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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a laughing stock?

814 replies

CovidHeadache · 31/10/2025 09:03

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

OP posts:
Oakcupboard · 31/10/2025 10:56

It wouldn’t bother me, your family still and like judgey twats. Try to not dwell OP

SimplyReadHead · 31/10/2025 10:57

My last name starts with an H - pretend like Hamilton.

Everyone calls our house Hamilton HQ.

I think it’s cool.

Your house sounds like a lovely warm place, full of love and laughter - the perfect home.

Ignore the boring farts with no sense of humour.

Alittlefrustrated · 31/10/2025 10:58

itsgettingweird · 31/10/2025 09:12

It’s a joke.

if people are that bothered they could of course decline what seems like your generous hospitality.

I think I’d have to continue now just because I know people are judgey.

Absolutely!! I voted YABU for being so upset/annoyed. You mean't it as a joke and people are either taking the mickey or rolling their eyes - like people do in response to jokes.
Your sister sounds a misery. I'd be tempted to get a plaque or sign made. Ham it up some more.
If people think you are being serious/pretentious about your 3 story town house, then frankly the joke's on them.
Please don't stop.

Notmyreality · 31/10/2025 10:59

Yes very cringey. It’s one thing to say it once in a while in an ironic or tongue in cheek way,
but to actually write it on invitations makes
you look like a massive twat.
Your sister is exactly right and yes you are undoubtedly a laughing stock.

Toydrum · 31/10/2025 11:00

Sounds like your sister is resentful of you for whatever reason.

sesquipedalian · 31/10/2025 11:00

OP, perhaps the difference is between saying it and writing it. I might refer to my (very ordinary) house as “Chateau (surname)”, but I’d never write it.

LeadBubbles · 31/10/2025 11:00

I'd double down and start calling it the "Jackson Dungeon" or "Castle" or sth 😌

graceinspace999 · 31/10/2025 11:01

It’s just a joke based on irony.

Sadly there are way too many dick-for-brains out there who spend their time picking on others for the sake of it.

I’d go big on this one. Get some invites (very cheap from Internet) printed with ‘The Towers’ on them and invite them to a get together to celebrate peace and reconciliation- at ‘The Towers’ of course.

Serve them spam butties with ketchup and some cheap wine and beer - enjoy the expressions on their miserable, snotty faces!

When they’ve gone get out your favourite drinks and food and party on with your real friends.

StewkeyBlue · 31/10/2025 11:01

OP: it’s completely harmless and it was OTT for your sister and mum to be so nasty about it.

Would hardly register with me.

I have a friend, her DH is called Mal , we all call her house Malory Towers. (It probably irritates her… but not enough to get nasty or annoyed)

FloraPostIt · 31/10/2025 11:04

I think it's fine. You are gently mocking yourself not others. Only a knobhead would judge. I'm sad for you that someone has made you feel this way. I wouldn't laugh at you

Myblueclematis · 31/10/2025 11:04

I'd find it amusing OP, I sometimes say something similar. I don't say it very often and my friends know it doesn't mean I think my home resembles Longleat!

I worked with someone who also used to refer to his house as surname Towers, it was a jokey reference just like mine and the OP's is.

Viviennemary · 31/10/2025 11:04

Its really silly and not a bit funny.

ThreeDeafMice · 31/10/2025 11:05

I think it’s funny. Anyone who can’t see it as you taking the mickey out of yourself is a dickhead who doesn’t deserve your company. Carry on.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 31/10/2025 11:05

What nasty feedback OP but remember it's not your whole personality. People obviously love coming to the towers for parties. of that's all they can find to laugh about you then you are doing ok!

Stravaig · 31/10/2025 11:07

It's distancing. You are being welcoming and generous but only after having established a separation between you and them, one that they only cross thanks to your gracious largesse.

It's maybe most obvious if you're writing things like 'love, all at X Towers' instead of 'love from all of us'.

Come to mine, my home, mi casa is at once more ordinary (we all have a version, even if it's just a backpack and bedroll) and yet also more intimate, it's a welcome into personal space. Whereas X Towers is a named establishment in a hierarchy that no-one else is willing to recognise.

See if you can catch who you imagine you are being in your head when you say/do this - might give some insight into what's annoying others.

MajorMerrick · 31/10/2025 11:07

It’s OK within the people who live there if they’re all comfortable with it, which my kids wouldn’t be and would loudly tell me, but outside of that, very cringey. Don’t feel bad about it, just stop it now and move on. We all, every single one of us, do things that other people don’t like, you can’t stop everything, you’d have to lock yourself in the house and never speak to a soul again to avoid it.

MajesticWhine · 31/10/2025 11:07

It’s a bit cringe, sorry OP. A joke that was funny once or twice but not any more. Your family were not very kind though. At least you know now.

Squirrelmirrel · 31/10/2025 11:08

Notmyreality · 31/10/2025 10:59

Yes very cringey. It’s one thing to say it once in a while in an ironic or tongue in cheek way,
but to actually write it on invitations makes
you look like a massive twat.
Your sister is exactly right and yes you are undoubtedly a laughing stock.

Edited

You sound like a truly horrible person.

BashfulClam · 31/10/2025 11:11

Aw I’d give it quite sweet. My DH and I call our house ‘HQ’ but only to each other. Our rooms are also named,again, only with each other. The spare room next to the main bathroom is ‘sick bay’ as you are sent there if you are ill. The main bathroom is the ‘poop cabin’ as you don’t poo in the downstairs loo, the living room is the ‘control centre’. This is strictly me and him though we don’t go around saying it to others.

NimbleDreamer · 31/10/2025 11:11

Because you've overused it to death over the years it has now become cringey. Especially writing it on cards and invitations etc.

I'd take the hint and give it a rest now.

theDudesmummy · 31/10/2025 11:12

I would probably think it a bit silly if someone I knew did that (and an outdated sort of joke, my uncle used to say exactly this 40 years ago), but I would put it down as a harmless little foible or personal figure of speech. Lots of people have them, my DH has a number of rather silly phrases he uses habitually. I always know when one is coming up as they are said in response to certain situations, a bit like the Towers thing, you can see them coming a mile away. It might be a bit boring after a while (well, after 20 years it is) but I wouldn't laugh at them. I am presuming it is said in a self-deprecating and not a pompous sort of way. Like most people, you probably also have other phrases you use that are rather characteristic of you.

Thephantom · 31/10/2025 11:13

Yes, you are I'm afraid OP. Say it once, twice, maybe thrice , yes it's funny. But then to keep referring to it as the towers is ridiculous, boring and pretentious. Why couldn't you say " why don't you come back to my place, after the event?" instead of "the towers". Just say " from A,L and all at home" in your cards. I'm glad your sister finally told you how everyone felt about it. You don't really want to be the butt of the joke

YouMightLikeCats · 31/10/2025 11:13

I would take it as self-deprecating a la Smash Hits.

Possibly it has worn a bit thin though.

I think the only way forward is escalation - "Heights", "Chateau", "Mansion" - change it up each time!

Jenkibuble · 31/10/2025 11:14

CovidHeadache · 31/10/2025 09:03

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

Someone I work with does this, although I think she does it as she is a bit of a Hyacinth Bouqet and feels a cut above the rest of us !
She requested a 'title ' for xmas last year (you know the Groupon type)
Ive never been to her house nor do I want to !
It is a bit wanky IMO but each to their own !

theDudesmummy · 31/10/2025 11:14

An example is that my DH always calls the master bedroom in a house the "main workshop". I find it quite cringey after all these years when he says it publically, but also a little endearing too!