Am I a laughing stock?

[CovidHeadache]

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

She asked her friend who admitted that other people had commented on it too.

So not just her family.

And quite possibly even some of those who go along with it in front of the OP.

I just can't understand why it bothers people so much they had "had enough" and apparently all talk about it. It's a joke that they feel is overused... so what? If you actually like a person then it's just one of their quirks. I can get not finding it funny, I can't get how it could bother anyone this much.

If so many people are commenting on it, and the friend has indicated that they are, then she must have just taken it too far. If shell made this a big part of her personality then it can see how it could be so grating. She puts it on invitations to her house, she says it verbally when inviting people to her house, she signs off Christmas and birthday cards with it, she has a plaque for it… I’d imagine it goes further. She probably answers the door with “welcome to the towers” when people come round and I’m sure there are social media posts of “Halloween in the towers tonight” etc.

When someone takes something that’s not all that funny and makes it a repeated comment which is a massive part of her communication with people… it is tiring. And people will talk about it.

Hi OP what you call your house in fun isn't important in the scheme of things and those close to you telling you it's embarrassing are being a bit mean. If that's the worst thing they can find to say about you , you're doing well and they're lucky to have you. Keep being you 💐

My dad used to refer to home as T'our 'ouse. (Yorkshire accent Tower House) It was just a laugh. I'd stop doing it but they all need to get a life.

I honestly think this says more about your sister and mum's insecurities than anything else. But then I occasionally jokingly refer to our (fairly modest new build) house as Chateau Carter and as far as I'm aware no one's ever thought that I actually believed I lived in a French country house.

You sound like fun and a great warm and welcoming host.

It should be taken in that vein by your friends and family, otherwise they should bog-off and not accept your generous hospitality. Let them put the effort into doing the entertaining, not to mention the cost. Miserable lot.

I accidently clicked unreasonable but I don't think you are. Everybody does stuff that makes others cringe a bit. My sister and her husband call each other Dude, like all the time and that makes me cringe. There will be things that I do that make her cringe. I don't get why your sister had to be so mean about it though.

This. Its really nasty. Perhaps they like ganging up on you OP.
I think you seem like a warm and friendly person, and I think I'd like you.

It’s a bit Accidental Partridge.

Don’t worry about it — some people just don’t have a sense of humor. They might’ve gotten the joke if your house actually looked like a tower.

Well, honestly, it is a bit ‘try hard’ for me to include it in cards and on plaques and whatnot and you using it in casual conversation like in your op would have me internally cringing BUT I would never say that to you… yknow, in real life, not on here… obviously 😂 I can’t understand why your mum and your sister ate so bothered about it that they even needed to say anything! Your friend I feel sorry for because you put her in a really awkward position by asking!

what a load of bollox! 'Do you flaunt wealth? '

My dad lives on one of the many Manor Roads in the country. When his girlfriend moved in she started calling it "The Manor" and "The Manor House". My face must have told her that I thought she was a tit as she soon stopped doing it. To me at least. I could never imagine feeling like that over something my sister did though. I wouldn't dream of using it to make her feel silly.

But "too far" for what?

It harms nobody, it isn't a boast. It's a joke. Her nickname for her own house. So people think the joke is overdone, so what? I'd understand if she was constantly expecting a round of laughter and lots of reaction but it's just her jokey nickname for her home, she's not expecting everyone to react every time or do the same. Sounds like she hadn't even thought about it much any more. I really, truly don't understand what exactly it is that is apparently driving people so mad they can't take it any more. Too far for what? Enough of what?

This.
It's just a joke.
Some people will find anything to pick on. Breeze through it.. its their problem.
Put it this way, your DM and Sis must be hard up for conversation.

as @Y0208680333367 style it out... and use it a bit less.

If it makes you feel any better DH has sometimes referred to our gaff as HQ, eg "I've left it back at HQ" but I noticed that was talking with his parents as his dad was very formal...and it was a joke. I've often heard people say things like that and thought nothing of it.

I don't think this is that cringe but honestly even if your friends do think it's a bit cringe don't give that headspace. Lots of my friends have little quirks and oddities that I find faintly embarrassing but it doesn't mean I don't love, respect and admire them in the whole.

Your job isn't to be the world's least cringe person according to everyone else, it's to live your life happily and well to the best of your ability, and it sounds like you do that.

Because when you go that far, you give off the impression that it’s not a joke. Her house is “The Towers” and it isn’t a joke… which is super weird for a pretty normal house.

When you take it too far, you look like you mean it. So everyone thinks it’s weird and a bit up herself.

It is just a joke and they are the ones being cringe (if 'they' even are talking behind your back - I think 'they' is just your sis). If you don't act like a dick socially, then you have nothing to worry about.

I'd stop calling your house Jackson Towers, and start calling it Chez Jackson. Fuck 'em.

Obviously yes you are a laughing stock and it’s very cringe

Did you not get any hints from them over the years ?

No you are not a laughing stock. Your sister is a nasty one. Wouldn’t invite her to your lovely events in future.

For me it's a harmless form of shorthand for your home. Wouldn't fund it cringe or anything really. I'd take it with the humour you say it with.

You sound like such a joyless arsehole.

Thanks for clearing that up.

sorry but my eyes rolled at every mention of the surname towers, its cute a few times but allowing it to become A Thing is whacko

I was just thinking about a woman I met once decades ago who beamed with pride when she said 'we call our little farmstead here in the country 'Franks Folly', (or similar, the last name started with F so I guess she just went with it 😂)

I never cringed so hard in my life and thirty years on still cringe when I think of it. She was an utter twat and massive snob too...always bought the same car in the model and color so she wouldn't get confused in parking lots and lost her fucking mind one year when the model body style changed significantly 🙄🙄etcetc