OMG! Rupert Lowe: comments on maternity/labour wards

[drummingfingers]

Rupert Lowe* is the MP for Great Yarmouth (controversial enough to get kicked out of Reform, earlier this year and is now sitting as an Independent).

Just hopped on to his Facebook page as I assumed it was a joke, but no its true:

He posted yesterday:
Giving birth is obviously an incredibly challenging experience for the mother - trust me, nobody is denying that. I do think though, that fathers should be shown more respect by the NHS during the whole process.
No food provided, no basic bedding, nothing.
The father is having a child too - potentially staying multiple nights, sleeping on the floor or a chair?
If the NHS can find hundreds of millions for translation/interpretation and the rest of the diversity bullshit, then surely a few campbeds in each ward isn't such an impossible investment? Maybe a bowl of pasta for the dad, who does actually pay for that meal through his own taxes?
I've asked the Department of Health to reconsider their approach.
It would be nice if fathers weren't treated as some awkward afterthought, during the process and often across wider society.
Let's give dads the respect they deserve.

Well, Mumsnetters, should the NHS really be focussing on this.....surely a partner could pop to a hospital snack bar or bring in his own snacks FFS. Does this MP genuinely think its the most pressing thing for the NHS to providing extra hot meals?????????????

• Rupert was the savvy MP who reported to Border Force a dingy he saw off the coast of Yarmouth as he was worried that it was full of illegals.....he proclaimed "I am chasing them now"..... but it was just some charity rowers raising funds for MND.

To be honest they saved my child’s life multiple times. I couldn’t give a shit about the sleepless nights.

I mean, it's a nice idea.
However, I doubt he has ever tasted hospital food on a maternity ward if he is hankering after a meal there. Or waited in vain for a dr for 8 hours whilst writhing in pain for hours after major emergency surgery after a difficult birth. Or sat for 8 hours in a chair in a and e after being delivered by ambulance with a confirmed heart attack. Or waited 19 months for a paediateition appointment for an SEN diagnosis. Or tried to get a GP appointmemt to get antibiotics for your sick child and been turned away, sent to a and e and ended up in a 6 hour wait. All of which we have experienced in the last few years.
So yeah, nice idea but I think the NHS has bigger problems.

Yep.

I was going to say the exact same thing about feeding at least 1 parent if their child is in hospital. It's such an incredibly hard time financially as well as obviously emotionally and some parents go hungry because they don't want to leave their child.

I'm not sure I'd have an age limit but if it was under 5's plus disabled children then I'd also increase it to parents with children in intensive care and not have an age limit on that.

There isn’t even enough provision for the women giving birth- women in labour are frequently told there is no bed available, and women struggle with limited midwife support. The NHS should start with meeting with needs of mothers and babies on antenatal wards.

Men shouldn’t be staying on antenatal wards unless in a private room- post-partum women should not have to sleep with strange men.

Nope

they aren’t the patients, wee bit different if the child is in NICU

At least 113m according to google - so, no, he's not talking out of his arse - but someone is.

I don't think men should be staying overnight in maternity wards - childbirth is such a vulnerable time, the last thing a woman who has just given birth needs is strange men hanging around at night.

Also, men are not the patients so should not be given meals by the hospital. They can bring their own or buy something at the hospital as parents of ill children do.

Every day this prick is writing a letter to someone or something, I hope they are all returned to sender

There's several campaigns about feeding parents (or at least 1 parent) of children in hospital.

Some children's hospitals offer food for parents via a charity such as Sophie's Legacy.

He is such a twat. He posted about how w need to remove nhs staff with an accent (ie foreigners) from work because people can’t understand them.
I chalked he’d and asked where he was going to get staff to replace them but funnily enough he didn’t reply.

Agree. Had to admit that in the past I'd have had a different response, but after reading research on depression in new parenthood, and how badly it can affect the whole family if there's not a positive start to their new parenting life, I think any easy switch could only be a good thing. We should also remember that the mum might be supported by an older relative/someone with disabilities (whether or not that is the dad), and, having supported a birthing friend when I was very young and fit, I feel it's important for it to be as comfortable as possible, so that the birthing supporter, whether that's dad, or whoever, can be the best support possible for the new mum.
The staff are so busy that a lot of new mums really feel their need their partner as much as possible. Encouraging them to feel welcome is important, and for a very low amount of money, could have long-term good outcomes. If the partner feels welcome and included, they'll speak up for the new mum and be more involved. Birth isn't always lovely and can be very traumatic for the whole family, so whatever can be done to make it easier on everyone is vital.
Also, if the birth supporters are exhausted/ill driving home, that's dangerous for everyone. Easy to say they should just rest, but few would want to leave a woman who's just delivered a baby, for very long. As for the argument the NHS can't afford to look after the patients it's got in the long-term, easy switches to support the whole family could save more money.

There are tens of thousands of people over 90 spending more than 12 hours on corridors waiting to be admitted to wards from A&E every year. I really don’t think feeding and providing bedding for men who aren’t in anyway unwell is a priority.

My dh was allowed to sleep in the single room on a pull out bed beside me for a week and was given food and drinks but it was extreme circumstances. Our baby had been stillborn and his twin was dying in the NICU. They were extremely conpasionate to my husband and I appreciated it. It was the worst week of both of our lives.

I dont think many men would complain about their treatment who arent in dire curcumstances or tragic outcomes. When we were back again this time with thankfully a non eventfull birth, there's was plenty of tea and food in the canteen if dh needed it. My husband was just glad to see our rainbow baby arrive.

Rupert is 💯 correct

hth

Perhaps we should look at why the UK keeps bouncing from one maternity scandal to the next, why so many women report feeling dismissed, infantilised or pressured into interventions during pregnancy, then abandoned in understaffed postnatal wards when at their most vulnerable.

Maybe let’s fix that first before we start worrying about the menfolk and their empty bellies?

Just an idea, Mr Lowe.

Ward 9 has done away with the camp beds, not sure about the other wards. I miss it, the chairs are NOT as good

Actually I think I might have been fed at Walsall Manor two years ago, alas not at Birmingham Children's. There are fridges and microwaves tho, and toasters.

Yeah I get that, I truly do. But I'm imagining four months of trying to nap on a hard chair and take care of my sick child and be healthy at the end of it.

My husband went home after the birth of our child.

Me & the baby were looked after by medical professionals.

Nobody needed sleep on the floor, before or after.

Yes absolutely, I'd vote for that. We were both fed when DS was in NICU but neither in PICU. Once on a children's ward i got fed cos I was pumping. One ward did used to have a sandwich trolley come round so you paid but you didn't have to leave the ward.

He's such an unserious person. Translation services in hospitals are not 'diversity bullshit', they save lives and probably money too as the right treatment can be given instead of relying on guesswork. Or would he rather put people's lives in the hands of Google Translate?

PP have articulated the reasons not to have a load of men on a female maternity ward, and where resources would be better spent, perfectly. I'd agree also that feeding parents of sick children is also a good investment - letting them stay there and be present to soothe their children as well as keeping blood sugar high enough to take in information and make crucial medical decisions.

The first time we went in was 53 days. It’s not easy, but sometimes there was a chair with a pull out bit. To be honest the food was harder. My dd couldn’t be left really and there were days when I ate chocolate and mints…grim.

I do think food for parents is a much bigger need than dad's, one local hospital did feed me when DS was in two years ago, and I'm sure BCH provided bread and hot drinks

I don't think fathers should be staying overnight at all and the mothers and babies should be properly cared for by midwives. There shouldn't be any men on the ward overnight.

My son was in PICU for 7 weeks last year and at the hospital he was at, they just fed the mothers who were breastfeeding. I'll never forget how awful it felt watching them get to eat their dinner without having to leave their child or worrying about the cost of expensive hospital food.

My son was 8 at the time but it didn't make it any easier to leave him so a lot of the time I simply didn't eat other than odd bits of toast, crisps and biscuits. Especially at first when he was so unstable, I was terrified every time I walked out that he wouldn't be still alive when I got back.