Is this greedy?

[ellie09]

DP and I decided to have a "pig out" night while watching some TV last night.

I went out and bought some snacks - he then was out and about and brought home some chocolate for us to share.

He had commented that he bought this chocolate because he knows its my favourite. It was one of those big share bars.

Now, there was quite a lot of snacks so I said we should save some for another day and it happened to be the chocolate he had bought.

Went looking for this chocolate today as fancied a bit with a cuppa tonight, and couldn't find it, so asked DP had he put it away.

DP tells me he ate it all during the course of the day. Without even offering me a bit.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt by this, as trivial as it sounds, considering I shared all the snacks I bought but he has took the opportunity to eat a whole share bar he bought for us, which happens to be my favourite?

Obviously I can go out and get my own, but its more so the underlying action behind it all? I just find it rather greedy.

Why didn't you have it yesterday if it's your favourite?

He had happened to first open the other snacks I had got, so I didnt want to start opening them all - there was quite a few things and I knew we might not get through all of them, so I told him they could always be saved for another day

You need a hobby. That's way too much thoughts about a chocolate bar.

If it was your favourite, you should have eaten it, and bought it yourself in the first place anyway

I’ve just had the last drop of a bottle of wine that dh bought earlier. Hope he doesn’t come looking for it!

I don’t think so.
i mean if something is in the cupboard in our house it’s fair game. First come first served regardless of who bought it.

I’d expect it to be gone.

I think if it's in your cupboards then it's just a matter of who gets to it first really.

You can open more than one package

Then put them all away for another day

You basically rejected his offering, even though he specifically picked it for you, and then got grumpy he ate the stuff you brought and insisted he ate

DP tells me he ate it all during the course of the day. Without even offering me a bit

Was it hidden? Could you have helped yourself to some?

It's the kind of thing that is either a big deal because he's a dreadful, thoughtless boyfriend with a long list of selfish acts and this is the last straw, or not a big deal at all because he's usually a decent person and it's mildly annoying, but just a bar of chocolate.

Only you know, OP.

I think you’re over thinking this just get another one. I find it strange that you comment on what he bought he and what you bought. If you’re married isn’t your money shared?

This is my household too. You’re really overthinking this; it’s chocolate.
I also have multiple snacks open at the same time, it’s so much more fun that way.

It.is greedy to eat a whole treat that has been set aside for sharing. Having done that he should have gone out and replaced it. So greedy and lazy

Meh. It's just chocolate. And chocolate he bought to share for a specific purpose that it wasn't needed for at that. I don't think it's an unfair thing to do in this case - it wasn't bought by you, wasn't a gift and was no longer to be had on a specific occasion. Unless he took it away from you yesterday and said there had been enough snacking already - doesn't sound like it though.

That's just a tasty snack you wanted and didn't get to in time. If it's fair game, non specific snacks, portion size should be decided by the eater or the generous provider if shared, by my rules! I'd be sulky too though, if I thought there was chocolate and it was gone. Go get some more, if you live anywhere with shops open still.

'Hurt' seems really dramatic. Annoyed would be understandable but hurt is a bit much.

Nah! OP set aside a treat she didn't buy or choose because she felt her DP had already opened enough, then he ate it latterly without her.

She didn't want it when they were eating shared snacks together. Not the same at all.

Well i would call that really unpleasant behaviour.

If the chocolate was bought to share then of couse he shouldn't have eaten it all.
He should have taken half of it and left the other half for you.

That's certainly what would have happened in my family. Because we actually care about each other.

It’s just chocolate. It’s not that deep.

It's actually about being selfish and not giving a damn about anyone else but yourself.

Ok I'm going to be 'that person'

life is short & unpredictable.

its a bar of chocolate,

enjoy being able to eat what you want, when you want. I wish I'd enjoyed it more when I took it for granted. Now, due to health issues there's so much I can't eat (it's easier to say what little I can eat)

if it's about him generally being selfish & thoughtless, deal with that. But a chocolate bar is not a hill to die on.

are people living with others that petty that they must ask permission or at least inform the rest of the household when they are eating something? Who's got time for that!

It's in the cupboard or the fridge, it's fair game, unless someone has said : please don't eat this - for any reason.

Just write down that something needs to be bought if you have finished it, no big deal.

Well he brought it because it was her favourite and they were going to share it

And she rejected it

Not exactly selfish to me

Cool.

It's not about being petty. It's actually just caring about the people you live with.

If it's bought for 2 people to share - as this was- you eat your half and leave the rest.

No need to ask permission. I'd just say I've eaten my half so the rest is yours.

Eating the whole thing is totally selfish.

Non issue. Certainly not one to argue over. Maybe tell him you wanted some and he can pick more up. Not a big deal imo

There's an 100% chance any chocolate in our house, will be gone by the evening, unless I hide it.

I do sometimes get a bit exasperated. But on those occasions I send DP off to the shops to get more 🤷‍♀️