's saying a combined happy Christmas and thank you for all the free babysitting you do) gift. Her answer was the thing that would give her most enjoyment - a contribution towards a fabulous holiday.

He sounds very judgey. I think I'd start asking how much it is per hour for a babysitter. Why are you doing him favours if he won't compensate you properly? I bet he asks you lots!

How much babysitting do you do ? £25/30 would be an afternoons worth.

Honestly someone getting such a good deal shouldn't be making a fuss !

Weird that he reacted like that. Cash is insanely easy and you get the feel good factor of a photo later when your sister sends you a photo of what she spent that 20 quid on.

Asking for cash as an adult is tacky. If you want to travel you have to fund it yourself!

I don’t understand, he asked what you wanted and you told him!

You didn’t just randomly ask for money.

I would just charge for babysitting in future.

It would make more sense if he paid you for babysitting.

Does he see that as 'begging' as well?

It sounds rather like he wants free childcare and wants to give you a selection box for Christmas to alleviate his guilt at not paying you!

I really would just charge for the babysitting going forward.

Makes it much easier and puts it on a more regular footing, not him feeling like he’s dispensing largesse in some horribly patronising way!

In which case go back to him and say, forget the gift, just pay me for the babysitting:
Xx hours @£10ph or whatever the going rate is 😆😆

But you could say that about anything. If she wants clothes, alcohol, a book, chocolate, toiletries or anything else deemed present worthy, she could fund it herself.

The end result is the same either way. DB
buys the OP a bottle of wine and a couple of travel books for £30 and the OP doesn't need to buy them herself so has £30 more available to go travelling with.

Or he just gives her £30 that she puts in her travel fund. Much easier and it saves the OP doing her DBs thinking for him when deciding on a gift she'd like to receive.

There's no more 'joy' in opening a gift of a physical object when you know what it is that finding the equivalent in cash in a card that can be added to a travel fund

I love babysitting, I would never charge

Am I supposed to ask for something I don’t want?

@FullOfMomsense
"Asking for cash as an adult is tacky. If you want to travel you have to fund it yourself!"

Expecting free babysitting is pretty tacky too. If the brother can't give his sis some cash at Christmas for looking after his kids, then he can stump up for paid childcare from now on. Far less tacky all round!

Well that’s up to you, I was just thinking it made more sense than a present where he would ask what you wanted then tell you your choice was the wrong one! 😂

Start charging the entitled dickhead for babysitting!