Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To insist on coat or blanket from car seat to house with 6 month baby?

145 replies

untitled1 · 02/11/2025 22:00

It’s 7°C outside and DS (6 months) needed to go from house to car, about 20 metres. He was wearing a cotton bodysuit/onesie with no vest underneath.

I thought he needed a coat/blanket and hat even for that short distance, especially as he’s just getting over a chest infection.

DH thought it was fine for such a short trip and that I was being over the top. He took DS out as he was- no hat, no coat, no blanket.

Am I being overprotective? Do babies really need full outdoor clothing for literally 30 seconds outside? Or is it important even for very short distances?

Is this something worth insisting on or am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
untitled1 · 03/11/2025 09:55

@Ophy83you are right. Things were even worse when baby was newborn

OP posts:
untitled1 · 03/11/2025 10:04

@Shamesameno not sure what you mean

OP posts:
QuantumPanic · 03/11/2025 10:29

I think it's fine. Vest in the house is ok too, imo. My baby is happiest crawling around in just a vest and no socks! They generally let you know if they're dissatisfied in some way.

Breakfast is a tricky one - obviously you're the one bf-ing, so it's up to you imo. But I found not offering milk in the morning and going straight to breakfast did help my baby eat a lot more solid food. Didn't help her sleep through the night, though!

watermybegonias · 03/11/2025 10:35

Shamesame · 03/11/2025 09:53

I must be a neglectful mother because it wouldn’t occur to me to add layers to a sleeping baby for a short walk from a car to a front door if I’m carrying them.

Me neither - my body warmth is enough for that short distance.

Tourmalines · 03/11/2025 10:36

untitled1 · 03/11/2025 09:53

@Tourmalinesexample, DH has dry skin patches but still insists keeping him in bath for half hour stints and ‘forgets’ to put his cream on him.

Half hour is too long . That’s one you need to be firm with .

Btowngirl · 03/11/2025 10:44

untitled1 · 03/11/2025 09:32

I want to clarify - we had a blanket right there and a hat that I bought right for this reason!! I didn’t expect him to put the coat on, in my OP I said coat/blanket meaning either or. As in drape the coat around him.

He also regularly doesn’t put a vest on DS, I have to enforce it and despite me asking him to he doesn’t see the point and just says it’s warm enough.

the bigger context is - yes I do micromanage but that’s because he often does things that I believe are not on DS best interest but he is a very strong, assertive type of character so it is VERY difficult parenting with him.

he would never googling things, go to classes etc just thinks because everyone manages to bring up kids he’s not daft so doesn’t need to learn.

Another example, DS is not even seven months yet but keeps feeding him solids doesn’t give bottle in the morning because wants him ok solids asap so he sleeps through the night. I try explaining milk is main source of nutrition until 1 because I have taken time to research but he won’t listen.

Op, you & your husband need to work together. Giving food before a bottle in the morning is completely fine.. likewise DD hardly wore vests this time last year as she was a really sweaty baby & we had really warm & good layers for if she was in the bassinet out & about. There is a lot in parenting that’s subjective and intimately, working against eachother is only going to negatively affect all 3 of you.

Btowngirl · 03/11/2025 10:49

Btowngirl · 03/11/2025 10:44

Op, you & your husband need to work together. Giving food before a bottle in the morning is completely fine.. likewise DD hardly wore vests this time last year as she was a really sweaty baby & we had really warm & good layers for if she was in the bassinet out & about. There is a lot in parenting that’s subjective and intimately, working against eachother is only going to negatively affect all 3 of you.

Ultimately** not intimately!!

