What would have been a sharp reply to this?

[2cubesoficeandasliceoflime]

I've lived all over the UK and have a fairly neutral accent which some people interpret as posh (it isn't) but sometimes I use colloquialisms that people dont expect because of it.

I was organising some food. I had referred to it as the "evening meal" just because that was what the menu said. I was speaking to one of the delegates that I dont know and said about having "tea". He looked down his nose at me and said "do you mean dinner? Tea is something you drink". This was in front of quite a lot of people and some sniggered. I just muttered something about the evening meal.

Ive a feeling this wont be the only time Ill experience this about how I talk so what would have have been a sharp but professional reply? Im not the quickest at retorts and when Im put on the spot like that I stumble over my words.

A tinkly laugh/did you mean to be so rude etc aren't particularly sharp.

Im not going to change how I talk. I shouldnt have to. He knew exactly what I was talking about and was just trying (and succeeding) in embarassing me. I can see that certain words/phrases might need to be explained.

This isnt meant to be a discussion about why "dinner" is correct.

(BTW I also use toilet and HATE loo and will never use it).

“Oh dear, my northern/working class/regional roots are offending you, are they?” And then if laugh. I’m proud of my background so it wouldn’t upset me. But I would now know he was a twat, so that’s useful.

Who made you the word-police.

"Oh, have you never been eductaed about regional variations?"

"Unless you're even more stupid than you look, you knew exactly what I meant. Stop being a cunt."

If I need your input, I'll ask for it, off you fuck, poppet.

I’d say something along the lines of “you knew what I meant though, didn’t you?”.

The tea/dinner thing and the barm/bread cake/tea cake debates are usually light hearted regional debates though rather than aggressive put downs.

I don’t reply to that sort of rudeness, just look at them without speaking until they get flustered and start justifying. After which I’lll pointedly move the conversation on. Which is really satisfying.

it does help that I have a face like Granny Weatherwax and the ability to raise one eyebrow though! 😂

'Where I'm from, we call it tea. I'm surprised you didn't realise that'.

It's a good retort but you have to be sure that he'd understand the reference.
I've tried the odd bit of rapier wit only to be met with a blank stare and "Shurrup" or something.
Sometimes it's best to take the rapier by the point and hit them over the head with the handle.
I'd probably have done exactly what the OP did because it takes me aback when someone is unexpectedly rude.

It’s just a joke. What’s their problem?

If you are eating as a group at an event I don't think it's ever called tea is it? Wherever in the country you happen to be hotels/ conference centres serve 'dinner'. I think tea is used regionally or colloquially to refer to the evening meal by individuals but the venue wouldcall it dinner.

It's never a good idea to be sharp with colleagues. Best to take him to one side and say how he made you feel. If he dismisses your feelings then complain about him.

'Some words can have more than one meaning. For example, a twat could be a woman's genitals, or a man like you.'

“Well yes, there is tea that you drink but not off a plate.”

Perfect retort for this

I always call it breakfast dinner & tea.
You could say....'tell me, does been so obnoxious come naturally or do you have to practice?'
Turn on your heel and walk off

“Oh gosh, sorry, I didn’t realise you don’t know how to apply context to assist your understanding. I’ll make a mental note to take that into account next time you’re down to work with clients from Manchester/France/China/wherever so that you don’t embarrass us.”

Oops - apologies. I do normal, not pretentious

Insist "No, I'm talking about tea - which is a word that many, many people use to refer to their evening meal"...

Then arrange for everybody else at the event to be served with a lovely big plate full of delicious food, but he only gets given a cup of tea instead; and when he protests, pretend that you thought he only wanted a hot drink and not a meal like everybody else was having.

“as long as it’s pie, chips and gravy, I don’t care what it’s called”

”Seeing as you know so much Dave, which year do you think men will stop unnecessarily critiquing women?”

I’m frightfully posh and we eat tea. 🙂

You handled it well.
Otherwise I like the pp reply of don’t be an arsehole Dave.

This but to be slightly more polite for the workplace, I would use 'What's your point, Dave?'

If he then says anything else like 'you said the wrong thing' or 'I didn't understand' you can follow up with

'Ah, you were confused. It happens to us all sometimes. I think it's clear now what I'm referring to'

The key thing is to respond in terms of what he did - so, he was confused, he made a bad joke or a rude remark - and not to talk about it as something you got wrong or were deficient in.

I think a withering look would suffice.

I would have given a silent pause then said “interesting” and walked off.

ahhh the old tea / dinner / supper debate.... shall we do Cob/bap/batch next or go straight in to Scone Jam first or cream?

You dont give in it, it takes the wind out of his sails, you show its a debate that's been done to death and make it quite clear you're not bowing down to him