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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask where would be an option to move to?

181 replies

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 13:44

We’re starting to look into moving abroad for a better lifestyle and improved safety, and I’d really appreciate any advice from those who have already moved or are considering it.

Our situation:

  • My husband is a top 1% earner.
  • I don’t currently work (child care around school) but I have a master’s degree so can look to go back into work.
  • We own a 3-bed semi-detached house with a mortgage, in an expensive area due to my husband’s job we need this location.
  • We pay privately for healthcare and for our children’s schooling.
  • We don’t receive benefits (or receive reduced child benefit).
  • We consider ourselves community-focused—we volunteer, are involved locally, and have nice children.

Despite all of this, we’re being priced out. Food costs have increased, VAT is being added to school fees, and with Rachel Reeves’ upcoming budget, it looks like we’ll be taxed even more.

We also don’t feel as safe anymore. There was a stabbing of a teenager at the end of our road—not something you expect in what’s meant to be a nice area. It’s getting worse and I’m fine to say I don’t feel safe walking the dog on my own anymore.

So, for those who have relocated or are planning to—where did you go, and why? What should we consider?
We won’t be a burden to any country we move to—our intention is to continue paying for schooling and healthcare privately and to contribute positively to the community.

No need for negative comments- we love England and are both born and bred here but it’s not the same as when we were children and I just don’t want this for our children. We know it’s time to go.

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 04/11/2025 17:16

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 13:53

French and German fluently. And happy to learn anything and will go with good language level.

Switzerland seems the obvious choice if you can get visas, can your DH work there?

mochacat · 04/11/2025 17:19

OP, I was in Melbourne fairly recently and, I have to say, it felt much more 'grotty' than when I was there 25 years ago. Graffiti, run down buildings, homelessness more visible. I feel like it's gone downhill more noticeably than London.

There are murders everywhere. The cost of living crisis is global.

I've never been to NZ and I'm sure it's beautiful, but everywhere is soooo far away. Chances are, your kids may move back to U.K. for uni or for work, and then you're stuck on the other side of the world.

We know a few multi-millionaire people who have gone to certain pockets if Portugal - Cascais area mainly. You need to prove you have a certain net wealth for a particular visa (if this scheme still operates). It does sound nice - quite an expat bubble though. When we went over, locals did have reservations that demand for all the expat villas etc had effectively priced them out of the villages and towns they grew up in.

Dubai would be very boring and vapid - in my view. 40 degrees in the middle of the night? You spend your life in malls and air con. No thanks.

Everywhere has its issues. Do you think there are no murders in NL?

Singapore has very low crime, if that's your priority?

You must have some clue where you could see yourself living?

Summerhillsquare · 04/11/2025 17:24

A cheaper option will be to go outside more, where you'll see life is going on as normal in London and elsewhere. If you are community minded volunteers then of course you know this already. When you get home look up the crime and income inequality statistics for your area. Hopefully this will make you realise how lucky you are to live in a developed, liberal democratic country.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 04/11/2025 17:25

Maybe move to a safer area in the UK? It's still one of the safest countries in th world. You could easily affo d something outside of London. If your DH has to be there for a job it's easy enough to commute if you have the money. Could he get a job in another big city? If you move abroad and he still needs to be city based you will face the same problem.

AutumnClouds · 04/11/2025 17:25

People (including OP) talking about Portugal - have you looked up the tax rates and thresholds? Portugal taxes higher than the UK (sensibly), and was very badly hit by the financial crisis, as well as starting out poorer than the UK, so those higher taxes aren’t especially buying you much better public services. I’d live there in a heartbeat and think much govt policy is unusually good but it’s like the opposite of what OP says she wants. The loss of a family of such well informed global citizens will be a sorry loss for our country. Wonder if the DH is a doctor or if he’s in NHS mis-management costing society far more than he pays in taxes.

I think Dubai is your answer OP, just remember not to let teenage children have consensual premarital relationships when they’re older.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 04/11/2025 17:30

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 13:53

French and German fluently. And happy to learn anything and will go with good language level.

I think this depends a lot on personal taste and lifestyle, but with fluent French under my belt the alps would immediately be my go-to.

fruitbrewhaha · 04/11/2025 17:54

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 04/11/2025 17:30

I think this depends a lot on personal taste and lifestyle, but with fluent French under my belt the alps would immediately be my go-to.

