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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if a workplace requires you to wear a poppy they should supply one?

278 replies

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 07:31

Basically just that. My work group chat have had a text from our manager this morning to say that if we don’t have a poppy by the end of the day we could face disciplinary action. I don’t tend to carry cash with me and have no way of getting change as I’m now on my way to work. Would I be unreasonable to go back and ask them to supply one for me?

I have nothing against wearing the poppy, I just don’t tend to carry cash with me and don’t go to places where they’re sold that frequently. I’ve not seen a single poppy box yet this year.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 06/11/2025 13:46

I don’t wear one anymore, precisely because of those sort of attempt to enforce it. People died for us to have freedom, not fascism.

GAJLY · 06/11/2025 13:48

I was once asked to buy a few pink tops for work, to refect the company's colour! I'd already bought my suits and tops, and was on a very limited budget. I could not afford to buy more tops. I ignored the managers request, as did everyone else. A meeting was called as no pink was visible! We all explained we couldn't afford it, she then gave us all a one off clothing allowance to buy these bastard tops! If your boss wants something then they really need to buy them amd bring them in for you all.

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 13:52

Blingismything · 06/11/2025 12:40

There is a QR code on the poppy box to enable payment by card.

Yes, and I’ve ended up spending £3 on a pin (I’m not going to buy a flimsy bit of paper that’ll be ruined in a week) that I couldn’t really afford to spend, in order to not be punished at work. That’s one bus journey to work gone

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 06/11/2025 13:54

This is not a thing. I'm a huge supporter of poppies and I have a sticker on my car all year around. I never wear a poppy.

emilysquest · 06/11/2025 13:54

My DH is a pacifist and hates the implied glorification of war in the poppy wearing (having fought in a war himself, not in the British military). He wouldn't wear a poppy under any circumstances, I know, and he would lose his job rather than do so.

ChristmasCountdown2025 · 06/11/2025 13:57

BallerinaRadio · 06/11/2025 08:06

These are probably the same people frothing at the mouth when they see people on TV without them.

Ah poppy season where the country loses it's collective mind for a couple of weeks resulting in poppies being painted on parent and child spaces in supermarket car parks.

They can't force you to do this and a disciplinary would be most interesting.

Do you mean supermarket spaces?

Where is this - I’ve never seen it (and I travel a lot for work)

Boreded · 06/11/2025 13:58

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 08:06

You can think less of me if you like? That doesn’t affect me at all. I’m not against wearing one but I also have conflicting feelings. My grandfather served in WW2 and was left with PTSD that led to him being incredibly abusive to my father. My father was once tied to a table for six hours as a punishment for some childish misdemeanour. I question why my grandfather wasn’t given adequate support after the war to prevent this from happening. It doesn’t mean I respect the veterans who have served any less.

Edited

You don’t need to justify yourself. It’s your choice. The person who commented to you is just looking for a fight

MsPavlichenko · 06/11/2025 13:59

It is outrageous being told you have to wear a poppy regardless of where you work. I have no idea what grounds they would have for disciplinary action.

I don’t wear a poppy, I don’t plant to in the future. That’s my choice in the free society we are told we live in, and that those who died gave their lives for.

Clonakilla · 06/11/2025 13:59

I don’t think anyone who thinks this should be enforced understands the first thing about what they’re pretending to respect.

CitizenofMoronia · 06/11/2025 14:09

Id make the biggest, most flamboyant paper poppy ever and wear it just to take the pee

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 06/11/2025 14:10

YANBU - if they require it, they should provide it, preferably with an explanation of how they think requiring it is in line what they think the poppy is about.

I have a red poppy I have from a small local veteran charity that says Never Again that I've been debating whether to wear to work. I probably wouldn't wear it when dealing with service users.

I stopped supporting Royal British Legion some years back when around this time of year they thought it was appropriate to put children in shirts with 'Future Soldier' on them. That's not remembrance, that's not helping veterans.

Am astonished at all the politicising and posturing about personal views.
The poppy is a symbol of remembrance, not a demonstration of your standpoint on war or the army or freedom or democracy.

Poppies were political before WW2, first politicised by WW1 veterans and widows giving their very negative opinion on wars and the government's recklessness in war and in the treatment of those after.

Moving from Never Again to Lest We Forget is also a political and ideological move. That the remembrance for WW1 and WW2 is solely on the military, and erases the many other groups involved including conscientious objectors who sat on rooftops in cities to watch out for bombers and fires, at great risk to themselves, to be able to warn and be part of fire fighting and rubble clearing work that rescued and saved countless lives is a political and ideological choice.

We live post war and conflict free and we are asked to remember that some people died in achieving just that.

We are far from conflict free and have only been 'post war' by a technicality for a few years because the US decided to pull out of Afghanistan because of tiring of the monetary cost and the UK went with. It had absolutely nothing to do with the people who tragically died in that war who it feels are quite often unfortunately erased to make a prettier remembrance picture.

