Drowning in clutter

[sadsack48]

I have this fantasy where everything I own is useful or precious. I would have such a small selection of things that when I got something new it would be noticeable, loved or well used.

The reality is that my house is full of fucking junk. I am so bad at clearing things out and decluttering. Occasionally I sell clothing on Vinted but it doesn’t get close to clearing the backlog of stuff (mine and the kids) that is hanging around still, outgrown or unworn for years. The same with cosmetics, toys, books, drawer upon drawer of nameless tat, paperwork, toys with bits missing, cupboards full of stuff…it’s every single room. I hate it but I can’t summon the energy to do anything about it. It just feels like too big of a task.

Realistically I know I just have to tackle it room by room but I’m always either at work or have my toddler with me and I can’t get fully stuck in.

I’ve become a bit obsessed with watching videos of people who live in tiny homes or vans. Everything they have is perfectly organised and necessary.

Im dreading another Christmas of even more stuff adding to the hoards we already have. Where do I even begin?

Goodness me @VoltaireMittyDream

Whereas the more you worry about the clutter without doing anything, the more likely you are to self soothe by, say, buying books about how to declutter, or buying a new planner to help you organise the decluttering process, or buying random storage solutions that you hope will solve the problem, or buying a capsule wardrobe to support your fantasy of a minimalist life. And you just spend more money on more clutter that makes you more unhappy.

This is so true!

Ooh can you come to my house please.

I found a company called Anglo Doorstep Collections that collect donations from home for free, perhaps you have similar for your area?
Also if you have books or old CDs to get rid of there are online companies where you scan the item's barcode with an app, and you can probably get a small amount (20p/50p/£1) for each item. Box them up and they collect for free as well, and transfer the money to you. The money isn't usually very much but it's worth it for me for the collection from home which is good for busy people/non drivers.
Good luck!

It’s not that hard, it’s the getting started that is. And it’s easier than you think.

Do one thing a day, so take a chest if drawers, empty, bin what’s not needed and put back what is, then do one wardrobe a day, one toy box etc. then after a while you may feel like doing two things a day, trick is not to fill the space cleared again

Once you get started it’ll sound be done. Support your local charity shops and take it all there.

Exactly. I don’t want it sitting for more than a day. It’s got to go. I’ve kept up on mine. It’s called Swedish death cleaning, morbid but apropo.

You could try it backwards. So instead of sorting through stuff deciding what to keep, go into your wardrobe and quickly grab the things you regularly wear. Put them to one side. Then bag everything else very quickly and put ready for the clothing bank. Then set aside the toiletries you would take if you were going away for a fortnight. Bin everything else. So often decluttering fails because we focus on what to throw rather than what to keep snd sifting through stuff takes ages and is tough if you're indecisive. If the thought of throwing something you might regret worries you, then put in vacuum storage. If you haven't wanted them in a year, then throw out.

I’d absolutely love to do it professionally, and all the cleaning that goes along with it! It’d be a dream come true 🤣 - but truthfully I think lack the patience needed with people who are very attached to their things… they’d see a pile of old magazines as treasured possessions, and I’d see a load of old junk and be dying to throw them out!

If you're keeping stuff in your wardrobe "just in case" then the chances are that when they do fit they won't be fashionable. Pass them on to charity.

I used to wake up each morning and watch apartment therapy videos of beautifully ordered apartments becasue my husband is a hoarder. we have a home full of beautilf things that I have collected becasue I love art and design and this was my motto in life. it was only part of things but I ended up in psychosis form stress

my husband hoards old magazines and newspapers form thirty years ago

It’s likely that the desire to realise some value from items is what’s holding you back. I know my weakness is wanting to find the ‘right’ way to dispose of things, especially recycling, as I hate waste. But as others have said, the money spent on these things has already gone and hanging on to them doesn’t make them valuable.

I did ‘Marie Kondo’ during lockdown and I reckon I got rid of about 1/3 of the contents of my home. I can’t tell you what most of it was, because it wasn’t stuff I needed or wanted. I can’t express what a difference it made to my life. Not having carrier bags of paperwork ‘to sort through’, or piles of clothes (ditto) or things for the person I thought I was going to be .. her book is worth a read. Cleaning is easy now because there’s nothing in the way of the vacuum, nothing difficult to dust. I can find stuff because it’s all stored logically.

My house is far from minimalist and I still have too much stuff (any fabric/craft/yarn hoarders out there?) but it’s changed my mindset. Don’t worry about selling/recycling, bin anything you can’t give away (there’s a clue here - nobody wants it!) and once you’ve got sorted you can be as green or thrifty as you like. And don’t be too hard on yourself- if you’ve got a toddler you’re not going to achieve perfection for a few years.

