To think there must be more to life than working all week and then spending the weekend doing housework and chores?

[DBD1975]

Please don't get me wrong I watch the news and count my blessings.

I have a roof over my head, food on the table, running water and electricity and, whilst we have a very modest lifestyle, my partner and I can pay the bills and we aren't struggling to make ends meet (unlike a lot of people who are a lot less fortunate).

However, I have a very busy and pressurised job which takes up my time and energy during the week so household chores tend to get left until the weekend.

I have spent the majority of this weekend doing housework as shower room needed a deep clean as did the bathroom and kitchen. General tidying up in other rooms (small 3 bedroom house).

Loads of washing, sorting out the airing cupboard and now faced with a pile of ironing.

The drudgery just seems never ending as, due to some health issues, housework, chores and cooking take me longer to do.

My partner does his bit but works harder than me during the week and also has caring responsibilities for a parent so doesn't have a lot of time at the weekend.

Am I being unreasonable to think there must be more to life than this?

Genuinely interested as well in any labour saving hacks or electrical appliances which have taken the hard work out of housework for you.

My best purchase has been a robotic hoover which means the house gets hoovered every day which has made a huge difference. We couldn't justify the cost of a cleaner as when I last looked into this they wanted £20 an hour, which is roughly what I earn per hour (after tax).

There IS more to life for us. Chores and housework don't take up that much time for us.

We are only 2 people - no kids- which obviously makes a massive difference.

I do about 2 loads of washing a week. My husband does an online food shop. We get the dog walked between us.

We never actually "do the cleaning" as such, but our home always looks lovely.

Everything has a place, we don't own too much stuff and have zero clutter, and I clean as I go - I'll brush my teeth and grab the cleaning sponge and give the sink a quick clean, or I'll use the toilet and then give it a scrub and a wipe over with bleach. I can honestly say I've never deep cleaned a bathroom in my life.
Same with the kitchen - we wipe round after we've made each meal, and through the week we keep meals quick and easy and ensure they don't create lots of washing up, and we tend to cook for 2 days at a time.
We have a wall mounted stick hoover in the hallway and hoover up bits as we need to - we never hoover the whole house all in one go.
I tidy the living room every night before going to bed, and give the kitchen sides a final spray and wipe over while i let the dog out.
We never clean the windows, and change our bedding when we can be bothered.
Ive got a relatively demanding job, but I don't give it a thought after 5.30pm.

I go to the gym in the evenings, and we use our weekends enjoying our home and the national park that we live in.
Dont get me wrong - it's not idyllic, but I never get that "hamster on a wheel" feeling.

As soon as we could afford to we got a cleaner and then I dropped to 4 days a week (and kept the cleaner). I have much nicer work life balance now. When we're talking about making savings on our expenditure, the cleaner is never mentioned due to the amount of joy it brings to our lives!

A good steam generator iron
mine was £190 cuts ironing time in 1/2

Try the organised mum method by Gemma Bray, totally free
I have a really really fragile back and bad bad knee, its really achievable

Honestly op without children in the house I don't see how a whole weekend can be eaten up by housework. I don't iron tbh. We have a steamer we use for individual items when they need it. I wash, tumble dry then a very haphazard 'fold' and in to a drawer or hung up in the wardrobe I can't remember the last time I cleaned the inside of my windows, it's just not important. There's no reason two adults couldn't blitz a normal sized house in 2 hours of they set the time aside on a weekend day, the rest used to relax or hobbies or whatever

I felt exactly like you. I even used the word drudgery when I told DP I was sick of it and I wasn't doing it anymore. So, I put my headphones on, pick some music and clean for two hours once a week. That's it, I do no more. Life's too short. I go to the gym in the time I have saved.

Is this handheld steamer or something else x

Thanks some good advice here.
I do tend to put quite a lot in the washing machine in one go.
We both work from home so we are always in the house.
When I used to go out to work I definitely didn't notice what needed doing at home so much.

I voted YANBU initially but changed it.

I think your standards are simply too high for you to be able to be happy and actually live life.

You've not got kids so that's a huge amount of housework less than most people. I think you might be finding work that many would ignore/not see in favour of living life.

