Swearing, Youtube, phones…6-8 year olds

[Saywhatthehecknotwhatthehell]

Wanting to see how common this is and if i’m being too uptight.
Dd is 7 and plays with two friends locally, one is only 6 and has a mobile phone (parents say it’s ok as only has games and YouTube on (not kids Yt )
Other child is 8, no phone, but a tv in their room where they can watch YouTube (not kids) and Netflix etc.
We only let Dd watch YT occasionally if sat with her and something sensible is chosen, was noticing she gets completely addicted to some things and it was all such junk.
We let her play a game on our phones sometimes and sat next to us/supervised. She’s never had an ipad/tablet etc.

She ended up watching Yt with her friend at her house and being frightened by something and I had to contact the mum and say she wasn’t allowed on her phone
This week, Dd came back from her other friends house and said they were watching Yt in her friends bedroom on the tv…silly Bluey and all these other ones that can be dodgy. Do I contact this mum too? 😫

Dd has also started putting the middle finger up and finding it funny and says a kid at school keeps saying ‘What the fuck’ and shit.
Dd didn’t know any of this before.

Do your kids around this age swear/know swearing words? How do you deal with it and do they watch phones, Youtube etc?

Am I being too uptight in not wanting Dd to be watching things at their home and going on about swearing words?

Mine don’t. The access to YouTube happened much later, more like 9-10, but they have iPads with games. All age appropriate but younger one had a pad by 5. Previously they had to share with much older sibling and that caused too much agro.
The swearing is tricky as they will pick it up at other places, but you just tell them not to repeat it and explain it’s rude. It didn’t last long with ours.

This is not common in my experience (my youngest is 7).

But unfortunately, some children have terrible parents. Only bad parents stick a 6 year old on a phone to watch loads of YouTube unsupervised. Even my 12 year old has YouTube blocked on her phone!

I’ve learned it’s good practice to distance from these sorts of friends. In my experience, they are the ones exposed to stuff they don’t know how to handle and have home environments that aren’t the sort you want your dc unsupervised in. It’s better to put the brakes on it now and re-direct to new friends.

In terms of language, I correct them if they say something rude (they honestly don’t always know something is rude, they just repeat what friends say), but they get in trouble if they say it repeatedly and think it’s funny.

My 7 year old definitely knows some swear words and the middle finger. He also knows not to say them. I don't think he knows fuck yet but they pick this stuff up from older kids at school. I try not to react, just remind him I don't want to hear it.

None of his friends have a phone, and I would massively judge any parents who did let them have one. He basically doesn't go to the houses of any parents I know are lax on this stuff. One of his best friends has much older siblings and seemingly no restrictions on what he watches/plays, so he's not going there. Another friend plays Roblox and chats to kids he doesn't know - again, he's not going to that kid's house.

We're not screen free by any means - he has a tablet but YouTube is restricted to a few channels I've approved. He has some games on it and he'll get Minecraft for Christmas. I don't mind tech at all but it has to be age appropriate and safe. I know this will get trickier as he gets older and is more independent (10-ish), but for now I'm strict.

The problem is, if the parents are ok with their child watching any old thing, will they really stop them just because your child is there? Probably not.

Agree, we’ve really struggled with the whole phone situation with a little girl so young and have distanced ourselves and try to only have that friend at our house under my supervision. The other boy is from a really good family, so I’m surprised about the tv in his room with access to Yt, would you just kindly message the mum
and say mine isn’t allowed to watch it?

I don't think you can police what happens in someone else's house, even if you don't agree with it. What you can do is not allow your daughter to go there again. At this age, they shouldn't have access to YT or phones at all.

As for the swearing and middle finger, you can't stop your child coming across this at school - you can tell your daughter that it's rude and she's not allowed to do it and there will be a consequence if she does.

We allow DS (6) to have supervised access to YT and Netflix but we always watch it with him. I wouldn’t expect him to have unsupervised access (or even access at all) at a friend’s. I will say that he’s started to pick up some slightly dodgy language from older children at school and some of his friends who have older siblings. At the moment, it’s quite innocent (the latest one is that if they like something, that say ‘that’s so sick’ which I find quite funny) but I expect it will progress into swearing quite quickly. I think my approach will be for DS to know that there are times and places where we don’t swear and try not to overreact too much so it becomes something that he thinks is fun to do.

I have an 8 year old, most of her friends have phones which I personally think is insane.
My oldest is 11 and is the only one of his whole year group (26 kids) that doesn't have a phone
They do however have access to YouTube, however I have it blocked on their TV and they need the password to get into it.
But they have it on their tablets

My kids are 6 and 10 and both know swear words but generally don’t say them. They say most kids at school know them but also most don’t generally use them.
I definitely knew all the swear words at that age but was very aware that it was rude to say them so was very careful if/when I did.

