Drowning in clutter

[sadsack48]

I have this fantasy where everything I own is useful or precious. I would have such a small selection of things that when I got something new it would be noticeable, loved or well used.

The reality is that my house is full of fucking junk. I am so bad at clearing things out and decluttering. Occasionally I sell clothing on Vinted but it doesn’t get close to clearing the backlog of stuff (mine and the kids) that is hanging around still, outgrown or unworn for years. The same with cosmetics, toys, books, drawer upon drawer of nameless tat, paperwork, toys with bits missing, cupboards full of stuff…it’s every single room. I hate it but I can’t summon the energy to do anything about it. It just feels like too big of a task.

Realistically I know I just have to tackle it room by room but I’m always either at work or have my toddler with me and I can’t get fully stuck in.

I’ve become a bit obsessed with watching videos of people who live in tiny homes or vans. Everything they have is perfectly organised and necessary.

Im dreading another Christmas of even more stuff adding to the hoards we already have. Where do I even begin?

Begin now by asking people not to buy more stuff for you and your family for Christmas . If you must exchange gifts, ask for money for your children’s bank accounts. Then slowly start to clear each room. Keep , charity , sell, dump.

Don't bother selling - just donate. I know it galls, but the money isn't worth the time and effort.

Its hard it all just adds up. I am very minimalist and constantly throwing things out. I have loads of out of date cans in my pantry so I am just regularly putting a can or two at a time in the bin. I just need to clear out the cupboards and kitchen drawers then I'll be clutter free. You need a change of a way of being. Throw out kitchen utensils you don't use. If you see a staple in a drawer, throw it out and buy one if you need it again. Throw out books after you read them. It took me moving several times close together to become like that

I’m ruthless at decluttering as it stresses me out and my mantra is the more you own the more you clean!

Start small get a bag put it in a cupboard one thing per day to either the charity shop once that’s full take it and then a new bag!

Best piece of advice I ever got is never leave a room empty handed… if you put washing away in one room walk out with at lease one more thing. You will feel better with each item that goes out of your house - it will be very freeing

i would Recommend reading Marie Komodo’s decluttering book.

making a start is the most important thing, it’s the biggest hurdle. Once you get going it’s quite addictive.

your intention to sell items is possibly stopping the decluttering and making the whole thing more complicated. Instead just charity shop thems or tip. If you really need to sell, bag up a car load of the best value items and do a car boot (charity shop anything left over) so that a car load is gone in one swoop rather then individually selling items online which is rather long winded.

Just do one small area a day if that’s all you have energy for.

I’ve been decluttering for months and now I’m having to be ruthless - before I was doing yes / no / maybe piles and the maybe was turning into yes.
Now if I put it in the maybe pile it just goes.

I have moved countries twice and for about 2 months we live off stuff we have brought with us in a few suitcases. Life is so simple, orderly and tidy and you wonder whether you can just live like this forever... until your 20 foot container arrives with stuff you hadn't remembered you had but now cannot live without.

I have one of these tall boy chest with lots of narrow A4 sized drawers which I find tremendously useful for filing paperwork and keeping everything in order.They are labelled (banking, investments, pension, mortgage, household bills, etc. When a drawer gets full I go through it and shred most of it. Anything important that needs to be kept long term goes in a separate box file.

www.ruma.co.uk/products/staten-sage-pine-wood-sage-tall-boy-unit

I have loads of out of date cans in my pantry so I am just regularly putting a can or two at a time in the bin.

irrespective of what it says on the tin, the contents don’t actually go out of date. Just eat the food…

Don't bother with vinted unless you're getting £10+ per item. It'll take years to declutter if you're selling every knick knack or item of clothing. Black bags and it either goes in the bin or charity shop/clothes bank. You can do it - you just have to be ruthless. You won't miss the stuff.

Starting to declutter is really hard.

I honestly only got on top of it because I was working my 3 month notice, from home, in a role where I'd pretty much already handed over my job to my replacement! So I spent 3 months decluttering, whilst I kept an eye on my emails!

I started with easy wins like books, cookery books, dvds (we didn't even own a did player!), cds.

The key is to sort out a load and drive it immediately to the charity shop or tip. Don't stack it somewhere to deal with later, or you'll create another job for yourself. Another tip is - try not to worry about money that has already been spent. Yes, it's gutting to get rid of £200 of cookery books, but does keeping them mean you've spent any less? No. The money's gone, and the books are just a burden, so get rid.

Anything you've not used for a year or so, or find and forgot you owned - get rid.

Don't worry too much about sentimentality. I have a handful of items that I've moved with me from house to house and which I'll never part with but, for everything else, remember "Things aren't memories". So that teapot that your mum bought you, that you'll never use? Get rid.

With clothing, get rid of anything tatty, which doesn't fit, is stained etc. Then ask yourself "Do I ever reach for this?" We all have items of clothing that are in good shape, fit you well and so on, but we NEVER choose to put them on. So get rid.

We only had a 2 bed terraced house, and it always looked tidy, but I spent that initial 3 months decluttering, and then chipped away for several further YEARS. It's incredible how much stuff accumulates and is tucked away in every corner of your home.

We now have twice the space (we moved) but a 1/3 of the stuff. Cleaning is so easy and everything has a place. I try not to buy too much new stuff, and have a 1-in-1-out policy, but constantly declutter to make sure its never an issue again in future.

