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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pet fish

27 replies

Besttimeofyear · 06/11/2025 09:33

Does anyone have any?

We have a ddog, she’s getting on a bit now and not so playful. My 7 year old always seems to want to be finding pets/bugs and looking after things. She’d probably love a pet fish, but is it sad/cruel on the fish?
Also how much are fish and the equipment (smallish bowl) how often to clean and would the dog try to get it, should you get a pair?
Basically how much of a hassle are they? 😂

OP posts:
Strawberrycheesecake7 · 06/11/2025 09:38

No fish should be kept in a bowl. That is cruel.

crumpetswithcheeze · 06/11/2025 09:39

It’s not cruel if you do it properly. It is cruel if you don’t do it properly. Unfortunately bowls aren’t suitable for any fish, they’re too small and the wrong shape. Your best bet is to go to a pet shop and ask what the easiest fish to keep are, what they need, (light, filter, heater, air pump), then depending on your budget you can source everything second hand if needed.

LuigiGhostDog · 06/11/2025 09:41

You don’t get a bowl, you get a tank that is suitable for the number of fish you have along with the correct substrate, a filter, air stone, heater (for tropical fish), water treatment and food.

Do some research or go along to a local aquatics store and ask for advice. Fish are beautiful creatures to have but they do require upkeep and care just like any animal, if you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t do it.

Lazygardener · 06/11/2025 09:45

Many garden centres have aquatic outlets and the staff there will be able to advise you. Fish aren’t necessarily cheap to keep, but at least you don’t have to take them for a walk,

GarlicBreadStan · 06/11/2025 10:21

crumpetswithcheeze · 06/11/2025 09:39

It’s not cruel if you do it properly. It is cruel if you don’t do it properly. Unfortunately bowls aren’t suitable for any fish, they’re too small and the wrong shape. Your best bet is to go to a pet shop and ask what the easiest fish to keep are, what they need, (light, filter, heater, air pump), then depending on your budget you can source everything second hand if needed.

I wouldn't advise going to Pets At Home, though, because they're fucking clueless and sell tanks that are far too small for fish to have good lives in

crumpetswithcheeze · 06/11/2025 11:02

GarlicBreadStan · 06/11/2025 10:21

I wouldn't advise going to Pets At Home, though, because they're fucking clueless and sell tanks that are far too small for fish to have good lives in

Good point. The cages they sell for hamsters and mice are also dire 😢

Ponoka7 · 06/11/2025 11:05

If you want one fish get a Japanese fighting fish, you can get these at PAH. Research the tank. I had fish, but didn't like that you can just find them dead.

Sahara123 · 06/11/2025 11:15

We went through the fish phase, kids interest lasted 5 minutes and then I got completely fed up with cleaning the flipping tank out.!

Sahara123 · 06/11/2025 11:20

Now I come to think of it it all started when we won one at a fair. Went and bought the tank, all the gear plus a couple of friends for fishy, then it died as poor funfair fish tended to do so I was left with tank cleaning which was such a pain !
Do you still win fish at funfairs, it was rather cruel now I come to think about it.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/11/2025 12:00

I keep fish and we do some aquarium maintainance for a few local people who can't do it themselves...

Cold water fish like goldfish need VERY large tanks and heavy filtration - the common goldfish has an adult size of 6 to 12 inches (in reality the adult size is 8 to 12 inches but the average is dropped down by the number of significantly stunted fish due to poor housing).

There is an oft repeated myth that fish will limit growth to the size of the tank - I mean this is sort of true... in the same way that if you kept a small child in a box full of their own piss and shit they would also be pretty stunted... it's not a good thing! Fish will absolutely grow so big they can't comfortably turn around in a small tank, but most will die before that happens... painfully, (because yes they do feel pain!) probably from ammonia burns to their gills.

The natural lifespan of a common goldfish is around 30 ish years... probably longer, but again the number of goldfish fry and juveniles dying at a year or two old brings it down.

Go as big as you can possibly accomodate - focus on keeping water quality perfect. The bigger the volume, the easier that is to do.

Look at what sort of water you have - fish are either evolved to live in hard water or soft - a soft water fish cannot survive to its full potential in hard water, and vice versa (and trying to make them do so is to either have their bodies bloated with water they can't shift, overloading kidneys, or the minerals stripped from their bodies that they can't replace, as the wrong water messes with their ability to osmoregulate).

YOu can alter the water if you want - I live in a hard water area and keep soft water fish. I have a Reverse Osmosis unit and have to adjust the chemistry of every bucket that goes into the tanks - you probably do not want!

