To feel sad my dating days are over?

[greenedoore]

First off - I want to be clear that I absolutely do love my boyfriend. I am happy with him and we have a good life together. We support each other and my family like him. We had a few blips at the start, but we are pretty solid now.

I am 26 and he is 31. We have been together since I was 21. We have lived together for four of those five years.

I think 26 is still young - especially for city living. Lots of my friends are single and living the 'sex in the city' lifestyle. They go on all sorts of exciting dates, have boy drama, meet new people all the time, go out a lot. In a way - I think I am a little jealous of them. Perhaps I am sad that it looks like my dating days are over.

It is great being in a relationship and the safety that brings. But I do feel like perhaps I decided to 'settle down' a little young. It sort of saddens me, as we are both getting older/losing our good looks (!). When I was 21 and met dp, our careers were both full of potential. He is doing well but perhaps not to his potential, and seems happy at his level as I earn well.

At five years in, a few friends have joked that I have to decide if this is the guy forever.

I think that’s a natural feeling. The grass isn’t always greener!

You aren’t that into him, or you won’t be thinking this sorry

i was in the same boat as you, same age, could have written this post

i broke up with him for no other reason than ‘this can’t be my love story’, he was sad, it was pretty shit and hard- but was married 2 years later to a man who I have never doubted (met about 3 months my break up)

still madly happy and in love

no regrets

i would have had a whole family with my ex out of sheer apathy. So pleased I didn’t

You also aren’t losing your good looks. Even if you have mirrored this back to yourself, the fact that you have even jested your 31 year old boyfriend is ‘losing his looks’ shows you have the subconscious ick

Sounds like your dating years are still ahead of you because you’re clearly not that into this guy with declining looks

Think you only have to see the multiple threads on here saying how dire the dating scene is at the moment to realise you are not missing out on anything by not being single.

Losing your looks? At 26??!

Sounds like you need to dump this guy.

I am 55 and reckon I am only just losing my looks. Or are we both deluded ;-) ?

You're 26, get a grip.

You’re not into him. Break up and have a few years of fun because you’ve never done it and will always regret it - once you feel like this I don’t think it ever really goes away.

Lots of people meet young and have long and fulfilling relationships.

But If at 26, you think he’s losing his looks and you feel you have settled down too early, then my guess is you have. Honestly, you’re both still young, when you’re in your 50s you’ll at your 26 year old self ‘losing her looks’.

You’re young. Your relationship shouldn’t make you sad. Go live your life and have some fun!

You're still only 26. That's no age at all. And you've got many, many years ahead of you to do the dating thing. Are you bored with this man, that's the question? If so, there's no point staying with him. Unfortunately you can't put him in the fridge while you go off and have adventures.

You absolutely love your boyfriend, you are happy with him and you have a good life together.

Those are your words.

What the heck more do you want?

Not a good sign that you will be happy with him. You should leave and carry on dating.

I had my kids late and now happily single and don't want to date again.

Still though, the knowledge that if I wanted to I could is nice.

And that's because I never met a person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, and neither have you.

Your dating days may not be over. You don't know what your future holds

Half of all marriages end in divorce, and you could find yourself a single mother and dating again.

Especially so seeing as you re not that into this guy. You are only twenty six considerif you want to continue dating. If you were really into this guy, you wouldn't be sad.Dating was over, you d be happy and looking forward to your future. But you're not.

Do you need more in your life? Doesn't mean you have to get rid of the boyfriend. You can still go out more with friends, and change your lifestyle? It sounds like you have settled down into regular life a bit too early.

I feel similar currently but a lot older than you. So I am trying to change things without getting rid of the husband. Making more plans with friends, booking more holidays without my husband so I can just be me.

Also dating is dire out there- my single friends have all given up!

It doesn’t sound like you are still into him. Have you grown apart? Do you still want the same things? People change a lot especially in their teens/early 20s.

Fuck me. I’m 60 and just considering that I’m ‘losing my looks’.

You’re way too young to be having such thoughts. Are you really happy with your partner or are you comparing your life to that of your friends and getting FOMO?

Maybe if all your friends were settled with partners you’d feel happier in your current situation — we tend to look at what our peers are doing to orient ourselves. Maybe their current lifestyles are making you feel restless (but they’ll settle down eventually and you’ll all be in the same place).

You don’t like him, so you should break up with him. I’ve been with DH since I was 15 and I’ve never once felt like this!

I think there’s a ‘crunch’ time in relationships at about 27 years old. A lot couples either seem to split or decide to marry at that age. If they split they tend to get married to someone else fairly quickly. I think you are hurtling toward your Crunch Time.

If you feel you are missing out now it will only get worse. In a few years you will be blaming him for your missed opportunities in life and then it may be too late. Does he know how you feel?

Dating is a shit show out there! (Though was different when I was in my 20s and I was glad for my freedom and to travel and move where I wanted).

You need to get out on some fun dates with him!

You are 26. I very much doubt that you are losing your looks. I also doubt that your dating days are behind you.
I’m old now but when I was the same age as you I did enjoy dating and yes I’ll admit it, sleeping with several men.
Some might say it’s shallow but I found it fun.
You are only young once and 26 is too young to settle for someone who is ok but doesn’t excite you.
I think it would be wise to end the relationship.

You love him! You are happy with him! Go on dates with him!
Ask him out on a date, and look into his eyes, and think "This is the love of my life and I get to be with this man forever! It will be awesome!

If you are doubting your relationship choice this easily then it might be time to let it go.