CanadianHobbit · 03/11/2025 11:01

I live in Canada where it gets to be between -10C and -20C for several months of the year. I never put a blanket / jacket on my baby for trips from the house to the car, even when it’s -15C. It’s 20 seconds. The car is warm. Babies don’t freeze instantly. They will be fine.

dullgreysky · 03/11/2025 11:08

Surely it would take longer than 30 seconds stood at the door of the car taking his coat off him again in order to put him in the car seat, or do you somehow manage to get both you and the baby into the back seat of the car and shut the door with his coat on, before removing the coat to strap him into his car seat? Or is 30 seconds stood next to the car removing his coat somehow better than walking 30 seconds to the car?

massiveregret · 03/11/2025 11:15

EleanorReally · 03/11/2025 07:31

well i would,
brr, poor baby having a sudden shock of cold

exactly

FunMustard · 03/11/2025 11:52

I don't think a blanket is needed for that trip, but it's clearly indicative of your general distrust of your husband. And from your description, I don't blame you.

How lazy and selfish do you have to be to refuse a second layer for your baby because YOU think it's "fine"? To consistently "forget" to moisturise the dry patches of skin on your baby? The food thing is fine - but again, I can see that if he's slack on other things, you'd be on edge about others.

This is the sort of thing that husband's need to get in their heads. He's purposely doing something that upsets you, when it would have no impact at all for him to do it. But he'd rather rail against you like a tween testing boundaries. Reminds me of when my husband asked me if I'd mind not using the same teaspoon to stir his tea as my coffee, as he could taste the coffee. Did I roll my eyes? Sure. But I still don't do it anymore, as it's no skin off my nose even though I might think it silly. The fact he's ok with his baby potentially being uncomfortable just so he can not bother to do basic things for his baby is ridiculous.

LifesQuestions · 03/11/2025 11:56

I don't think you are being unreasonable especially as he's getting over a chest infection and has no vest on underneath. I would either take baby up in the car seat with blanket on top or carry baby in my arms with a hat and blanket or inside my coat.

untitled1 · 03/11/2025 13:36

@FunMustardyou have hit the nail on the head. I couldn’t have worded things better myself, absolutely.

it’s general distrust for him because he often seems to do things to make HIS life easier not ds.

going back to the hat situation, he gets angry at the thought of hat. He will never put a hat in unless forced.

another example we were on holiday and ok it was autumn sunshine type weather but very sunny. Because I put a hat on he took it off, I put sunscreen on baby he got angry at me: it’s like he gets angry at things that have no harm to anyone except me trying to do what’s best even if it isn’t always.

he says he doesn’t want DS to grow up soft and I explains he’s a BABY

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 03/11/2025 16:20

he needs some parenting classes op, he sounds appalling from your description

notagainyoufool · 04/11/2025 07:41

I’d wrap a blanket around him, I have a similar aged baby and do this every morning when we take my ds to school.

Mouthfulofquiz · 04/11/2025 07:48

I was going to come on and say that the blanket / coat thing was no big deal, and I probably wouldn’t have bothered but I think you have a bigger picture issue. You perceive that your husband doesn’t care about the baby as much as you do - the answer is provably to have a very honest and non confrontational discussion about why this is causing you BOTH an issue. He’s probably feeling like nothing he ever does is good enough, and you’re feeling like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. ‘Twas ever thus.

untitled1 · 04/11/2025 14:05

@Mouthfulofquizwe discussed it. He said it’s illogical to put blanket round and he isn’t doing it. Just like he can’t be bothered to put cream on babies cheeks they are very rough and he has eczema in them. I just don’t get it…

OP posts:
Zippedydodah · 04/11/2025 14:28

Dear god, wtf you ever had a child with him?
If you’re squabbling like this now goodness knows what you’ll be like in a couple of years time. You sound totally incompatible as parents, each trying to get one up on the other; poor little baby is being used like a pawn.

Amba1998 · 04/11/2025 14:30

He should have had a vest on and a blanket

buy more blankets if the one you use is being washed

coats are a no no in the car

you don’t get ill from being in the cold. You need an actual virus

cornbunting · 04/11/2025 15:09

The more you post, the more your OP makes sense. As an isolated incident, DH did nothing wrong, but in the context of repeatedly discounting/belittling your opinion and putting his own preferences ahead of his son's needs, I'm really wondering why you are still with him at all. It must be immensely stressful, and who is benefiting from this relationship? Just DH, not you, and not your son.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page