To kick DH off 'his' TV and watch it?

[PrincessOfPreschool]

DH watches a lot of TV and loves it. For his 50th he bought himself a nice, big TV with money given by family and some work vouchers. We only have the one TV in the house though we do have lap tops/ PC's/ phones where we can access Netflix, Prime etc.

DD and I have been watching Bakeoff and kicking him off the TV for one hour on a Tuesday to watch it together. He is always a bit grumbly and makes us feel bad. But it is the only time we do this so I try not to feel guilty. He just sits there on his phone for the full hour until it's over then takes the TV back.

Anyway, tonight he was out so DD and I watched a film and then Strictly together and it felt so nice to sit in the living room on the sofa and watch something. I realised I don't really like watching things on my mobile in bed but that is what I tend to do when I get time.

So AIBU to watch more on 'his' TV, which just happens to be in the living room? We don't really like watching anything similar. He watches sport, films and reality TV like BGT or quiz shows. I don't like the same sorts of films or reality TV (only Bakeoff and Bee) and prefer watching series. Basically he dislikes 'my' stuff and I dislike his. Occasionally we watch something all together as a family but it's rare.

So, AIBU to insist on watching 'my' stuff since it's his TV? Or is he BU for begrudging me time to watch things in our living room?

So what did you do before he bought the TV, this all sounds too complicated to be worth it

My parents didn't like any of the same programs. In 1986 my mother decided she was not sitting through another world cup and bought my father a portable TV. He set up camp in the dining room and never came back.

It's nearly 40 years since my parents sat in the same room. Very sad that TV did this to my family but it's the preferred companion to each other.

Too much screen time hasn't just emerged as a problem in recent times.

I assume you had a TV in the living room before in which case this is a replacement/upgrade of the family TV. You say he grumbles a bit but also that a lot of this is you feeling guilty or bad because you feel it's his TV. You need to reframe it for yourself. He upgraded the family TV with the money he got. Hurray for everyone. No guilt required.

Can you put another TV in the room where the old one used to be?

Your poor child.
Do you really not get how messed up this is and what a selfish arsehole your husband is?

You are modelling a really toxic selfish relationship.

Is this what you want for your daughter?
A selfish oaf for a husband.

Buy another tele

I think the fact it was passed off as his 50th present does give the impression it’s his
but that isn’t really practical in family life

I can't get over him and "his" tv sitting grumpy that you dare want to watch a bloody programme what a prick ! We watch programmes that we each don't like but either leave the room or just sit faffing on our phones, your poor Dd seeing her father begrudge her a bit of enjoyment for an hour in the week !

This is horrible.

You aren't bothered about having a TV.

Your husband decides he does, and buys one with his own birthday money.

You then discover you like the TV, so think it is OK to kick him off his TV whenever ?

What you should do :

If you want a family TV buy it out of family money, and everyone has equal claim to it. You can get a 24" Tv for £69 !

So if you want this, either buy a family TV and refund your husbands money so he can get something else for his birthday. Or he can choose to buy a second TV for another room so you can both watch what you want when you want.

But to unilaterally decide that his birthday present should become a family resource is wrong.

What a weird take on the whole situation

Oh @GasPanic the poor man eh !

The husband sounds utterly ghastly and very selfish, even all the TV watching would give me the ick

I think they are poking us with a "stick "

Yeah. How weird that someone should be able to buy something with their own money and not expect the rest of the world to be able to grab it at will.

Either it's his money and his TV and he can do what he wants with it, or it is family money and it belongs to the family.

What's weirder is that if everyone wants to watch TV, then get a family TV.

Because that's what just about everyone else in the world does.

@GasPanic but he has put it in a shared family space, so has to assume it will be shared

What bit of the house isn't shared family space ?

Would it be ok for him to remove it and put it there ?

Yes this,

I got a book for my birthday both Dds have read it by a pp thinking it was mine so I shouldn't share ?

He can have his own TV all he wants.

What he can't do is stick it in the family room and force everyone else to watch stuff on their phones.

It's shit, selfish behaviour,

What is he like in other ways, OP? is your house jointly owned?

It doesn’t work to have something like a TV in a family space that belongs to one person.

What a shit life though. He sounds like an arse and you’re not really living as a family. Life together should be happy.

Wow. What the hell is he watching for that length of time every night. Does he leave the house at all during the day when wfh? Does he not go out on weekends? The guy needs a hobby, sounds dull af

What an odd take on this. So, why doesn't she buy her isn't tv and also put it in the living room? Then they can have volume wars 🤣

Id be buying my own tv and putting it in my own lounge in my own house. The guy sounds like a knob

Are you saying that because he's the main wage earner he gets preferential rights? That sounds very 1950s (or in the 70s, I remember my uncle waltzing into my granny's and switching TV channels without so much as a bye your leave and my granny making a similar excuse).

My step dad did this, he is a class A arsehole in other ways, but regardless what we might be watching he would just turn it over !

Let's do the reverse and see how "odd" it sounds.

Me and my daughter saved up money to buy a TV to watch Strictly. My husband has never really bothered with TV as he watches the football on his ipad.

He;s now decided that watching the football on our TV is much better and when he comes home from work he wants to kick us off our TV to watch the football.

Is he being unreasonable ?

Seriously they just want to watch Bake off on a Tuesday would you really grumble if your spouse and child wanted to.watch an hours programme on "your TV" ?

Our telly is technically my husbands i really should be.grateful.he let's me watch it.