Mum guilt after taking son to a concert

[Confusedpige0n]

I took my 11 year old son to see McFly vs Busted. He loved every second of it, About 30 minutes to the end of the 2 1/2 hour concert i suddenly thought I should have given him ear plugs to wear. It never crossed my mind to take them for him. I’m now feeling like the worst parent in the world and that I’ve damaged his hearing. I can’t believe I didn’t even think of it, perimenopause brain has me forgetting all sorts lately but this is unforgivable and I feel absolutely awful that I could have caused irreparable damage. Has anyone taken their children to concerts and they’ve been fine? I’ve wound myself up so much since we came home that I’ve been sick and can’t sleep I’m wracked with guilt about how irresponsible I’ve been.

I’ve taken my 2 to loads of concerts, smaller venues and big arenas. I tend to wear earplugs and always take them some too. They’ve never yet taken me up on the offer (aside from the ear defenders I forced them to wear when they were little) and so far they’ve been grand. Try not to worry yourself too much.

I’m a children’s audiologist and I’ve never given my children ear defenders to wear and wouldn’t have done at a concert such as the one you went to.

I went to see Queen play at Knebworth and my ears were ringing for a few days after 😂🤣 it caused no harm whatsoever and it was fucking brilliant!

The ringing in your ears certainly IS permanent damage. It tends to be high frequencies that have been damaged if the sound has been so loud that your ears have been ringing for days afterwards. Some of these high frequencies aren’t sounds that you would notice in everyday life, but a specialist hearing test would likely show some signs of noise induced hearing loss over time.
Noise damage isn’t noticeable straightaway but it is there.

I took my son to Mcfly vs Busted. It was a great show. I was chuffed as he used to wear ear defenders for noise as he was anxious and seeing him loving it, defender free was brill. He’ll be fine.

Rubbish, it was just a temporary state. You can't possibly diagnose me with permanent hearing damage over the internet and it's very irresponsible of you to do so.

It’s actually not irresponsible of me to state a fact that tinnitus after noise indicates permanent damage to the hair cells in the inner ear. It is actually irresponsible for people to believe that ears ringing for days after a concert has caused ‘no harm whatsoever’.
My PhD in a related subject and subsequent many years or work in the area qualify me to state this.

I say this nicely and as someone who suffers from anxiety - step away from Google, and your phone in general! He'll be fine, his hearing isn't going to implode just from an occasional concert or two.

Wouldn't it be great if every time anxiety reared its ugly head, all we had to do was get a grip? I completely understand where you're coming from, OP. Once you're in the throes, it's very difficult to see sense.

Earplugs would of been awful
It wouldnt of sounded the same.
He will be grateful you forgot. Trust me

A one off occasion will be absolutely fine, regular and prolonged exposure is where it will do damage. In future, most venues will have ear plugs available free at bars and kiosks so always worth an ask :)

Musician’s ear plugs don’t alter the sound, they dampen all frequencies of the sound equally, so it sounds the same , just a bit quieter and safer.
As someone who sees the damage when it shows up, usually decades later, I’d just like people to know about noise damage to hearing so that they can make an informed choice about whether or not to wear cheap, imore or less invisible ear plugs (not over the ear defenders) in a noisy venue.
I’m taking the time to type again what I’ve said upthread because if I can save one person from a miserable experience of tinnitus it would be worth it.

You didn't tell me a 'fact' about tinnitus, you said to me 'the ringing in your ears certainly is permanent damage'. You were making a statement about my personal situation. You have absolutely no idea whether some ringing in my ears after a concert 40 years ago, a story which i told in the context of trying to cheer op up, not in a medical context, caused damage or not. You didn't take a history or ask the nature of the ringing, you didn't do a hearing test. You then stated a supposed medical certainty. Over my life time I have been told so many medical certainties by doctors and surgeons, that have turned out to be incorrect, that i find doctors who are a bit more humble and who talk in possibilities and probabilities more trustworthy. If you really are an audiologist it is lucky for you that this is an anonymous forum because i don't think your professional body would be very impressed with your diagnosis of me over the internet. I have two questions - is there such a thing as a temporary ringing in the ears that causes no permanent damage? If you genuinely believe that a one off incident of temporary ringing in the ears causes permanent damage why don't you make your children wear ear plugs at a concert?

Unfortunately it doesn’t always stay temporary . Quote from a research review:

As a young concert goer recently put it: “My tinnitus always went away, until it didn’t. After about a year, I thought, this is permanent now. This is going to suck forever”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8073416/#:~:text=Unfortunately%2C%20music%20and%20noise%20levels,%2C%20until%20it%20didn't.

People do mostly get used to tinnitus eventually though

I fully understand that it doesn't always stay temporary. But in my case it was 😊

I am sorry if I have caused any upset.

Ringing in the ears after noise is linked to permanent damaged to the hair cells. This in turn damages the hearing. Not all of our hearing is used in every day life and we can therefore suffer this damage as a one off with no immediate noticeable effects. The damage is done at this point but for most people would only be a noticeable problem with repeated damage.

I have not lied about being an Audiologist; this would be a very specific and pointless lie. I am unsure why you think my professional body would disagree with anything I have said, but I appreciate that you have possibly been upset by what I said as you have had previous issues with receiving medical news.

To answer your question your questions - no, there is no such thing a ringing after noise exposure which does not cause permanent damage. I unfortunately did not know this when younger either and have indeed also suffered with this previously.

The OP did not state that her child had experienced tinnitus after the event and I think that these days, concerts in arenas are generally not loud enough to cause this (unless standing close to the speaker maybe). If I were to take my children to a noisy event, I would minimise the noise by choosing the location of the seats or where we were located at a standing event to try to ensure we were not close to the speakers. I also haven’t taken them to a music concert because neither would enjoy it sadly. I am reluctant to allow my children to use ear defenders (one child is autistic and school wanted her to wear them) because of the potential issues with long term use.

I would personally think that wearing ear defenders would spoil the music and wouldn’t put them in an 11 year old unless in a tiny venue where we were close to speakers.

I've taken my kids to festivals for years and they're fine.

Your professional body would be interested because you should only ever give generic statements over the internet and you also shouldn't give definitive pronouncements in your practice. You can only report the results of tests, not say something is definitely the case without doing any tests. Also what you say here is different from what you initially said. The body has a remarkable capacity to heal especially when we are younger. I am not one to use dr google too often as i prefer to speak to a real person with training, but dr google does describe something called a temporary threshhold shift where hairs become stiff and can't work for a while, as opposed to being permanently destroyed and unable to regenerate. If they are just stiff they will go back to normal, albeit more vulnerable to future injuries. Does this phenomenon exist or is it a case of dr google giving incorrect information?

People are so blasé about noise and hearing damage. I think there needs to be a public health campaign to educate about ears, the delicate hair cells etc.

What?!!! I have been pretty much the sole parent for taking my youngest to footie for the last 6 years - I go to all the training and all the matches - highly discriminative! Do you want your child to be a part of this?! Very worrying behaviour !

Yes they are.
Honestly lovely, your DS will have a core memory from this concert with you and it's a great one.

Are you on HRT? x

Just took my 10 year old to see benson Boone, she took her ear defenders but the noise level was actually fine, neither of us had ringing in our ears afterwards, he’ll be absolutely fine.

I suggest you take magnesium. Magnesium chelated from Solgar is good

Thank you I’ll have a go with those, my husband takes the Nutrition geeks magnesium for sleep so have plenty in ☺️

Thank you 🥰I don’t take HRT, I’ve fetched some Peri vitamins going to give those a go and magnesium as someone else suggested before I go back to the Drs again