To feel sad my dating days are over?

[greenedoore]

First off - I want to be clear that I absolutely do love my boyfriend. I am happy with him and we have a good life together. We support each other and my family like him. We had a few blips at the start, but we are pretty solid now.

I am 26 and he is 31. We have been together since I was 21. We have lived together for four of those five years.

I think 26 is still young - especially for city living. Lots of my friends are single and living the 'sex in the city' lifestyle. They go on all sorts of exciting dates, have boy drama, meet new people all the time, go out a lot. In a way - I think I am a little jealous of them. Perhaps I am sad that it looks like my dating days are over.

It is great being in a relationship and the safety that brings. But I do feel like perhaps I decided to 'settle down' a little young. It sort of saddens me, as we are both getting older/losing our good looks (!). When I was 21 and met dp, our careers were both full of potential. He is doing well but perhaps not to his potential, and seems happy at his level as I earn well.

At five years in, a few friends have joked that I have to decide if this is the guy forever.

I feel sad that my dating days are behind me but I’m 47 with teenagers and a long marriage. I thought you were going to say you were in your 40s.

You’ve been with the same guy since you were 21, can you really see yourself with him in 20 years time?

At your age I was living my best life, like you said the SATC lifestyle, and if you want that, you can have it. 26 is nothing, you don’t have to settle for someone you’re not 100 percent about.

You're a little jealous of your friends having "boy drama"? Considering how many MN threads are about just that, I'd say you were lucky to be in a safe and loving - if undramatic - relationship. But judging by the rest of your post, I wonder just what it is you do want...?

Why can't you go out on exciting dates with him? Why isn't your sex life with an established partner who knows you well better than their random hookups? Why don't you think he's improving with age rather than already past his peak?

Honestly, it really does sound like you're just not that into him.

And I agree with your friends. 5 years in, living together, you should know if he's your forever guy. If not, dump and move on. A guy saying that would be accused of stringing you along and just keeping you around until a better offer comes along

Maybe you don't like him that much if you feel this way. I've been with my husband since we were teenagers and now in our 30s, and I've never felt I was missing anything by meeting him earlier- quite the opposite!

If it makes you feel any better the chances of a cohabiting couple not being together after five years is 49% for unmarried cohabitators, so more or less 50/50, and then you can have another 18% onto that for a five year age gap or more. So chances are your dating days are ahead of you, not behind ; )

What is it with this generation they hit 18 and need botox hit 25 think lifes over.
There soon be talking of care homes when they hit 30.

Im 39 in December and im living to the full i love single life, traveling going out etc, if i fancy a bit sex then ill hook up no strings attached.
I do bed not dates.

Im still young im 39 not dead.

Wow you sound like a keeper, if I was him I'd get rid -this won't end well... certainly not focused on the important things in life are you ? lack of maturity for sure

If you're happy and you love him think very carefully about breaking up (I've seen a few other posters advise this!!). I've been with my husband since 21, we're both 36 now. At your age I definitely thought I was missing out... But now I feel so incredibly lucky to have him. It sounds like your life needs more excitement... Go have some adventures together and try new things

I got with my DH at 21, I had similar feelings when I was around your age. We're stronger than ever 10 years later. Maybe try and put some more effort into the relationship and liven things up a bit.

If he was the right one you wouldnt be interested in dating again.

I think your friends are right- you really need to take a decision.
My dating days were over at 18, you had a better run than I did.

I actually got the ick reading this. Losing your looks? Are you for real?!
Men and dating in 2025 are/is gross. Good luck if you decide to take that route.

If you are unhappy and it sounds like you are. Before you nuke your relationship maybe try to explore new hobbies, travel, have different types of date night ect and most definitely communicate this to your partner.
Maybe don’t bring up that you are unhappy that he is happy with his job though, that’s an inside thought, again unless you wanna nuke your relationship by verbalising that.

Am I missing something? Your dating days were over at 21, why are you suddenly thinking about this now at 26? Sounds like you may have fallen out of love with your BF? Maybe due to his ambition or maybe because you’re different people now from the people you were 5 years ago.