CautiousLurker2 · 06/11/2025 14:16

If it’s deemed essential by management - they should supply them. Totally understand why the [elderly] customer base may value them, but your employer absolutely cannot impose disciplinary consequences for something that is not set out in your contracts of employment, especially at such short notice.

Perhaps someone in the team [the manager] can take some petty cash and pop to Smith's to buy a dozen of them to distribute?

divorcinganabsolutewanker · 06/11/2025 14:20

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/11/2025 12:58

Nobody "should" be buying or wearing a poppy. Fair enough if someone wants to buy/wear one not everyone does.

I'm Irish so hell would freeze over before I would donate to a charity that supports the perpetrators of Bloody Sunday, Ballymurphy etc

Same here.

My dad would turn in his grave if I were to put one on.

I never wore one growing up.

Erin go brah.

lazyarse123 · 06/11/2025 14:23

AngelinaFibres · 06/11/2025 11:00

You should be buying and wearing a poppy regardless of work requirements. Surely you can afford a pound ( poppy sellers carry payment machines now anyway). You'd spend more than than in Greggs without giving it a thought.

Why should op be told what to spend her limited money on?
Freedoms were fought for so that people can make their own choices.

Iocanepowder · 06/11/2025 14:53

Even though you’ve now bought one op, i would still recommend escalating this.

LeedsLoiner · 06/11/2025 15:40

BIossomtoes · 06/11/2025 12:14

N Ireland is very different to the mainland. It’s not naivety, it’s completely different history and culture.

Northern Ireland is on the mainland.

SerendipityJane · 06/11/2025 15:51

LeedsLoiner · 06/11/2025 15:40

Northern Ireland is on the mainland.

And there you have it.

NikkiPotnick · 06/11/2025 15:56

Clonakilla · 06/11/2025 13:59

I don’t think anyone who thinks this should be enforced understands the first thing about what they’re pretending to respect.

Exactly this!

Gymbunny2025 · 06/11/2025 19:24

Brefugee · 06/11/2025 09:38

like what? you don't have to. And if you do, you should either claim back as expenses (in full) or on your tax return.

I used to be in the military. Like both my parents before me, like my grandfathers before them. Going back quite a way. I only ever wore a poppy in uniform because it was literally an order. But i don't always get one these days. And i didn't sign up to the "one day's pay" scheme while i served because the officers were only required to pay a certain amount which was not the equivalent of one day's pay for any of us.

These days it's a lot of performative nonsense. I have a broach and earrings and sometimes wear them. Sometimes not.

Yes I claim back on tax return but that’s only the tax paid not the full amount

Askingforafriendtoday · 06/11/2025 19:24

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 07:36

But I don’t agree with being told I must spend my own money to comply with the requests of the manager.

When people 'buy' a poppy to support the charity they can take several. Just ask someone on Teams chat get one for you, they haven't bought it, just contributed to a very useful charity, imo, which you're unable to as no cash and don't want to anyway. Wear the poppy so as not to get disciplined, but it may be worth your while looking into what they do and perhaps treat your colleague to a coffee, at least.
Lest we forget...

Askingforafriendtoday · 06/11/2025 19:29

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 07:36

But I don’t agree with being told I must spend my own money to comply with the requests of the manager.

https://www.britishlegion.org.uk/get-involved/fundraise-for-us/poppy-appeal

Alpacajigsaw · 06/11/2025 19:48

HaveIGoneMadHere · 06/11/2025 08:45

I’d happily get one if I have cash and saw a seller. I have personal conflicts though which is allowed?

You don’t have to justify yourself OP.

FWIW I know exactly what you mean about your GF as mine was just the same. We always thought he was just a nasty cruel old bastard but really it was probably PTSD.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/11/2025 19:59

Askingforafriendtoday · 06/11/2025 19:24

When people 'buy' a poppy to support the charity they can take several. Just ask someone on Teams chat get one for you, they haven't bought it, just contributed to a very useful charity, imo, which you're unable to as no cash and don't want to anyway. Wear the poppy so as not to get disciplined, but it may be worth your while looking into what they do and perhaps treat your colleague to a coffee, at least.
Lest we forget...

A useful charity in your opinion. Any charity that supports the perpetrators of massacres such as Ballymurphy and Bloody Sunday is definitely not one I would consider useful.

Askingforafriendtoday · 07/11/2025 07:08

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/11/2025 19:59

A useful charity in your opinion. Any charity that supports the perpetrators of massacres such as Ballymurphy and Bloody Sunday is definitely not one I would consider useful.

Yes, appalling. 11 innocent civilians killed in the former, and 26 in the latter. But in the whole horrible, continuing history of conflict there are many who followed orders, killing and maiming, sometimes bad intelligence involved, and suffer ongoing physical and mental torment as a result. The charity supports them. The OP states that she's happy to wear a poppy but doesn't carry cash so I merely provided a practical solution. Others in her workplace will have donated and can pick up more than one poppy however much they put in

SerendipityJane · 07/11/2025 09:25

One conclusion of this thread is that fascism is OK as long as it doesn't cost anything. Or so AI thought.