I know that's easier said than done but you need to prioritise living over an immaculate house since trying to achieve the immaculate house clearly isn't making you happy.

Good luck!

Lower your standards. Get a cleaner. Stop ironing!

I haven’t used an iron in 18 years except by exception for a special occasion needing it. But I tumble stuff. Don’t care if kids uniforms aren’t pristine as long as clean.
get a cleaner
( I have two messy teens)
or lower your standards

I bet you have too much stuff just have a massive Swedish death clean, no fannying about picking at the edges just get rid. People get too attached to possessions.

How often do you wash stuff? Unless you work down a coal mine or sweat a lot your stuff can be worn for a while

When there are just two of you in a house it is very easy and I write that as someone who also has chronic pain.

Genuinely can’t understand what you’re doing with your time without kids. You probably own too many things. A good rule of thumb is you likely need to halve what you own, then halve it again. Everyone owns too much stuff.

Like other posters, I also don’t iron. My work dresses are a style that don’t need ironed. I don’t even iron my son’s polo shirts through the winter as he doesn’t take his jumper off anyway! Slacken off on what you think you need to do.

Even with a young child we don’t spend weekends doing any housework beyond a load of laundry, washing dishes, and maybe running the hoover round the house.

A cleaner doesn't just come out of your salary - why aren't you including your partner's too?

Wear natural fibre fabrics that need a lot less washing. Shower before bed so bed sheets need less washing. Buy a handheld steamer to give clothes a quick steam and ditch the iron.

Declutter and drop your standards. Honestly you’re wasting your life. No one ever died from having a slightly dirty house. Lots of people only deep clean before they have guests over.

Cleaner is the best investment we’ve made as a family DH, me and DD. Have health issues too so it has lightened the housework load to enable us to have more time as a family on the weekends. Definitely consider it OP I felt very indulgent the first few weeks but now it’s become normal for us

Get a cleaner once a month to do the windows, deep clean the bathroom, clean skirting boards, clean the oven, wipe down the fridge interior, etc - you do not need to put yourself through all of that exertion if you have a health condition that causes you pain and limits what you can do.

Once a month should keep the big, physically demanding jobs done pretty well.

And if you had a tumble dryer you would cut down massively on the labour involved in laundry. Clothes can be taken out of the dryer and immediately folded crisply. It's much less labour intensive than wash, hang up, take down, iron...

I have chronic pain and a load of health issues.

i have a cleaner weekly. She cleans the whole house (to what I would consider a deep clean standard) in two hours.

it’d take me weeks, if I could do it at all.

get a cleaner.

Sometimes it can get overwhelming OP, I know. If all else fails, try the Advert Olympics. Watch something you enjoy on tv on a commercial channel. While you watch the programme, chop some vegetables, fold some underwear or something. When the adverts come on, dash round (as far as you can) doing other jobs, dusting, putting things away etc. For extra efficiency, sit on your folded sheets etc during the programme, ("camping ironing"), and enrol your partner as well.

It can be quite amusing, and at least you're getting something done! 😄

totally agree with you - do you have dc, how old if yes?

after maternity I went back 4 days owe so less ££ but worth it to have a ‘free day’ while kids at school and helpful in half term!

The secret of being a non ironer is to buy clothes that dont need ironing

Yeah i mean something has to give and that's what you've prioritised! My house looks like a bomb hit it quite a lot because I prioritised doing other things.
I want to actually visit places and experience things other than just cleaning and laundry.
Unfortunately unless you are wealthy enough to employ a cleaner, you have to make a choice between your house being pristine and actually living sometimes.
I mean did your shower really 'need' a deep clean? It sounds like that's something you think is important and have chosen to do.
I do bare minimum cleaning honestly. Unless I've got guests coming. I'd rather spend my time in other ways. Life is too short.

I do 5 minunte fresh ups as and when I can throughout the week where I set an alarm for 5 mins and gey as much done in that room as I can. If things take you longer then maybe 10 minutes at a time. I have 2 young children but I would not be spending my weekend cleaning. Perhaps an hour at most. We go out visiting, walks or do bigger events at the weekend.

I am in the same boat and we got a robot hoover/mop which is amazing. My other tip is a karcher window vac. Does a great job of windows and shower screens and really speeds up the whole process.