Some small fish need a lot more room than you realise - for example, neon tetras need to live in big schools and have a big tank, they swim a lot!

A siamese fighting fish or betta however, bobs around, likes to explore but would be more than happy with a 10gallon tank with some nice broad leaved plants to sit on.

Tanks (whether cold or tropical, hard or soft water) need to be set up and run so that the filter 'cycles' this means it builds up a colony of denitrifying bacteria.

That process is started by you adding ammonia, and monitoring it, and it takes around 6 weeks, which is very boring for a kiddo.

Couple of alternatives (but not the 'instant bacteria' products people try to sell. They don't work, wrong bacteria).

Set up a filter running in a big bucket somewhere out of the way. Run the cycle just as you would for the actual tank, it is the filter you're cycling not the tank/water anyway - theres tons online telling you how to cycle a filter, look for 'fishless cycle'.

When you get the tank set up, planted up, filled with dechlorinated water etc - and water up to temp, pop the now cycled filter in there and get that running. You need to maintain the cycle by feeding the bacteria, so you either continue to dose with a bit of ammonia until you can put in some fish, or just put in fish. Do not overload it by fully stocking the tank straight away though!!

This does still take around six weeks, however you can often set this up somewhere without a kiddo seeing (if its for a tropical tank you will need a heater in the bucket too!) - so you haven't got six weeks of 'im bored can we get a fish today?'.

The other option requires you to know someone with a nice big healthy tank, and them being willing to let you s hove your filter on their tank for a few weeks, pop a few of their rinsed but still bacteria laden sponges from their filter... and then transfer to your tank (or just nick some of their filter media) - it need stheir tank to be VERY healthy, no parasites, no disease...

You also need to do the transfer pretty fast as the bacteria die off if starved of oxygen/temps drop too far.

Finally - most fish shops will tell you a load of old rubbish, particularly Pets At Home who often don't even know what species they're selling and will tell you to just let the filter run the water round the tank a few days then stock fully, or will ask to test a sample of water ... Then they test for ammonia which any tank full of clean tap water will not have, declare it safe and sell you fish (which then poo in the water, ammonia builds up and within a week your fish are dying of ammonia burns).

For a kid into fish..

Small space - 35 to 45 litre tank would suit a handful of shrimp and some white cloud mountain minnows - they both want medium to harder water, and a heater keeping things at around 20c will suit both too.

Alternative - same tank, single male betta/siamese fighter.

Alternative - soft water - loads of chilli rasboras
Alternative - hard water - endlers guppies (but get just males or you'll have MILLIONS of babies)

If you can go up to 250l, you could keep some of the more common tetras (soft water)..

Asides from endlers guppies and fancy guppies, theres not many small fish for hard water tanks - mollies and platys actually get fairly big and will want a 200+ l tank to have more than a pair of either.

If you can go REALLY big 400l+ then the hard water world opens up with all the african lake cichlids which can be very bright (but a lot of these are very aggressive).

Keep in mind that a large tank, whilst taking a little longer to do a water change (around 40% weekly) will be much more forgiving of you being a day or two late on that change than a small tank! Also much easier to leave for a week or two whilst you go on holiday without needing to have someone come fiddle with it!

Gall10 · 06/11/2025 12:03

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/11/2025 12:00

I keep fish and we do some aquarium maintainance for a few local people who can't do it themselves...

Cold water fish like goldfish need VERY large tanks and heavy filtration - the common goldfish has an adult size of 6 to 12 inches (in reality the adult size is 8 to 12 inches but the average is dropped down by the number of significantly stunted fish due to poor housing).

There is an oft repeated myth that fish will limit growth to the size of the tank - I mean this is sort of true... in the same way that if you kept a small child in a box full of their own piss and shit they would also be pretty stunted... it's not a good thing! Fish will absolutely grow so big they can't comfortably turn around in a small tank, but most will die before that happens... painfully, (because yes they do feel pain!) probably from ammonia burns to their gills.

The natural lifespan of a common goldfish is around 30 ish years... probably longer, but again the number of goldfish fry and juveniles dying at a year or two old brings it down.

Go as big as you can possibly accomodate - focus on keeping water quality perfect. The bigger the volume, the easier that is to do.

Look at what sort of water you have - fish are either evolved to live in hard water or soft - a soft water fish cannot survive to its full potential in hard water, and vice versa (and trying to make them do so is to either have their bodies bloated with water they can't shift, overloading kidneys, or the minerals stripped from their bodies that they can't replace, as the wrong water messes with their ability to osmoregulate).

