Xmas is fast approaching - what threads are you looking forward to?

[SantasThreeHos]

The responses to Christmas fridges - “people are dying, how dare you show us your shelves full of prosecco, chipolatas and brussels sprouts!"

Family members who cannot possibly leave their anxious goldenoodlepoo alone at home for a couple hours.

‘D’H has bought a £500 turkey carving knife, he’ll be acting like laird of the manor making a big show carving the turkey I slaved away cooking!

My favourite are the Christmas food delivery substitution threads, when instead of a 12lb Norfolk Bronze turkey and luxury Christmas pudding, Tesco sends 12 chicken nuggets and a packet of Bourbons.

Oh yes, the ones where the tree is back in the loft by everything is bleached and hoovered with no signs Christmas happened (god forbid) by a minute past midnight Christmas Day night/Boxing Day morning. The poster always seems disgusted it ever happened.

Bonus points for use of the phrase 'fresh for the new year'...

The ebay centrepiece 12 days of Christmas monstrosity is currently back up for sale at an absolute bargainous £999.99

Surely the seller must have seen the threads and is trolling us now. Surely….

Well, the weather has been relatively mild so far, but I am eagerly anticipating all the "snuggling" under a cosy blanket with a hot chocolate.

😁

Oh no thank you, snuggling and hot chocolate should be put in the bin !

Threads insisting we must say FC instead of calling the big man by his proper name - Santa 🧑‍🎄

On the bargain threads, someone will post about a glitch on a retailer’s website enabling you to order an expensive item for 10 pence. Hundreds of people rush to order the item, retailer then discovers the glitch and cancels all the orders.
Mumsnet bargain hunters have huge tantrums and declare they’re never using that retailer again and someone will mention Trading Standards.

Most memorable one involved John Lewis a couple of years ago, some poor employee cost the company tens of thousands of pounds and quite possibly had the worst day of their entire working life, the comments on that particular thread were disgusting, people had no shame.

I’m here for the secret Santa dramas and the supermarket subs.

I forgot to mention the harbinger of all the Christmas threads:

"When are you putting your tree up?"

Answers will range from "it's been up since January" right through to "11.59pm on Christmas Eve as is right and proper according to tradition..."

'AIBU not to invite racist neighbour/paedophile ex husband/malodorous uncle/ other undesirable guest for Christmas lunch' will always provoke several hundred responses insisting that no person can ever be left alone on 25 December, because apparently it causes spontaneous combustion or something.

I enjoy the “I made a twat of myself at the work do” threads, followed by everyone’s supportive stories of past exploits. Hope it’s not me this year

Christmas fridge!

Family arguments.

The threads that lack self awareness, which are basically

"why cant everything be exactly how i want it to be, why does everyone just not agree that what they want is inferior to what i want to happen."

Who's taking bets on when the 1st Christmas gift swap thread starts ?

While I think it's a great idea , especially when you have been give a jumper 4 sizes to small or 5 pairs of gloves starting the thread at 9am ( as one did a few years ago ) seems crass and ungrateful.

I also wonder if the giver is on mn and gets pissed off that there gift is kicked to the kerb so quickly.

@Coffeeishot

I absolutely agree, but I love the threads that manage to portray it as some sort of mystical, enlightening, life-enhancing "moment".

As someone who treats Christmas as an entirely optional palaver and only dips in and out every two or three years, the threads I like are where people have posted positive comments about their lovely partner or their helpful mil. Or the welcome and thoughtful presents.

A couple of years ago I was in a mountainous forest on Christmas Day. I was idly scrolling through Mumsnet while waiting for the twig stove to boil the kettle. There was so much disappointment, stress and ill feeling that I was immeasurably grateful not to be involved.

I'm assuming we'll be able to tick a few of these off the Mumsnet Christmas bingo card:

'AIBU to be hurt that DH only gave me a box of TicTacs and a half-used tube of Anusol for Christmas?'

Someone will reply to say the OP is being ungrateful and 'grabby' and someone else will say 'Could he have dementia?' or 'My DH is like this and he has ADHD'

'AIBU to think it's not in the spirit of Christmas to give cash / gift cards even when I have been repeatedly told that this is actually what the recipients would love most and get actual enjoyment out of?'

Cue loads of people saying 'YANBU, I never give cash, I'm not giving my 17-year-old niece £30 to spend on something she actually wants when I could simply choose something that I personally approve of and in which she has zero interest'.

'AIBU to not understand how people can afford to buy their kids iPhones, because I cannot accept that people have different incomes and spending habits?'

'My DH always opened presents first thing on Christmas morning when he was growing up but in my family, which is obviously far superior to his and much more important, we always give all the children a walnut at 7am and then they're allowed to open one gift every two hours, starting at precisely 3pm after lunch and church. AIBU to think that my way is much better and that DH's family are fundamentally just a bit common? I have no intention of accepting that IABU and if anyone in the replies disagrees with me, I will openly tell them that they are consumerist chavs.'

Work secret Santa drama

Christmas bonus too. There's always a competition to prove your employer is the worst.
"We don't get anything - NHS." Fair enough.
Invariably followed by "Well I got nothing and was made to give £10 to the manager's present fund". Crap.
But then someone will have to go the extra mile - "No bonus, but the CEO lined us all up to receive our festive kick in the fanny on Christmas Eve. I wasn't expecting anything at all so I mustn't grumble #blessed".

I love it all. I love the drama, the poncetastic Christmas threads, the cheeseboard debates, the cake baking threads (it was on here that I learned what stir up Sunday was) and the crazy inlaw threads. Christmas has often been a difficult time for me (not the happiest of childhoods, and that tends to kind of spill out with hosting parents and just, it's an emotional time) and one thing you can say about Mumsnet is that there's usually someone going through something similar, and even if there's not, there's enough distraction on here to get you through the day. My kids are threatening to do a tasteful Christmas tree this year (oh how times change, I remember fondly the days when pink glittery reindeer would rub shoulders with toilet roll angels and that guy from the emoji film in glass bauble form) so maybe I'll even contribute a picture.

I admit although I think it's a waste of time and money I do like the worst presents and shit secret santa presents threads. I know it's not easy to buy for people you don't know but some of it is atrocious.
The MIL's buying dustbins and frying pans never ceases to amaze me. Okay not everyone is chuffed with a box of smellies or a scented candle but at least it's not insulting. Grandparents who mean well but get bizarre gifts is pretty lovely.