But France has a higher tax burden, it’s socialist. Plus the alps is hardly a cheap place to live. It’s the playground of the euro elite.

Gair · 04/11/2025 17:55

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 14:52

To reply to those asking- but I won’t continue after this other than helpful advice about emigrating as I feel like some messages are just attacking and we don’t need that.

DH works in medicine. And has transferable skills. I don’t work as my earnings are less than the childcare costs we would have so wouldn’t financially benefit at all.

We live where we do as the hospital we live by has a specialist area for the type of work he does. Mortgage is high due to this.

We are more than happy paying private health care as we use it regularly and value it in our life due to our individual needs. Same with school fees- more than happy to- our children have some additional needs so it’s brilliant for them and us.

I don’t think anyone could have predicted how much the cost of living as increased everyone’s cost- we made decisions before the cost of living , Covid , extra VAT, mortgage increases. Everything has shot up extraordinarily . our pets insurance has sky rocketed, food, school vat, our mortgage everything . We don’t have a magic pot.

safety- I can’t walk out in our area- someone was raped, kids in balaclavas fighting and this is a nice area . I’m happy to say I don’t feel safe - I did when I was a kid.

Those saying it’s a labour jab- I don’t vote conservative either . Not interested in this part- but it’s fine to say we can’t pay more it’s a fact.

thank you to those with helpful advice

Hi OP!

If your husband had been in finance/IT or some such occupation, I would have suggested Switzerland, since you are both fluent in French and German (what level of fluency are you btw? B2, C1, C2? Can you prove it?). Often English is ok for these jobs, but life is a lot easier there if you speak, read and write the local language (which in the German speaking part is actually Swiss German spoken and High German written), and necessary for dealing with local authorities/tax authority/medical visits etc. However, I do not think it is easy if you are going into a medical role. He would need at least C1, but more likely C2 (well educated native) level of German or French. He would also need to have his qualifications recognised and possibly need to pass extra exams which takes time and money. Also, is there a shortage of his speciality? The same will be the case in most countries for anyone practicing medicine.

Switzerland is a great country to raise children, but can be a bit boring unless you are very outdoorsy/sporty. In the Swiss German speaking part (of which I have extensive experience), the people are very very slow to warm to you, so unless you are happy to be stuck in an expat bubble (and quietly disliked for it by many locals) it's best to integrate asap - this could still take a while. However, if you're both keen to get involved in community stuff, there's lots of sports clubs and other societies that are desperate for people to help run them (this has gotten worse in the last 20 years or so, since the one earner model is also no longer possible except for the richest, so working age people have less time to spare than previously, so that's a good way in. So between fewer SAHMs (and it used to be always mothers, and still is to a very great degree), and longer acceptable commutes, this unifying aspect of Swiss communities (think all important Turnverein etc) is on shakier foundations nowadays.

A big downside is that you could be financially worse off. Renting in the areas with most jobs (but this might be different if you are going to work in a hospital in a less economically wealthy part of the country) makes the pips squeak! If you have no capital/savings, then you will not yet be in a position to buy. Even cheaper parts of the country are expensive by UK standards. Also the pound has lost a lot against the Swiss Franc in the past 5+ years, so GBP savings won't go as far there. If you were planning on putting your kids into the generally good local schools, this might actually be ok. If you plan to continue with private schooling, I do not think you are well off enough tbh. Switzerland also (still) has household based taxation for married couples, which is disadvantageous when both partners work - to the extent that we have friends who had a wedding party but did not get married! I still feel miffed that I paid out for a posh hotel stay and gift and travelled with a young baby but that they then chose not to make it official to save some tax - especially since I had to pay the tax!

How many children do you have? What age are they? Are they fluent in a language other than English? What is their ALN? We actually moved back to the UK from Switzerland some years ago. I know, mad! My DH wanted to move here, and it was the best time with DC age in mind. It became apparent that DC has ALN (ND), and while it has been a major battle to get diagnosis, identify needs, try to get them met (mainstream LA school), we are getting somewhere now. When the battle seemed insurmountable, we looked into moving back to Switzerland (or somewhere else better served in the UK), but realised they were very far behind UK on this sort of thing, and found similar to be true of Germany as well. The education system in Switzerland is excellent if you have standard issue kids, but woe betide you if you don't! Also remember that as things stand, if you intend for your DC to attend uni in the UK, you will be liable for overseas fees (and no loan) unless they have been uk resident for 3 years prior to enrollment. That's a lot of cash to come up with if you are capital poor.