My inlaws house breaks my heart. They're borderline horders - the house is piled high - and believe everything they own is either useful, valuable or has enormous sentimental value. All that's going to happen is, they'll die, us kids will hire a skip, and bin the lot.

Forget Vinted and charity and just ditch the lot. Save yourself the stress. It'll only end up in landfill anyway.

Thank you for posting OP - I have the same issue!

I feel guilty about throwing “useful” items, and intend to list or charity shop items, but this delays me and keeps the stuff in the house. I think PP are right who recommended offering on a free giveaway site, and then straight to tip if not collected.

Start very small, just one shelf, cupboard or worktop at time for some easy wins. Take everything off/out then only put back what you actually want or need.

Agree don't bother with Vinted.

"Banish Clutter Forever' is a good read.

https://anglodoorstepcollections.co.uk
I use this for decluttering, it’s collected from your door so no need to trek to the charity shop.

Wow some really helpful advice thank you. I will definitely make a start. I’m not even sure what my barriers are to be honest, I’m pushed for time but there’s no reason I couldn’t do a bit a day. Even half an hour.
I think I struggle with decisions so when clearing my wardrobe out I dwell for ages over whether to keep or get rid of things, even things I haven’t worn in forever because it might just come in handy again. So the whole process takes a lot longer than it should.
But this thread is definitely giving me inspiration.

Ask people to buy experiences for the kids rather than stuff perhaps? Cinema vouchers, theme parks, go karting etc. Possibly not suitable for the age of your dc but just a thought.

Vinted and eBay mean that if you do get rid of something you wish you'd kept, chances are you can buy it back again for not very much.

When I was doing my wardrobe, I divided it into two sections - things I wear on a day-to-day basis, which was actually only 20 or so items, and things I wear rarely or not at all, which was everything else. I did allow myself to keep a few things from the "everything else" pile that I was sentimentally attached to, but tbh as I've been proceeding with decluttering, the attachment has been lessening and they've steadily been going in the charity collection bag too over time.

At this stage, I'd just be looking to purge.

I moved house (and downsized!) during covid when charity shops etc were closed.

I advertised things free on marketplace just to get rid of them.

I put boxes of things on the street with a notice for people to help themselves.

I put bagfuls of books and clothes in the charity bin at the supermarket.

And I got a skip.

When you're drowning in it, it just has to go.

Once I had started, I found it easier.

I had keep, bin, charity, don't know piles but, when they were still too big, some of the charity/don't know piles became a lot more clearly 'bin' stuff.

When you're keeping on top of it, you can afford to tread water - sell on vented etc. When you're drowning in it, you just need to get to the surface.

ADHD sufferer here
I've always been bad at buying on impulse, then losing interest and either storing or re selling again.
I have learnt now though that if i see something i like, do not buy for a few weeks and if have forgotten about it, i didnt really want or need it. same with buying things for the kids. they get a lot less for birthdays and xmas now and we spend more money on experiences instead.
I will be ruthless now and then and just chuck or car boot shit thats been in storage longer than a year. nothing like a good purge and it makes me feel better than the buying more stuff!
Just don't do a Lois Griffin from that episode of Family Guy 😉

At this point, id forget about selling anything and just donate it.
Vinted and eBay are good but if the items do not sell, youre just holding on to them.

Set a timer, 30 minutes and just get going. Dont pull absolutely everything out of the wardrobe but you do know what you haven't worn in ages and what doesnt fit anymore so just let it go. Same for the kids.

Are you on fb? Local neighbourhood groups are a good way of getting rid of things too. Take a picture, post it online with the street name and someone will be along to grab it. In the run up to Xmas, toys will be snapped up.

I also find another walk around with a bin liner the night before bin day is a good way to get rid of stuff.

Also, who is buying xmas presents for the kids? Maybe a bit of honesty saying that you'd prefer nothing bulky, and suggest things, like some new clothes or smaller toys so you not overwhelmed. Maybe both sets of grandparents can club to together for a new bike for example.

Good luck!!

What I do with my wardrobe is any clean items get hung up on h the e right hand side and then I pick clothes for the day from the left… At the end of every season something from the left that wasn’t worn is given to charity …. Also nothing new in without something going in the charity bin bag

I love, and need, threads like this. You are not alone, @sadsack48 ! Let’s do it together 💐

If you don't need to sell for finance purposes, I'd just donate.
If you want to or need to sell then give yourself a time limit before it then goes to be donated. Set aside an area that is for stuff to sell and a time each week to take photos and put things up to sell. I set aside an hour on Saturday to take photos then do a few uploads a night (10 mins max a night over the week).

Is everything in the same place e.g. all our clothes in your wardrobe or at least bedroom. So when you are sorting clothes you have a view of everything? Are the kids outgrown clothes and toys already separated from clothes that fit etc?
Or is everything a bit disjointed and all over the house?
Depending on which could change your approach to how you tackle it.

Set a timer 30-60 mins a day maybe and tackle just one small thing. Adding that up over a month would make a huge difference but day to day it doesn't feel too hard.

Decluttering is really hard and I find it takes a few rounds to actually get down to what you want to keep. I'm do a declutter between sept and dec every year (my pre Christmas clutter). This year I've tackled some boxes in the loft and got rid of about 75% of what I thought I wanted to keep last time I did it. Don't feel it is a one shot and done rule.

Alternatively Stacey's sort out life out programme are looking for applicants.....I'd love to go on that programme!

You are time poor, Vinted is for people with a bit more time on their hands.
A slob comes clean, recommended by a PP, is a great recommendation for this stage in your life.