To say DH was rude!

[RiseOfTheTeenyTinies]

DD is a teenager, she was hanging out in mine and Days room chatting to me. She does get very repetitive and likes to talk about ADHD quite a lot and often repeats the same story. It’s fine to me I just go with what she likes to talk about.

DH just put his headphones in. DD felt unwelcome and left the room.

was DH rude?

Gosh. Some of the problems that people post on here, that you can deal with yourself (without needing permission or validation from others) are absolutely ridiculous.

Well he wasn't part of the conversation and she was in your room so I don't see why he was in the wrong. He wanted to relax in his room surely if you wanted to have a conversation you could have it in the living room?

No, he wasn't rude. She was talking to you, not him.

He wasn't, he wasn't a part of the conversation and listening to someone talking a lot about a condition of any kind gets grating after a bit.

Yes he was rude he could have excused himself politely if she was just talking to you

I probably wouldn't have sat and let DD ramble on repeatedly about stuff! There's a limit and kids need to learn when enough is enough surely? DH was probably fed up hearing it

You said she was talking to you, not him. He wasn't part of the conversation, I don't think it was rude.

This, it really does become exhausting when someone bangs on forever ‘all about me’ if you and she wanted to have this discussion why not her room or the living room? And what side of teen? 13 or 19?

Is it symptomatic of him making zero time for his dd? If yes, he’s a dick.

IWhy is it only on the mum to listen to her dd?

I have an ADHD dd and I do the same to her. Sometimes you need to switch off from the incessant jibber-jabber. Yes he was probably rude but it might do your dd some good to toughen up and accept that people aren’t always just listening posts for her every utterance.

You sound like you centre your child and are willing to sit and listen to them talk for hours. That's your choice.

It's his choice not to do so, surely, and have an adult moment to himself, in his own room.

Perhaps you should have taken her through to the kitchen, rather than expecting your dh to listen to her repetitive stories. Adults are allowed not to be perfect angels with no feelings or wants.

It's good she realised she was being a bit painful and left, tbh. Will help with other social interactions.

Who said it was?

OP clearly makes an effort for her ADHD dd, and instead of recognising this and questioning why the DH doesn’t do the same. your solution is for OP to leave the room and leave the DH in peace.

Noone said it was just on the mum but they weren't involving him in the conversation. Nothing suggest he doesn't have conversations with his daughter just on this occasion he wasn't part of the conversation so why shouldn't he put the headphones on?

So do you think if someone wants to talk at you for the umpteenth time about them and their health and be nothing more than a ‘listening post’ as per pp, then this has to happen and others must be their captive audience?

Does your daughter actually have ADHD herself?

Relax 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Agree with this. Nothing wrong with what he did.

he was in his bedroom. That is one place you should be able to relax. You want to yak about ADHD over and over and over with your DD? go in her room and let him relax

OP hasn’t said it’s her husband’s daughter.

Can you imagine? Because he’s a man and you “you know how men are” (so no doubt everything he does is a slight). He must fall to his knees and ask to be excused politely… from his own bedroom.

I swear the women here kill me everyday with laughter

Agree @KindButFirmFox can you imagine the uproar if a dh and his ds were doing the same?!
”In YOUR bedroom?!! Your SANCTUARY?!! This is ABUSE!!!!”

The op mentions that she and her daughter were chatting, sounds like during this conversation, dh wasn't involved. Not everyone in the room has to be involved in every conversation

Also, from the little information in the op,we don't know if dh doesn't make an effort...he could have spent 3 hours chatting with his kid before this conversation and wanted some "me" time before bed.

You have pretty much made up that he makes no effort to for dd.

That was good social cue reading from your DD. If you're going to go into someone's private space (a bedroom or office) and/or start talking to them while they're doing something solo like reading/watching a video then it's important to be aware of indicators that you're interrupting or imposing. Same with catching signals that you've drifted into talking at someone or have become overly repetitive.

You didn't say in your post how long your DD had been going on, what your DH was doing when she came in, whether they had had other interaction that day, or if DH had made more subtle attempts at wrapping things up (or hints that the two of you should go into a living space if you wanted to continue chatting). You also haven't mentioned what sort of discussion has happened around these repetitive conversations. Both DH and I are comfortable telling our teens when we want alone time (or parent time) or when it's time to move on from a topic, but I know in some families that would be unacceptably direct.

If DD is upset or you want these moments to be handled differently then talk to them both about it. But there needs to be an option other than letting DD go on as long as she pleases, and it's not always bad for a teen to realize 'whoops, I should have noticed I was imposing earlier' and be a touch chagrined.