Am I a laughing stock?

[CovidHeadache]

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

It’s harmless, but so so cringy

But this is not a laugh out loud joke that gets less funny the more time you hear it. It's a silly, self-deprecating, pointless, mild-smile-at-best joke... and those need to be repeated decade after decade, passed down through the generations.

It sounds like a fun welcoming home. The name is said jokingly. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Well, I think your family and some posters on this thread sound a bit joyless. I don't see how nicknaming your home is any different to people having nicknames, or having their own 'fun' names for objects/events, personally.

Really shitty of them to laugh at you behind your back, though.

Ah I love this story.

My dear MIL (who I adored) referred to her house by its address – as if she had multiple residences and she was clarifying which one she meant (she only had one house).

So (say her address was 23 Acacia Avenue), she would say, 'we went back to 23 Acacia and I had turned the heating off after all'.
Or 'I'll just pop back to 23 Acacia and give you a ring.'
Or, 'you'll never guess who turned up at 23 Acaica last week'.

It was lol but also kind of sweet, so I am inclined to look favourably on your story for giving me a nice memory.

To be honest, I smiled at first when you said that's what you call your home.

But the invitations thing and the Christmas/birthday cards etc made me cringe quite hard.

I don't blame her really, as just reading through your OP was a bit irritating.

But still, I wouldn't see it as a big deal if my sister asked me to put a sock in it after a few years.

Sounds as though you've overdone the joke.

Reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd make a joke, my siblings (I'm the youngest) would laugh the first time, maybe the second too. Then they'd tell me I hadn't just killed the joke, I cremated it. Lol they gave me thick skin though and also self awareness so very grateful for them.

It’s just a lighthearted joke. My friend calls her house something jokey too.

To be honest I’d probably stop now if the consensus is people have had enough of it but I’d try not to overthink about it or upset myself over it.

Gosh, some people have no sense of humour! If I love someone dearly, as I do much of my family and all of my friends, I love their daft jokes too.

I guess it annoyed the sister more that day. She was blunt as fuck. I’m used to that from my family so I’d be more embarrassed about the towers thing than offended. We’re all different though innit.

It started as a joke when we moved into a huge country mansion 😄. Well, part of a mansion as it was an apartment. We no longer live there due to ever rising service charges and twats on the residents' committee (some of whom really thought they were Lord and Lady. I could write a sitcom), but the name has stuck.

It's obviously a joke, I wouldn't think much of it if I knew somebody who did that.

My long ago ex used to live in a camper van and referred to is as Surname Manor Farm. People seemed to find it amusing, as there was a degree of self irony there, and same for yours I expect, OP.

Your sister has been a bit mean here. I mean, fair enough for her to give her own opinion. But it's quite bullying to darkly imply everybody thinks the same, without actually naming who thinks this or giving any evidence. It's designed to make you feel paranoid about your friendships - basically a dick move on her part.

I highly doubt your friends and acquaintances have spent hours deriding this behind your back. As the kids say, it isn't that deep.

I imagine she was exactly alluding to Fawlty Towers.

I think your friends are boring and dishonest, if one cannot be quirky with friends, then who with? They should have told you, in your face, bantering or any other lighthearted way. I would double down.on the towers and fuckemall.

If she was actually "blunt as fuck" she'd have told OP years ago. Bitching about someone behind their back for years and then finally, sneeringly telling them you've been bitching about them for years is not being "blunt as fuck". It's being a massive bitch.

I suppose by persisting with it, people might be finding it annoying (other than your sister, of course). It does have a Lady of the Manor air about it that, though initially funny, might now seem like you really think you are Lady Bountiful and your place is the place to be (aka better than anywhere else).

A joke is only funny for so long...... Drop it from now on, but don't angst about it. No need to feel humiliated.

I agree. It’s pretty harmless! I’d continue to use it now OP, maybe change your social media to it. Strange how it winds your sister up so much!

Actually, as someone says, it is the sister who needs talking to, your friends might be okay. But still. It doesn't sound nice.

Start calling it "the property formerly known as Jackson Towers"

Possibly, but it was at this point OP's sister could have kindly said something to OP about it. OP's hurt because her 'D'S has given her the impression that no-one has found it funny for years, but that's just what her 'D'S says and none of us knows if it's true or not - it's much easier to say you don't like something whilst claiming your opinion is backed up by others. Personally, I think OP's 'D'S has been a spiteful cow - even if it's true that the joke has worn thin generally, OP's 'D'S could have told OP a lot sooner and a lot more kindly.

Immediately thought of this! 🤣

Do it!

This 👆 with knobs on.

Maybe they have another problem, are jealous, or whatever and instead of facing their miserable selves, they have a go at you. Show'em some teeth. If bitching then bitch back. Some people only get raw power. We are still very much like our primate relatives.

Very often it's not the joke itself that starts to irk people but the person who starts it doesn't know when to stop. It's the "element of obliviousness" that rubs people up the wrong way. The house name was perhaps funny the very first time but dragging it out for years becomes very cringey and pick me. Usually by people who take things very literally and don't really understand social cues.

Are you by any chance neurodivergent?