To ask how to stop yourself from crying

[Threefullskips]

Just that really. Does anyone have any tips to halt tears? I can't be the only one who sometimes gets overwhelmed and can't stop tears flowing involuntarily in public. Distract myself mentally, pinch myself, tongue roof of mouth, please share any discreet tips you have!!

How often are you breaking down into uncontrollable tears in public?

It’s best to let them come tbh! If it’s frequent then you may need some help?

It’s not normal to frequently cry in public.

What’s causing you to cry?

I'm not bawling my eyes out, my eyes get wet and tears fall if I don't stop them. I'm otherwise fighting hard to stay composed and actually do, I'm just wiping my eyes a lot.

Sometimes I'm fine for a month, other times it's a couple of times a week

I'm not sure how normal it is either, but I assume most people just have ways of dealing with it

Are you ND? Only asking as I am and I can be a crier. I'm a silent crier thankfully 😅

That sounds excessive and rather unusual. Have you always been like this or is it more recent behaviour?

Not something I'd recommend unless you have mental health issues. But anti-depressants make it very difficult for me to cry. I really wish I could sometimes though!

I can't really remember times when I felt like crying in public, so frankly, I don't deal with it, it just doesn't happen.

I’ve always pinched my arm really hard (I know you mentioned that though) the pain distracts me. It’s not healthy to keep tears in though, it causes stress to build up in your body, feels so much better to let them out. If you’re having a hard time could you build in more alone time to just be by yourself and chill out (and have a good cry). Take a bit of time off work etc?

What triggers the tears?

If i am feeling tearful/emotional over something i will take deep breaths and focus on exhaling as well as inhaling, and do some mindful thinking to get a sense of perspective (nobody died, lets work out how to fix the problem, lets focus on the future not the mistakes of the past etc)

I have leaky eyes. Any emotion and they betray me, even when I am not that upset/ angry. Sometimes it is just relief after an event, even a relatively minor event.

No not found any solution but would love to have some suggestions.

I don't think I want to take anti depressants but thank you for the info. Maybe I need to reconsider

Not that I'm aware of. But then maybe I am

Imagine you are standing in your kitchen making a cup
of tea, and picture yourself doing all the steps in as much detail as you can. Imagine the cupboard where you keep the mugs, open it up, picture the mugs you have in there. Then where do you keep the teabags, imagine getting them out, putting one in the mug, then boiling the kettle etc etc. I don’t know why but it works!

@JamesWebbSpaceTelescope Me too. It often happens when I stop to talk to someone in the street, and they might be talking about something difficult they have been through, or something heartwarming, and I really can’t help myself - my eyes start to produce tears (but I’m not sad). I have always had an overdeveloped sense of empathy (as a child I couldn’t bear stories where the main protagonist tried hard but came a cropper somehow), and I don’t like stories now that don’t have a happy ending!

I have always wondered whether it is an ND trait that I have - I have other traits (but no diagnosis), but my children are ND.

I think going for a run would do you a lot better than worrying about stress building up when you feel like crying for no reason.

I'm not bawling my eyes out, my eyes get wet and tears fall if I don't stop them
Does this happen only is public or at other times also- whilst driving, at home, at work etc?

I'd see an optometrist incase you have blocked tear ducts which remove the excess fluid from your eyes. Its slightly more common in woman.

Actually no, ironically this makes it worse, like being with my own thoughts without distraction, I'm more of a hillwalker but actively avoid trying to have a cathartic stomp up a hill because I end up stuck outside for ages trying to let my flushed face and red eyes die down enough to return home without people being worried. Maybe weights in my bedroom with 90s dance or a comedy podcast 🤔

What is making you cry in oublic? It very rarely happens to me, normally I’m too busy trying to wrangle my DCs or doing something.

Hi. I am like this. I’ve learned not to stress about it. It’s natural. It’s best to run to the toilet and dab your eyes with a tissue x

if you get distracted by your thoughts on a run, you are not training hard enough 😂

But more seriously, does that happen often? For any specific reason?

A burnout at work or something?

Give myself a mental shake and tell myself that I'm going to look a right dick. Also, sunglasses because you have "sensitive eyes" that water.

clench your bum, sounds stupid but its not possible to cry and clench at the same time.

Since my mum died 20 years ago I cry at absolutely everything - no idea why, it literally just happened overnight. I will cry watching an advert (and I'm not talking JLP tearjerkers either). This is the only thing I've found that actually works, but annoyingly for me it only works while actually clenching so its not sustainable for real emotion. Buns of steel though 😆

Look upwards. Seriously, look up to the ceiling / sky when you feel it happening, it helps.