I’ve helped a friend get sorted recently. She couldn’t open the door to her bedroom and has been sleeping on the sofa for several years. She is a crafter and wanted a craft room so we set about sorting that with a day bed in.

Agree about not selling things with a few exceptions. She sold odds and ends of gold and it paid for bed and TV then some kids toys bought storage for crafts.

Getting started can be really hard but once you have it will get easier. If you can find a friend you trust who will help do that. The process will be bigger in your head than it is in reality. It took me less than half an hour to sort access to a dresser she hadn’t been able to get to for years due to things in front of it plus sort the top of it so it looks tidier and sorted stuff on it.

Realise that a lot of what you consider to be valued possessions are completely the opposite and their existence is detrimental to your state of mind. Let them go to the charity shop where others can use them. Be realistic about condition though and come to terms with the fact there will be many bags of rubbish for the tip as you are condensing the process so it seems like there is loads but if it was dealt with bit by bit it would have just been a bit more in the bin more regularly.

For craft stuff IKEA Kallax is great and fabric can be vacuum packed . Break it down into each craft and work from there. Get rid of half done projects. Have one work bag in the living room with your current project in.

As others have said, don't sell things. Either take to a charity shop or the tip/recycling centre. Selling is too much of a faff.
You don't have to tackle a room. A drawer or cupboard to start with, or clear the floor.

I think the do a room at a time is too overwhelming in the face of so much clutter

OP you know there’s a load of stuff that needs to go. Do not do a room at a time imo.

Get 2 carrier bags/bin bags. One is rubbish, one is charity.
Walk through the house or walk around a room and fill the bags. You may not even need to open any cupboards depending on how cluttered stuff is.
Then do it again, have a cuppa, put charity stuff in the boot of your car or walk it to the shop. Then another swoop

Thats how I would start at least.

I have a question please. I have so much alcohol cluttering cupboards. Most of it inherited or given as gifts. Should I just chuck the lot? How would you recommend disposing of it?

Unopened and new - regift.

Otherwise, pour it down the sink.

Does champagne have a sell by date? I have so many bottles 🫣

Google? No idea, tbh!

Champagne = Freecycle, Facebook or offer to neighbours

Marie Kondo book is v helpful

Once you get started, it becomes easier

Little and often works best for me

Marie Kondo recently admitted her ways have gone out the way since having a child.

What a surprise.

Look at your storage before you declutter. A well ordered cupboard where you can see everything is worth the extra steps.

Look through each room and assess what storage you have, what storage you could have and what would need getting rid. Then pick a room and start with one aspect of it.

Shelve any alcoves, put doors on if you can, it doesn't have to be a big job we had done loads with a sheet of MDF and then painted the same colour as the original wall. We have an alcove in our downstairs loo 50 x 80 cm. It has 4 shelves in and contains, spare loo rolls, spare hand towel, first aid kit, all of mine and my daughters medication, a full pharmacy of things for adults and children, cleaning products, sun cream, after sun, moisturiser, thermometers, blood pressure monitor everything medical that we were liable to lose. We have 6 plastic boxes the perfect width categorised.

Tackle a cupboard at a time and don't be afraid to throw things out. In the run up to Christmas I cleared through our tea cupboards we had some boxes of tea bars that were bbd of 2020 and yes I know they would be still good to use, that's why they hadn't been ditched in previous sort outs but if I still have 70 of 80 tea bags and I have had them at least 5 years whilst I could use them it's quite apparent that I probably won't. I removed the tops of the boxes of tea bags which means I no longer have to take the boxes out of the cupboard to get the bag out so now they are at the back of the cupboard. This allowed me to sort of the tea overspill cupboard and got the spare tea and coffee into the main cupboard freeing up more room for oat milk in the overspill cupboard so all of that fits in now without using the utility.

Whilst I was doing i rejigged the cup cupboard and was able to move the coffee flasks to that cupboard rather than the cereal cupboard.

Get boxes the appropriate size for a cupboard and give each a purpose. Shoe boxes are great for things like this. My daughter has dried fruit in her breakfast so we have all of the dried fruit and nuts in a shoe box that we can easily bring in and out of the cupboard. We have different shaped pasta in another cupboard.

We have a baby and been hand-me-down so many clothes they are all in boxes with the size on the outside.

My wardrobe is different to usual at the moment so I have put the clothes I can't currently wear in a suitcase out of the way. When I return to work I will go through the clothes and return to my wardrobe probably reducing the number of casual clothes I have out. I do hide for 3 months before throwing out for clothes. It gives me the joy of a new wardrobe for free! If I still want to get rid I throw or give it away then.