To not want pets !

[Nonpetgirl]

Growing up we never had pets. Dh always had pets (loads). I’ve got allergies but just really don’t want pets and that was always fine now dh is saying the dc are missing out. I don’t think they are !

AIBU to think it’s very much like if one partner wants a baby and the other doesn’t that you then don’t have one ! Surely in this situation I get the final say ?

Do your DC want pets?

Just because you are allergic doesn’t mean it needs to impact them having pets or animals in their life. They don’t have to be ones you are allergic to, or live in the house. I’ve got coeliac disease but that doesn’t mean I get to veto the family having gluten, we just find a way around it that works.

I’ve always grown up with dogs, cats and even tortoises when young, and would find it impossible without pets, however my DH is the same so it’s all good. I think both people have to be on board for the commitment as it’s hard work at times and a financial commitment and impacts your freedom. Not sure what would have happened if I hadn’t ended up with someone as animal/pet crazy as me. Probably would have fizzled out as it’s such a huge part of who I am. However there’s nothing wrong if it’s not your cup of tea and that should be respected. Maybe a goldfish as a compromise if he’s really desperate?

i am of the 'a pet makes a house a home' mind set Im afraid.

I am with you on not getting a pet you are allergic to, or that you would end up having to care for.

However the appearance of your house? Sorry.. pardon? Its not just your house is it, it's your families home. Surely the happiness of those who live there is more important than appearance?

I have dogs, which are certainly not for everyone.

I also have dart frogs which are great - they live in a biologically appropriate viv, live plants, heating built in, mister system to keep it humid..

Yes, it was expensive to set up - but now, we just feed daily, make sure the water reservoirs are topped up, and prune the plants once every few weeks. We get to enjoy silly froggy antics (they are very comical once they know you and will come out and see you) and the tank to my mind looks pretty attractive, basically being a glass box with a living jungle inside.

I do think kids get a lot from looking after animals, and certainly better for them to learn this now than as young adults in their own first homes, where mistakes are typically made and its the animal that suffers.

Wouldn't you rather they spent time with a pet than a screen?

It doesn't have to be one or the other, you know. There are other things to do - that might be more difficult if someone always has to get home to see to the pet.

I'm pretty sure I live in a home despite the absence of mammals.

I grew up with various pets, and DH didn't. If I lived with someone keen who would whole-heartedly share the responsibility, I'd happily have some, but I wouldn't be prepared to take on the commitment, time, training and general cleaning. DS2 would like cats/ dogs. DS1 doesn't want pets. DH doesn't mind dogs but has no drive to have one. So it's not going to happen. I wouldn't want it to be a chore that falls on me. It needs to be everyone buying in to the commitment.

There's far too many people out there who take on pets that they're not prepared to invest the commitment and responsibility in. It's not good for the animals and it's not good for society.
Animals aren't a novelty accessory.

I think you are both unreasonable not to have discussed and agreed earlier in your relationship. I'm not convinced that the best compromise is everything the way you want it.

I do think that dc without pets are missing out, but all dc miss out on something.