AIBU to call a halt to babysitting?

NotSoFunThis · 2025-11-04T16:23:52+00:00

I have no children but I’m a semi regular(sometimes regular) babysitter for friends and I have been for 20 plus years. But I still have friends who have young children and are still having babies and I want to call a halt now. I’m disabled and I have increasing pain and sensory issues and I am now not very fond of children. I’ve worked in childcare too so I feel that I’ve done my time. AIBU to say that I’ll honor any commitments I’ve already made but that from next year I won’t be babysitting for anyone short of a genuine emergency e.g childbirth, hospital stay, sibling or parent goes to hospital etc?

Ellie1015 · 04/11/2025 16:25

Of course. You should absolutely do what suits you, especially if struggling/not enjoying it.

amber763 · 04/11/2025 16:25

Yeah of course you can stop babysitting if you want to for any reason at all!

Praying4Peace · 04/11/2025 16:26

Yanbu at all
Do what you want to do OP

Original poster

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

OP posts:

AnonKat · 04/11/2025 16:31

Cheeky bugger! You dont have to look after anyones children. Just say no, you dont even have to give a reason, no is enough.

PracticalPixie · 04/11/2025 16:31

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

She's very cheeky indeed then! You are not a public service or the babies' granny.

What does she even mean "it's not fair"? How rude.

Yanbu!

thepariscrimefiles · 04/11/2025 16:32

I wouldn't even mention helping out in emergencies as they may start taking advantage again. Just tell them that you aren't well enough to babysit any more.

I hope that they have been appreciative of your help over the years and that they haven't just taken you for granted.

NorthSouthEast · 04/11/2025 16:32

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

Your friend has no right to any babysitting services! Do you do this for free or do they pay you / give you gifts?

Just say you’ve done it for 20 years and you’re retiring. And don’t be guilted by anyone.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 04/11/2025 16:32

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

Well, how entitled is she! 😂

Hopefully she's taken a moment to think about what she's said and is cringing herself inside out.

thepariscrimefiles · 04/11/2025 16:34

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

JFC you're not a community service! That friend is so unreasonable and really cheeky. Put your foot down and don't let her guilt you into providing some babysitting help.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/11/2025 16:34

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

lol, it isn’t anything to do with ‘fairness’.

Please tell us they paid you op.

Dollymylove · 04/11/2025 16:35

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

Your friend having a baby late is not your problem. I do some childcare for my grandchildren and its absolutely exhausting, even without disability in the mix.
Just a question, do they pay you for your time?

Candleabra · 04/11/2025 16:35

Cheeky bitch! (Her, not you)
I hope this doesn’t turn out to be a “no good deed goes unpunished“ situation where people are angry at you stopping babysitting rather than remembering all the kind favours you’ve done for years.

blizymitzy · 04/11/2025 16:45

Please tell me they paid you for all this babysitting but I’ve got a horrible feeling you did it for love .
please don’t let anyone take advantage of you anymore

ldnmusic87 · 04/11/2025 16:46

They've been taking advantage of you.

FuzzyWolf · 04/11/2025 16:47

Your friend is a CF.

You are well within your rights to stop for any reason you like.

AxolotlEars · 04/11/2025 16:50

I wouldn't announce it, as such. Carry on with your commitments and when someone asks, say "Sorry, I can't" if they come back and ask why, say "Because I've given up babysitting"

Allmychickenscometoroost · 04/11/2025 16:53

thepariscrimefiles · 04/11/2025 16:32

I wouldn't even mention helping out in emergencies as they may start taking advantage again. Just tell them that you aren't well enough to babysit any more.

I hope that they have been appreciative of your help over the years and that they haven't just taken you for granted.

💯 this. there'll be lots of 'emergencies'. just say no more babysitting, everyone will just have to find alternatives to taking advantage of your kindness...

Catlady02 · 04/11/2025 16:53

You’re not being unreasonable at all. What is unreasonable is your friend’s comment.

MannersAreAll · 04/11/2025 16:56

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

That's just ridiculous.

If I said that my mother-in-law was "unfair" in that she babysat for my 25yoDSS and 20yo nephew far more than she did my 7yo and 6yo because she had been in a car crash and had very limited mobility and huge pain then people would, rightly, hand me my arse on a plate.

Nobody is entitled to babysitting from friends. Even if you'd just decide you couldn't be arsed anymore because you wanted to spend your events naked, eating ice cream and watching tv then that is your right.

Your friend needs to get a grip.

Electricsausages · 04/11/2025 16:57

You are not beholden to anyone,
be careful saying you will be ‘emergency’ help as they will probably say every time they want an outing will be an ‘emergency’
call it done and look after yourself

Cuppasoups · 04/11/2025 16:59

What a cheeky fxxker.
I wonder will you see these friends for dust once you stop babysitter.

Of course yanbu.

Refreshing0 · 04/11/2025 17:00

I dont babysit for anyone i dont get asked as it would be a flat out NO.

LadyKenya · 04/11/2025 17:04

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

Which means what exactly? How is your friend having a baby late, your concern?

hellowhaaat3632 · 04/11/2025 17:08

NotSoFunThis · 04/11/2025 16:29

The reason I ask is that I mentioned it to a friend who is expecting her first baby and she said that it isn’t fair on people like her who had their babies late(Nothing wrong with that but I have to call a halt sometime).

That's just ridiculous, of course you have no obligation. You've provided an amazing service for 20 years, be proud of that