Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH talking about moving but I don't want to.

52 replies

AhBiscuits · 02/11/2025 09:58

DH has come into some money and thinks we should move and buy a bigger house. I think our house is big enough. Since living here we have converted the loft and extended. There isn't really anything else we can do to increase space. We have 2 kids who are 8 and 10. They each have their own large bedroom, as do we, and we have a box room which is my office. He wants a 5 bed so that we can also have a guest room / room where he can put exercise equipment and just generally to have more space. The location of our house is perfect and I don't think we'd find somewhere else that ticks all the boxes this house does, space aside. Even if we did find this unicorn house, I just can't be arsed with it. The moving, the redecorating, you can guarantee that we'll want a different kitchen and/or bathroom. I hate living in a building site. What if the neighbours are dicks? I like our neighbours, we have a nice community. Why do we have to be constantly looking to upgrade? My brother bought his house at 25, has never moved and had paid off his mortgage by 50. That seems like a good thing to do to me.
I'd rather invest the money and give it to the children for their houses when they are looking to buy.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 04/11/2025 22:07

AhBiscuits · 04/11/2025 21:57

Our bedroom is very big and has a rowing machine and exercise bike in it. It wouldn't really work swapping my office to the bedroom because I start work early and he's usually in the bedroom getting ready. Would make for some interesting Teams calls.

Honestly I think he's feeling a bit jealous of his brother, who has moved into a lovely huge house. BIL and wife are high earners. We aren't, we are average earners but comfortable enough. DH likes our house but thinks the grass is greener.

Do you have significant savings, enough to keep you for a year? Do you have good life insurance to pay off any mortgage? What sort of pensions do you have?

Sounds like he is wanting to keep up with the Joneses and is framing it as "its best for the family" so you need to come up with a list of reasons why it would be better for the family to invest the money. Look at the money, look at the cost of this mythical perfect house, look at a rough value of your house currently. Then add on the cost of stamp duty, moving, conveyancing. Present him with the figures including what any new mortgage payments would be. I bet he will soon realise that his plan may not be as good for the family as he thinks if it totally wipes out all your money.

OursonGuimauve · 04/11/2025 23:22

Does he have any space in the house that's his? Box room is your office, garden is for the kids and wedged full of their stuff, is there any way any part of it can be somewhere for him? I wouldn't underestimate how shit it can be to not have space of your own (paired with even money you have come into being ear marked to give to your kids and not something you can use to make your own life better)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread