Would you go to the CMS?

[MyTrivia]

We have a 5 year old ds. Ex is a high earner but won’t tell me how much he earns. He gives me an amount of money which doesn’t cover everything. But if I ask him how much he earns, he won’t tell me and says it’s none of my business. He says he has to put a lot of his salary into a pension.

He then says that I should be grateful for what he gives me and that people only go to the CMS when the NRP refuses to pay anything.

The CMS would surely calculate what is fair? Even if I end up worse off at least I can see on paper how it’s supposed to be.

Do people often use the CMS or is it a vindictive thing to do as he says?

I feel that he should be paying what the government calculator says he should pay, regardless of how much I earn.

CMS OP if you think he is underpaying you.

the government calculator is not interested in what you earn, only in what he earns. People have been pointed that out before. It's really that simple. and if you want him to pay the official rate, you just go through CMS. It's not that complicated especially if he is PAYE employee. I don't know what you don't get and why you keep going on about your income. It's neither here nor there if you are at the receiving end of maintenance payments.

Yes. Also, she’s apparently seen a solicitor, so already knows all this.

I don’t really understand what this thread is about.

The point of the thread is that my ex is saying that asking the CMS to do a calculation is a vindictive thing to do. I don’t see it that way. He says that people only use the CMS when the NRP won’t pay anything at all.

Im wondering if it’s reasonable of him to see it as ‘vindictive’

End of the day, I still have to see him sometimes.

Solicitor is a family member who works in family law - this was a conversation had years ago. It wasn’t specifically in relation to our dc.

I’ll copy/paste: Why are you believing what the person who doesn’t want to give you money is telling you? Do you think he has your best interests at heart?

You’ve spoken to a lawyer. You exist in the world, so must know that this isn’t true: people only use the CMS when the NRP won’t pay anything at all.

Yet, you’re making odd comments on the thread about being told to write a book (relevance?) and I feel that he should be paying what the government calculator says he should pay, regardless of how much I earn (yes, so does everyone else).

It’s a weird thread. Just go via CMS.

I’m not a troll I have name changed.

you don’t need to be rude, just don’t reply if you think I’m making stuff up.

It's not vindictive but non-resident parents tend to dislike it. Essentially, by going to rhe CMS you are saying you don't believe he is being fair or honest, and you are taking the payment out of his control.

However, it sounds like he isn't being fair and honest. That's on him. If he is paying what he should, it won't change anything.

I didn’t call you a troll or accuse you of making anything up. Are you actually reading the comments to which you’re replying?

Absolutely go through CMS, but also talk to your solicitor. There should have been a financial order made when you divorced. CMS will find out exactly how much he earns, but they'll only give calculations up to £150,000. So if he earns more than that you will need to work out a "top up" amount for the extra.

How is it vindictive? If he was paying the minimum that he should then there wouldn’t be any change. If he was overpaying then it would be reduced. The only reason he could object would be if he knows he is paying less than the minimum amount deemed fair.

You're not being vindictive or selfish. You're attempting to reduce the conflict between the two parents by giving CMS the role, making sure that BOTH parents financially support the child (especially as he doesn't have her overnight), You're also preventing him still having control through money.
CMS is there for a reason. My ex said the same, tells me I only care about the money, but then continued to not pay directly to me so I notified CMS and they now take it directly from his pay... he was so mad as he thought he could continue to pay when/if he felt like it and I would do as told and not follow through. By going to CMS i have reduced my stress and one layer of conflict between us.
Do it! And don't feel guilty..

No, it's not vindictive at all. It's normal good practice and widely advised to use the CMS to calculate how much your child is entitled to from their non resident parent

Non payers are chased and charged extra using the collect and pay element to garnish their income at source. This is different to using the CMS to calculate the amount

Suggesting that it's vindictive smacks of it being a control measure/attempt to deny the child it's rights, and is exactly why the CMS ought to be used

I would point out that I have had many tussles with them over the years and acknowledge that they are a pain in the proverbial, but I will always still recommend that they are used because they represent the rights of the child

How much does he pay now? You said CMS is saying he’d underpaying 350 a month?

I bet he does put into his pension a lot to save paying you so make sure you claim half his pension. !!!

Makes me sick the amount of dads who earn a lot yet don’t pay for their child.

or the ones like I have , who won’t /don’t work so I did cms to make him pay £27.50 a month - whoop !!

Go to CMS he will have to prove salary to them. You still won't know but it should be a fair amount. You don't need to listen to what your exh wants anymore.

When I applied, CMS sent me the details of his salary and the full calculation.

This situation is exactly what the CMS is there for. If he isn’t prepared to show you what he’s earning, with proof in the form of his payslips and annual tax return, CMS will obtain the information from him and extract the legal minimum child maintenance from him (only works properly if he’s PAYE).

And this comment nails it

That’s very true @Shelby2010

its 12% of gross wage for one child

chat gp

Here’s the calculation for 1 child, no overnight stays, and gross income of £120,000/year (£2,308/week):

📊 Calculation (Basic Rate)

• 12% of £2,308 = £276.96 per week

That’s roughly:

• £277 per week
• £1,200 per month

but it’s done after pension sadly so he could put in io to £60k into pension but sure he doesn’t

If he contributes the maximum £60,000, his CMS-assessed income would drop from £120,000 → £60,000.

That means:

• Weekly income = £60,000 ÷ 52 = £1,154
• 12% × £1,154 = £138.50/week
• ➡️ about £600/month

So pensioning £60k could halve the maintenance.

From 1200 to £600 a month if does the full £60k

they can also see what he used to pay for pension and if has suddenly upped it to avoid paying more cms they will see that and can take it back to pre cms pension deductions

1. Request full financial disclosure (Form E) showing all pension contributions over time.
2. Compare contributions before and after the CMS case started — that pattern is key evidence.
3. Ask CMS for a variation on grounds of diversion of income (if his recent pension jump looks artificial).

all from chat gp so hope helps @MyTrivia

what does he currently pay

Interestingly the only people I've ever heard claim that going to CMS was nasty/vindictive/a terrible thing to do have been people knowingly underpaying their child maintenance...

If he felt like they would say "oh the honourable gentleman is paying faaaaar too more than he should" he'd tell you to go for it.

And if you think he's underpaying by literally hundreds of pounds a month you absolutely should go to them.

And maintenance is NOT meant to cover half of a child's bills. It's meant to be a fair contribution based on the NRP's income. Sometimes that means the NRP covers 90% of the kids costs and sometimes 5%. It's not meant to be a 50/50 split.

OP will know what her ex earns if she goes through CMS it's how it works.

How much is he paying?

It isn’t vindictive to go through CMS and anyone who says it is has either something to hide or they’re a gullible moron who always believe the NRPs who insist that their exes are gold diggers and psychos etc.

I would always go through CMS personally, takes the emotion out of it, you never have to discuss child support with your ex again and the NRP is being held to account by a third party.

Going against the grain somewhat, if you're getting a reasonable sum, I would carry on as you are and not rock the boat. Rightly or wrongly, I know several mums who have ended up being really screwed over by going to CMS because their ex responded by reducing his income in various ways (perfectly legally - reducing from full to part time; taking a career break and living off their new wife's income; setting up a new business and not paying themselves for several years...). It's not right and it's not fair, but it happens and I wouldn't want it to happen to me.