May I suggest an alternative way to solve your COL/safety concerns? Why don't you stay in England, but move to a much cheaper and safer area? Many rural/economically deprived areas are desperate for medical specialist. It's certainly true where I live. If you could get work too, it might be possible for your DH to put the part of his salary over £100k into pension, and as long as you are paid under £100k (or put what's over into pension) you could get a certain amount of free childcare - if this is what's making it difficult for you to be employed (this works in England, but not Wales, where criteria is £100k gross not net). There are plenty of really lovely places to live in England outside the S.E., so why not choose one of those?

I also lived long term in East Asia, and it is a very different world. The language challenges are also at another level for most people. I speak/read/write the language of where I lived, but I stood out like a sore thumb, and that never goes away. It was a wonderful experience, but I would not have wanted to do it with DC for many reasons including the effect of pollution on development.

I am happy to discuss further if you wish to PM me.

Mangetouts · 04/11/2025 18:00

If your husband is a top 1% earner and you can't afford to live in the UK then there's something badly wrong with your money management skills.

However, in the spirit of the post and assuming you want somewhere vaguely civilised, Singapore? Japan?

Barney16 · 04/11/2025 18:11

Have you thought about staying in the UK but moving away from London OP? It's scarily expensive and there are lots of beautiful places in the UK where you would feel safer and your money would go further. Excellent schools too. If that's not an option I would suggest Ireland, especially as you have an Irish passport.

cestlavielife · 04/11/2025 18:15

Having a masters does not get you a job... experience does. Do you have professional ex perience?

Why not take some long breaks in your shortlist country and drawxup pros and cobs
No one can decide where you should chooose to go for you

Rewis · 04/11/2025 18:16

If you already are top 1% and have priced yourself out from UK, I'm not sure western europe/aus/NZ is the answer. The COL is high and income is not going to be (significantly) more than he is currently making. In cheaper countries he will be making less money, but I can't think of a place where the relationship with cost of living and income will be significantly different compared to 1% and UK col.

But my first feeling was Norway. That's where all my nurse friends moved. The next up would be Netherlands. I also really enjoy Austria. Then from Asian countries Singapore, Malaysia. I know a lot of my fellow physios and nurses went to UAE and Saudi Arabia

TheAutumnalCrow · 04/11/2025 18:24

randomchap · 04/11/2025 13:59

A thinly disguised Labour bashing thread. All the hits. High tax, tax on private education, feeling unsafe, etc

Yup.

#SadTimesForThe1%

StepawayfromtheLindors · 04/11/2025 18:31

Where is the OP anyway? Queuing at the food bank because 185k is a struggle to live off?

GloriaMonday · 04/11/2025 18:33

She's probably just busy.

Jamesblonde2 · 04/11/2025 18:37

JacquesHarlow · 04/11/2025 13:54

Despite all of this, we’re being priced out.

Priced out of what, exactly?

Food costs have increased, VAT is being added to school fees and with Rachel Reeves’ upcoming budget, it looks like we’ll be taxed even more.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel you need to keep even more of your wealth, so you can afford all the discretionary services you feel you're entitled to, inexorably, forever.

Sincerely, another fellow "1% top earner" who doesn't have an issue with paying tax.

You’re not really answering the OPs question. If you’re happy, you stay and do you.

sesquipedalian · 04/11/2025 18:39

OP, have you considered somewhere like Singapore? Ex-pats I know who’ve lived there have loved it.

Oabrbjr · 04/11/2025 18:44

I would consider Norway. The language is Germanic and I would say one of the languages that is not too difficult for a native English person who can also speak German.

I would also consider Canada, New Zealand and Dubai.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 04/11/2025 18:59

fruitbrewhaha · 04/11/2025 17:54

But France has a higher tax burden, it’s socialist. Plus the alps is hardly a cheap place to live. It’s the playground of the euro elite.

Maybe I missed it, I didn’t realise OP was specifically looking for low tax destinations.