Neither of mine have phones yet but will do when starting secondary school. Seems to be the case for the majority of kids we know, just a handful in daughters year (year 6) have one.

Both kids have iPads with parental settings and can watch Netflix and YT etc on the tv. I listen to what they’re watching and they also like to show me what they’re watching. If it is inappropriate then I’ll tell them to watch something else. Neither have said that they’ve seen anything which scares them.

God no this isn't common. None of dd's friends have a phone or unrestricted YouTube as far I'm aware. Terrible lazy patenting

My 6 year old knows which words are swear words, and knows she shouldn’t say them.

We don’t allow YouTube (or KidsTube) at all and have removed the app from our TV (it was preloaded on there when we got it).

My DCs (age 10, 9 & 6) don’t have access to any devices that aren’t heavy with parental controls. They have a TV in their shared playroom which only has Netflix and Disney+ on it, and the adult profiles are locked with a PIN so they can only access the kids content. My eldest and middle ones both have Kindles which are linked to the Kindle App on my phone, so I can control what time their Kindles turn off at nighttime, what content they have access to in the Library etc.
Youngest has an Amazon Fire kids tablet but that’s the same sketch - controlled by an App on my phone, and any game downloads she tries to do have to be approved by me before the download begins.

I think in your situation, I’d be having play dates at my house rather than the other kids’ houses 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d never want my DCs to be at a friends’ house and have unsupervised access to the things you describe.

wow i’m surprised at the 8 year olds all having phones, where is this? Do you mean active phones with whatsapp etc to contact each other, or old phones that they just use like a tablet to play games ?

Ex teacher

i worked in primary for a few years

by 7 most of them know at least some swear words but are also sensible enough to keep them for the playground.

i’m not sure you’ll get very far trying to police what other people’s kids watch on their tvs.

We used to allow our 7 year old limited access to YouTube kids but it turned her into a demon so now they only have rare limited supervised access.

My 7 year old knows swear words, and other than him swearing when he was around 2 or 3 (which I didn't draw any attention to, so therefore he stopped) he doesn't swear. He doesn't know the middle finger.

He has a TV in his room, but only with YouTube kids, Netflix, Disney+ and an educational kids app thing. I get insights into what he's watching and if I think it's inappropriate, I tell him he can't watch it anymore and explain why. He also uses it to watch kid-safe ASMR (on my YouTube account, and I've set up a playlist of videos that I've watched and are appropriate) as that helps him to fall asleep.

Scotland
Actual phones with mobile data
I see most children come out of school that age and straight away they are on snapchat taking photos, its quite sad

No, I just wouldn't have her go over.

Ds (7) doesn't watch YouTube at all, and we don't let him play on our phones. He watches a bit of TV at weekends, no time in the week and we don't have it on in the background. He did swear recently and I was gobsmacked, he apologised profusely, when I asked where he heard it it was at school and whilst he knew it was rude I don't think he realised it was actual swearing. He dropped something and said oh for fuck's sake 🤦🏼‍♀️, which sounds like something another child may have accidentally overheard rather than swearing at someone.
I'm not sure what the issue is with Bluey though? DS' Y1 teacher used to let them watch it at the end of term etc.

No that’s is unusual. What’s wrong with Bluey though?

I think the Bluey problem the OP is talking about is because they’re not official bluey episodes. On youtube there are loads of random bluey/peppa pig videos with adults doing voiceovers etc or using toys to act out scenes, very bizarre

Swearing - once in education they get an education. Just remember many peers will have older siblings or parents who enjoy swearing. They will pick it up. Just set boundaries with your own child about what words are acceptable and are not.

YouTube is a horrible place to navigate as a parent. Many helpful, educational, fun and sometimes goofy videos, mixed in with weird, random, brain rot and outright offensive or ridiculous shit.

Unfortunately you can't police what others are willing to let their children view. You're either happy with the conditions of your child going to their house, or you ask the child to yours and can set your own boundaries. Or the children have a relationship outside of each others homes.

This sounds normal tbh

The swearing, middle finger, rubbish stuff on YouTube etc.They do eventually grow out of it 😂

All you can do is limit screen time

The exposure at school is hard to avoid really

I imagine that it's the pirated bluey - like the Peppa pig episodes

Is it bad let her play games on our phones? -feeding cats and dogs, drawing games etc?

Is that kids youtube or just normal YouTube?

Yes it’s these not normal Bluey, which is great