Rude woman

[Namechanged999999]

I doubt that anyone will have anything to add to this. Anyway.

i took up golf recently. I parked and went to the course and hit a ball that went into the trees and ball was lost. I was kicking myself as all my spare balls were in the car. I went back to the car to get more. This woman got out of her car in front of mine and laughed openly at me. You didn’t stay there long. Apparently she was in her car waiting to go for the train so had saw me going to the course and coming back 10 mins later. I didn’t engage. I got some more ball put them in trolley and headed back down. She started shouting omg she’s heading back and laughing literally uproariously. I just ignored her and went on my way.

My Aibu is that i hear this in my head and dream of going back to her and whacking her around the legs with a golf club. At least i should have said something to her? Her loud laughter at me really rankles.

Maybe have a think of a "come back" for anyone being rude/insulting out of bitchiness in the future?

Definitely. It takes you unawares. Any individual situation can need a different come back. Unfortunately this one just needed me to whack her with golf club. I could take golf club every where I go maybe!

Joking about the golf club. That's not acceptable solution :-)

How to belittle someone?? You weren't there. You didn't see the body language, hear the tone of voice but OP did. Everyone knows when someone is taking the piss out of them. I'm on holiday at the moment and have openly had people taking the piss out of me for no reason whatsoever. If I hadn't been with the kids I would have given them both barrels.

No-one if born an expert at anything... Everyone has a first time/been a beginner. Maybe (we will never know) someone was a bitch to her when she started out. Perhaps her husband is emotionally unavailable. Perhaps she is just a massive cow? Perhaps perhaps.

You cant go around whacking anyone without risking arrest. People say all kinds of hurtful things, intentional and unintentional. Odds are that she wont have been the first person ever to have spoken nastily to you. It is how you deal with it. Refuse to allow her to take up any more of your emotion amd work on "how I will deal with rude people" come back. Take back the power.

That's what I did.

Ps she wasn't a golfer. She was just in her car waiting until her train arrived.

These situations are the worst - the ones you reply in your head obsessively because you'd wished you'd done or said something differently.

For her- she's likely completely forgotten about it.

For you - just know - she's obviously a very odd person. I mean who laughs at a stranger for going back to their car to get something? There could have been any reason you went back! Normal people just don't behave like that. Also, it sounds like she was laughing to her imaginary friends....she's got a screw loose OP. Not one to worry about.

My neighbour does stuff like this, I think he is really lonely. He just sits around watching people and then comes out with these really rude odd comments. I think he desperately wants attention and goes about it in the worst way possible. He actually asked me one day why everyone crosses the road or gets a phone call when he comes along…. His wife is lovely but bizarrely she thinks he is totally hilarious.

I can’t believe I can’t think of a story about him. He is such a knob!!!

Best reaction is No Reaction
You did the right thing and probably pissed her off by saying nothing.
Try to move on from it. She really isn’t that important.

You did the right thing. She sounds mental to be honest.

I am really glad i posted this as it’s made me feel so much better. Absolutely killing her with a golf club would have been totally wrong response!! :-) and yes she was a looper. And i did exactly as i should!! Ie ignored her. Xx

I wouldn't have found her first comment offensive - I'd have laughed and said back "forgot my balls <eyeroll>" sort of thing.
Second comment was rude - but I guess came because you didn't engage? I mean, you don't owe engagement to a random sitting in her car - but that's probably the reason.
You needn't waste your time & energy feeling upset by this - you're having a great time playing golf, she's sitting in a car, not playing golf.
Personally, I've never been the type to shout comments at strangers - she's probably bored and a bit of twat.

I actually agree. I could have dealt better with this. I didn’t want to deal with her and it escalated from there. I take some responsibility. I’ve really loved all the responses to this as it has helped me. I am learning!!

Nice one, OP - I think it's a very normal thing to think "oh I should've done/said that" after an unexpected interaction like this. Hope you enjoyed the golf - that's the main thing!

There is always someone who is losing at life, in their own definition of losing. This could be not as attractive or dynamic or strong or tenacious as you. It could be a perceived deficit in income/ class/ social standing or whatever tik tok made them think about today. They always betray themselves by being THAT PERSON who needs to comment loudly on the behaviour, or words of other people (especially strangers). The only power they have in their sad and troubled little lives is to throw insults or sarcastic comments out at other people who trigger them. Strong, independent, secure people do not belittle others. They get a kick out of mentoring and empowering others. It is a desperate attempt to show how powerful and special they are (in their own mind). The best way to deal with this is to laugh at them, and then you don't have to scramble for instant replies or slanging matches. Showing that you could not give a monkeys what they think makes them burn inside like a furnace. It upsets them because they don't get the response they want, and you win (in the dignity competition). I know this, due to the neighbour from hell who I have tamed through psychological tactics.

Loveliest responses. And yes, i adored the golf. Maybe she was having to get a train off to a horrible job. And i meanwhile after a lifetime of all that, was able to go do a round of golf. The images in my head of whacking her hard around her legs with golf club are fading lol…..

A generic "You alright, love?" in a condescending/ bitchy tone can be applied to any situation.

The crazy train, probably.

This sounds like part of a manic episode. You were right to ignore.

I might use this in future in many situations :-)

You did the right thing ignoring her. Who knows what would've happened if you responded, she actually sounds a bit unhinged. I've never witnessed an adult woman act that way. I've come across some unkind and rude people but the laughing out loud and watching and commenting on the coming and goings of a stranger is really odd behaviour.

Never failed me. There really is no comeback.

You feel sorry for her, she's a miserable bag, sitting in her car, watching people walk to and from a golf course? And rather than sit in her car "waiting for a train" and mind her own business, she actually gets out of the car purely to laugh and make fun of you? For what? For pursuing a hobby that makes you happy?

Are you usually rude to people as a way to start a conversation? Do you laugh at people in an attempt to get them to like you?
This woman sounds really rude and you were right to ignore her. Not unreasonable to want to hit her with the golf club either but probably better you resisted.

I’m struggling with this. Are you saying you went on the golf course with just one ball in your bag? Whist that is pretty unbelievable, even for a complete novice, you then say you lost it after 10 mins so walked off the course and then went back again.
I play at a small village course and it can be very quiet at times but this is the most bizarre behaviour. People don’t stop a round, wander off and start back where they left off, it would cause mayhem. If there were other players behind, this behaviour would get more than a comment from someone in the car park. You have a tee time for a reason.