My family is by no means part of the euro elite and they live very comfortably in the alps. I honestly find it the best of both worlds: high quality of life in the mountains and when you feel like it you can drive down easily to the seaside.

Tearosepadstow · 04/11/2025 19:31

Hmmm, you want better education, safer streets and improved health care but you also want less taxes. You could try Never Never land?

CraftyGin · 04/11/2025 19:35

Not sure if the OP will come back as the thread is getting a bit messy.

OP, you have asked about experience of living abroad. You haven't mentioned the USA, but that is where we lived for six years, so I will give you my views.

Firstly, it looks like safety is an important thing for you, and you probably already know that nowhere in the USA is safe. Things like school shootings pop up in the most benign communities.

As far as your DH's employment opportunities, you have said he works in medicine, in quite a narrow field. You haven't said whether he is a clinical doctor or a researcher. Either way, you will want to be near a big teaching hospital. Most of these are in inner city areas where you wouldn't necessarily want to live. That would push you into the suburbs.

American cities have pretty much been tarmacked over, so you need to drive everywhere. Your kids won't be independent until they can drive themselves. For schools, independent schools are few and far between, and international schools really rare. You can pick a decent school district by living in a swanky suburb (that's what we did). You will probably find that your kids have a fairly idyllic childhood in a nice subdivision, eg they can ride their bikes around, play hockey in the street, or capture the flag around the neighbourhood. Your neighbours will be very nice too.

As for general culture - racism is tangible, police are scary, TV is awful, culture revolves around shopping. Fentanyl.

Apart from shootings and racism, a lot of this would apply to Canadian cities too.

SpanThatWorld · 04/11/2025 19:37

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 13:58

We’re wondering new Zealand or Australia - though is very far to come back. But he can do his job there with no problems transferring

Off you pop, then.

I'm sure that there are no taxes in Australia or New Zealand and noone has ever been stabbed there.

ResusciAnnie · 04/11/2025 19:38

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 14:16

Yes we both speak fluent German- thank you for the suggestion- and insight. That might be a good option and they have international schools

Yes I know a few people who were very happy around Munich. They’re back in the UK now. Personally I would go Canada or some European countries as Australia and NZ are SO far away (have you been?) and IMO not worth it. We have the same household income and similar situation re money coming in and going out. We absolutely do not private school though - can’t afford it, doesn’t sound like you can either?

(Also we feel incredibly safe and happy where we live, 40 mins to London. Go if you want to but why do you feel you have to emigrate? There are lovely areas in the UK).

Natty13 · 04/11/2025 19:41

Tearosepadstow · 04/11/2025 19:31

Hmmm, you want better education, safer streets and improved health care but you also want less taxes. You could try Never Never land?

I have a sibling who lives in a Scandinavian country with astronomical taxes. They do have a better quality of life than we do in the UK (we as in my family) with similar professions.

People love to raise the argument that better public services means paying more in tax to pay for them but nobody ever responds to the points raised that there are many people in this country who can work, yet have the attitude of "why should I?" Personally I would rather pay higher tax and have benefits reserved for those who actually need them (disabled people and their carers for a start) rather than pay more in income tax to pay for people who don't believe they should get off their arses And go to work each day. Countries like that do exist and we are looking into which is the best one for us to move to.

I'm far, far from economically conservative. But have met far too many people who boast how they "cheat the system" and teach their adult kids to do the same. Yeah it's super fun to work 60h a week in healthcare knowing I'm paying for someone else's coke habit.

Wheretogotonow · 04/11/2025 19:43

Tearosepadstow · 04/11/2025 19:31

Hmmm, you want better education, safer streets and improved health care but you also want less taxes. You could try Never Never land?

Nope I didn’t say less taxes. I’m saying in England we’re going to being taxed more and not getting anything back. Every month we’ll be poorer. I’m Happy to pay high taxes for something in return. At the moment there’s mis spending and it’s affecting people’s day to day lives. NHS isn’t great, our school system isn’t great (I say that as a teacher in state schools before I gave up work). More than happy to contribute to a well working system but we pay private health care to see a GP as we can’t get anywhere near ours!

Not saying either that any political party in England are better- it’s not a political post- there all equally bad but it’s fine to say this isn’t for us anymore!

OP posts:
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