YOu can alter the water if you want - I live in a hard water area and keep soft water fish. I have a Reverse Osmosis unit and have to adjust the chemistry of every bucket that goes into the tanks - you probably do not want!

Some small fish need a lot more room than you realise - for example, neon tetras need to live in big schools and have a big tank, they swim a lot!

A siamese fighting fish or betta however, bobs around, likes to explore but would be more than happy with a 10gallon tank with some nice broad leaved plants to sit on.

Tanks (whether cold or tropical, hard or soft water) need to be set up and run so that the filter 'cycles' this means it builds up a colony of denitrifying bacteria.

That process is started by you adding ammonia, and monitoring it, and it takes around 6 weeks, which is very boring for a kiddo.

Couple of alternatives (but not the 'instant bacteria' products people try to sell. They don't work, wrong bacteria).

Set up a filter running in a big bucket somewhere out of the way. Run the cycle just as you would for the actual tank, it is the filter you're cycling not the tank/water anyway - theres tons online telling you how to cycle a filter, look for 'fishless cycle'.

When you get the tank set up, planted up, filled with dechlorinated water etc - and water up to temp, pop the now cycled filter in there and get that running. You need to maintain the cycle by feeding the bacteria, so you either continue to dose with a bit of ammonia until you can put in some fish, or just put in fish. Do not overload it by fully stocking the tank straight away though!!

This does still take around six weeks, however you can often set this up somewhere without a kiddo seeing (if its for a tropical tank you will need a heater in the bucket too!) - so you haven't got six weeks of 'im bored can we get a fish today?'.

The other option requires you to know someone with a nice big healthy tank, and them being willing to let you s hove your filter on their tank for a few weeks, pop a few of their rinsed but still bacteria laden sponges from their filter... and then transfer to your tank (or just nick some of their filter media) - it need stheir tank to be VERY healthy, no parasites, no disease...

You also need to do the transfer pretty fast as the bacteria die off if starved of oxygen/temps drop too far.

Finally - most fish shops will tell you a load of old rubbish, particularly Pets At Home who often don't even know what species they're selling and will tell you to just let the filter run the water round the tank a few days then stock fully, or will ask to test a sample of water ... Then they test for ammonia which any tank full of clean tap water will not have, declare it safe and sell you fish (which then poo in the water, ammonia builds up and within a week your fish are dying of ammonia burns).

For a kid into fish..

Small space - 35 to 45 litre tank would suit a handful of shrimp and some white cloud mountain minnows - they both want medium to harder water, and a heater keeping things at around 20c will suit both too.

Alternative - same tank, single male betta/siamese fighter.

Alternative - soft water - loads of chilli rasboras
Alternative - hard water - endlers guppies (but get just males or you'll have MILLIONS of babies)

If you can go up to 250l, you could keep some of the more common tetras (soft water)..

Asides from endlers guppies and fancy guppies, theres not many small fish for hard water tanks - mollies and platys actually get fairly big and will want a 200+ l tank to have more than a pair of either.

If you can go REALLY big 400l+ then the hard water world opens up with all the african lake cichlids which can be very bright (but a lot of these are very aggressive).

Keep in mind that a large tank, whilst taking a little longer to do a water change (around 40% weekly) will be much more forgiving of you being a day or two late on that change than a small tank! Also much easier to leave for a week or two whilst you go on holiday without needing to have someone come fiddle with it!

Do you use ChatGPT for all your replies?

Gall10 · 06/11/2025 12:06

There’s no way a 7 yr old will be able to care for the fish…you’ll end up doing (more likely not doing) the water checks & changes.
How about stick insects? Interesting, low maintenance, not smelly, ideal!

YodasHairyButt · 06/11/2025 12:07

Bottom line, to keep any kind of fish properly and healthy is quite involved and takes a bit of research and learning. Lots of people keep fish badly and they suffer and die. They aren’t a low maintenance pet.

BauhausOfEliott · 06/11/2025 12:07

Firstly, a bowl is not a suitable way to house a fish. They need a decent-sized tank.

Fish aren't really 'easy' pets - it's easy to look after a fish badly. Looking after fish well and kindly is a great deal more work.

If you really want to know how to look after fish, Google and the library would be a good place to start. It's not difficult to find out this sort of information.

SailingAwayAgain · 06/11/2025 12:23

I used to keep fish. Before starting I read books on the subject and took advice from an aquarium/aquatic shop. I had a 3 ft tank (about 15 gallons capacity, I think).

