How much value do you place on being able to pick your kids up from school?

[youdrive85]

Weighing a couple of job options up. DC starting school in September. How much value do you place on being able to do pick ups at 3ish (and how many times a week) vs after school club etc.

In Reception DS was exhausted by 3.15pm - after he fell asleep on the carpet at after-school club a couple of times, we rejigged our working hours so one of us could collect him and bring him home at 3.15pm every day. We are extremely fortunate that we could do that, though - if we weren't both fairly senior and able to wfh when needed we wouldn't have been able to do that.

Now DS is in Y3, we use after school club 2-3 times per week till 4.30pm, and it works well (DS can just curl up with his book if he's tired).

It was really important at primary school. I worked evenings and Saturdays so I could do drop offs and pick ups

2 days breakfast and after school

2 days work is flexible and I work into the evening anyway

1 day non working day

it’s a good balance but it’s just my job / company I work for has an excellent flexibility policy

Same here my dd needs me more now aged 13 then she did when younger

I miss it. We lived in a village less than 10 mins walk from school. It was my favourite part of the day, doing school runs, and spending a few minutes with my child.

He needed a specialist school though so now he’s in a taxi for 45 mins each way. It’s the best thing for him for school but I think we’ve lost something too.

I pick up 3 days a week, gives enough opportunities for play dates, after school activities like swimming so the weekend can be free or just lazy afternoons to watch TV.

2 days they do after school club / dd1 comes home alone as she is secondary school now.

I wouldn’t want to have to use after school club every single day. I think it’s good if you can pick up occasionally to socialise with other parents. It also limits what other after school activities DC can do, if you’re not available to take them.

My DD didn’t enjoy after school club, and she only went two or three days a week, I think that was mostly about not having any friends there. A child who goes every single day would probably find it easier to make friends.

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, admittedly mine didn’t go to after school club though but did have family picking up most of the time. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not picking up.

It’s very important to me. It does come at a (financial) cost though and I’m conscious in the future for all I know they might say they’d have preferred the money!

I do also think it depends on the school. Not many children stay in after school clubs at our school and they only go on until 430 anyway.

It was really important for us and our daughter that one of us was able to take her to school in the morning and pick her up after school. She always came out of school bursting with things that she wanted to share ablut her day, and we then had a couple of hours to sit and play every evening before dinner.

My eldest is super sociable and loved after school club.
I have always worked full time and was in the office in those days. He had a great time.
My youngest hates it, hates too many people and unstructured play, I have had to take work from home jobs so I can pick him up.
I do love the after school clubs though, they are free play, loads of fun activities and like a play date with snacks.
If your child is the type to enjoy playing with friends then you might find she loves it.
They make friends from all years and become more well known across the school when they go. It has a lot of benefits, not just the fact you can have wrap around care.

DD hated ASC. She went twice a week but we would collect her earlier if we could. I prioritised taking her to school as it seemed better for her to start the day well.

It’s important to me but I do have to use before and after school club twice a week.

Personally I would sacrifice a lot to do drop offs and pick ups. But everyone is different.

For me it was important that I did school pick up sometimes, but I was happy with a mix of wraparound and 3.30 pick up.

DD is year 2 now. Sometimes it's just been Friday pick up. Now it's 2 nights a week plus a friend picks her up and takes her to a sport club once a week. Then 2 after school clubs.

When she was in after school club 4 nights a week I tended to pick her up "early" (by 4.30) most of the time although she did have some later pick ups.

Kids will get used to whatever routine you go for.

I do pick up twice a week and drop offs three times a week. LOVE my pick up days, the happy face when DD sees me, the enthusiasm at showing me what she's made, the chatter on the walk home etc.

I would say if you have options then try to allow for a couple a week :)

Ours were picked up by a childminder 3 days per week, and by DH twice a week, eventually me as well once a week when I went down to 80%. It is great if you can manage one day, to see them in the school environment etc, and it’s really nice to be able to do an after school thing like a play date or swimming lessons or something. But it’s not always possible, and if the after school club is good, it’ll be fine, plenty of other children there too. It’s much more chilled than school time.

Ours talk all about their days, but later when we’re eating, not straight after.

Very important. I'm a SAHM, oldest 3 are in school, toddler is in nursery full time and baby is home with me, occasionally in nursery. I only use afterschool clubs for when I want or need 1:1 time with a child, usually for a trip to get a hot chocolate or for the dentist. School pick up is my favourite time of day by far. My ultimate priority when deciding what to do with my time.

None. My DD isn’t at all bothered, she likes wraparound as she’s really sociable and prefers playing with friends to coming home. She went to nursery 7.30-5.30 (4 days) from 13 months so the school day is similar although she actually does 2 shorter days now (9-4.30) and 3 that are 7.45-5.30.

On the rare day I get to pick her up at school finish she is not the least bit grateful as she just wants to watch TV. Cooking club, lego club, drama club etc is all much better for her.

Might be less important as they get older, but my eldest is in Y1 now and DH or I pick him up from school 3x a week - the other days he is either in after school club or at sports club.

Those days when we pick up are really helpful for us, not just because DS1 might get tired and ratty otherwise, but because it's the main time we get to hear from his teacher if there have been any concerns during the day, and also a chance to chat to other parents.

There are a few kids in his class who go to wraparound care every day or near to it, and I've heard those parents complain that they don't get to know who their kids are friends with as much, or talk to the teachers.

It probably depends how important those aspects are to you, and what the majority of families at your kids' school do.

For me, I am grateful I am able to work around school and do pick up. My kids are always shattered by 3:30 and wouldn’t want to stay in at school any longer, they want to come home and crash. I also wanted to have that experience as a parent.

That being said, if our situation was different I would absolutely use that resource if needed.

I like doing it. Before school DS was in nursery and I'd pick him up about 6pm 3 times a week - I felt quite bad about those long days. He doesn't remember nursery and I've done the school runs throughout primary - I see it as a privilege.

My parents never did the school run and I felt jealous of friends who had mums waiting for them at the gate. It's not scarred me or anything, I'm just happy I'm getting to do it with my DS. He's my only child and now in year 6, primary has gone by in a flash!

I don’t get this as DD does all of that when I pick her up at 5pm?! What difference does it being 3.30 make to smiles, talking about the day etc?

@FancyCatSlave

Because she's fresh out of school, seeing friends in the playground, excitement of seeing me rather than going off with the childminder. By the time I pick up at 5pm from the child minders she is usually tired, whingy, we have to get into the car rather than walking which is a disconnect to me and we don't have the same quality time as our walk home because it's the stressy part of the day to get home and get dinner cooked / fed etc.

To me it is a massively different feel from picking up at school to picking her up from the child minder.

I get to go home with her, we have time to do homework together and chill before the busy evening.

That's my opinion and that's what the OP asked for.

Well, I get that it’s a rhetorical question and I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but I do think there’s a massive difference between 330 and 5, especially for young children. They are tired, an hour and a half is a long time and they are winding down.

But tbf my DS tells me nothing about his day!