I found it much harder to maintain than I had expected. It was quite a lot of work - just the weekly water exchange used to take an entire morning, then there was also the issue of caring for the plants (pruning, replanting etc) and a constant conflict between the health of the plants and the health of the fish, getting the lighting right, getting the filtration right and so on.

I gave up after about 10 years and donated my last remaining fish (a large loach) to a local aquatics shop.

LeaderBee · 06/11/2025 12:27

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 06/11/2025 09:38

No fish should be kept in a bowl. That is cruel.

People will argue it's fine because goldfish only have a 3 second memory but there have been scientific studies done that prove they are reasonably intelligent, can memorise things and solve very simple puzzles.

Putting a goldfish in a bowl is indeed cruel.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/11/2025 12:29

Gall10 · 06/11/2025 12:03

Do you use ChatGPT for all your replies?

Are you this rude to everyone?

I didn't use ChatGPT at all, if I had it'd be better laid out and less waffley, contain fewer punctuation errors and typos.

Funnily enough, there are folk out there who know stuff.

Given the amount of content online that I've written over the years on animal related subjects, it's likely ChatGPT is trained on some of my work.

Greggsit · 06/11/2025 12:30

You'll need a reasonably big tank, not a bowl. There's quite a bit of work involved including daily feeding and at least weekly cleaning and water changes. It can get messy, it's too much for a 7 year old. If you're prepared to do the work yourself, fish are great. And I've never had a dog that took any interest in the tanks, so that's probably not a concern.

LeaderBee · 06/11/2025 12:36

Gall10 · 06/11/2025 12:03

Do you use ChatGPT for all your replies?

What the F* are you talking about?

This is clearly the response of someone experienced with fish and has some great advice.

How rude.

DaffodilValley · 06/11/2025 12:38

I couldn’t have put it better than @WiddlinDiddlin who obviously knows her stuff.

I used to keep fish in a big way, both tropical and coldwater, and they were the most expensive and complex animals to maintain I’ve ever had - and I used have a horse!

Fish really aren’t good pets for children unless you are enthusiastic about looking after them too.

Ylvamoon · 06/11/2025 12:38

My DC had fish ... as a parent, I obviously ended up doing all the work. I hated cleaning the tank

But here is the fun part: we had 4 goldfish and one was really quite affectionate in a goldfish sort of way! He'd swim up, you could stroke his back and I managed to teach him to swim through a hoop - with food and his desire for back scratches! DC still found them boring in comparison to a dog. Our fish are still alive in FIL garden pond. So they can have long lives! Ours are around 15 years now...

PullingOutHair123 · 06/11/2025 12:44

Don't is my experience. Way more work then you would think. And costs as well.

Hamsters are easier (not sure about the dog aspect!). They also don't live as long as many fish. Just ensure you get the poor thing a decent sized cage, and keep cleaned etc.

DaffodilValley · 06/11/2025 12:46

As far as the dog goes, most of my dogs ignored the fish, but I once had a lovely young Koi who was overwintering in a huge tank that ran the length of a room and who jumped out one night.
One of my dogs heard the noise, barged past me in the dark and swallowed the fish whole. Quite an expensive fish supper. 😞

Apart from that they never really interacted with each other at all.

RedTagAlan · 06/11/2025 12:55

Gall10 · 06/11/2025 12:03

Do you use ChatGPT for all your replies?

I am a fishkeeper, and that does not look AI. It's just fish talk :-)

I keep goldfish in a 600L tank, and I disagree with the PP re tank size not limiting fish growth. It is certainly the case that goldies in cramped conditions excrete a growth inhibitor.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/11/2025 13:03

The tank size limiting fish growth thing is... complex.

With goldies, I've seen fish simply not grow, and then die young - usually thats a result of lack of filtration, horrible water and the fish dies before it can grow.

I've seen fish barely able to turn around, somewhat stunted in length, but very overweight - thats better water quality, good filtration, so any growth limiting hormone is reduced via frequent water changes perhaps?

The already deformed fancy goldfish are much more likely to achieve this 'hefty fish in a too small tank' situation too. Not quite sure why, commons need to swim more and I think are more likely to die before they get to a point where the lay person would spot that they're too big.

The point is though - it's not the good thing it's often suggested to be. Itls bad for anyone to be stunted and going beyond goldfish, some fish (thinking of species like common plecs, sailfin plecs, clown loaches, pacus) absolutely will continue to grow despite it hampering their ability to turn around in the tank.