To not want to snog DH if he hasn’t washed his face?

[Sensitiveskingal]

I have quite sensitive skin prone to breakouts. At bedtime after I have cleansed applied toner, serums, eye cream etc, I will only give DH a few goodnight pecks on the lips (to avoid smooshing my clean face into his stubble) if he hasn’t washed his face.

If he wants a proper snog (involving lots of face to face touching) I insist he has cleaned his face as I feel like there must be so much general oil/pollution/food on an uncleaned face at the end of the day. He mostly forgets to ever clean his face at night so subsequently we don’t get a good kissing session in!

I feel like this doesn’t help our sex life and would like to snog more, but also find it annoying that he can’t just remember to wash his face at night!

Wondering if I’m being a bit pedantic and should just give into the dirty face kiss or is he being rather gross that he doesn’t wash his face at night? Apart from my worry about bacteria causing breakouts, I also just find it really gross and this stops me enjoying the kiss.

He showers every day in the morning and is generally nice and clean smelling - it’s just the lack of nightly face routine that is the issue.

YANBU - he should wash his face at night
YABU - get over yourself you clean freak

That’s gross. Does he brush his teeth?

Yuk, I wouldn’t either if his hygiene is so bad he doesn’t wash at night. It doesn’t take long to wash your face after brushing teeth.
I understand what you mean about beards. My ex’s stubble used to irritate my skin and give me breakouts regardless of washing.
It’s you that ends up looking bad not them.

If he doesn't brush his teeth I can totally see why you wouldn't want to kiss him.

Similarly if he works in a job where he gets his face dirty and doesn't wash it then yes it woukd be totally off putting.

But if it looks clean and he smells ok then I don't see the problem.

Does he have a problem with kissing you after you have put all the eyecream, serums and moisturisers on your face ? Some men would find that off putting.

His hygiene isn't the best at days end, so it turns you off, which is understandable.

Lazy men often turn women off. Completely understandable IMO.

I don’t think most men have a ‘nightly face routine’, to be honest. And your spots are not caused by him contaminating your face.

I mean, I think it’s fine to find it a bit gross and to ask him to wash before kissing you. But you’re overestimating the actual dangers here.

Can you tell if he's washed his face in an evening? If you can't tell, get over it.
If you can see/smell that he hasn't washed, it's worth pursuing.

Fwiw, I don't regularly wash my face at night - only if I've had creams and lotions etc on during the day.

However has the human race reproduced for all these millenia?

Wow, I must be so gross - i dont care if my partner has washed his face or not, but then I only wash my face at night before bed and in the shower (which generally isnt first thing in the morning) I dont actually wash my face in the morning because it dries my skin out for some reason, so I guess I'd be pretty gross to some people!
I do have to be careful when he's just shaved if my skin is going through a rough patch, as the fresh shave/shaving balm convo irritates my already irritated skin, so you have my sympathies on that front OP, its really hard when you are trying to keep things on an even keel!

I dated someone once who had bad skin (really spotty-luck of the draw not hygiene related). I noticed after a few weeks my chin was really suffering, and I've never been a spotty person, even as a teenage. Completely grossed me out. I was basically catching face bacteria. I soon went back to being shallow...

If all this bacteria isn't causing spots on his face why would they cause spots on your face? Skin is meant to have bacteria on it anyway - estimates suggest 1 million bacteria per square centimetre.

If you're getting a rash from him then it will be from the stubble friction on your face. You need to get him to shave not wash.

People on here are absolutely obsessed with washing though so I'm sure you'll get lots of support. It wouldn't even occur to me to check whether my OH had washed his face before I kissed him though.

Who washes their face at night? Thats a morning job

I guess because he has very sturdy skin whereas the slightest breeze/change in humidity/different cleanser causes me issues, eating certain foods, hormones etc so after I am thoroughly cleaned and have serums and stuff with active ingredients it feels wrong to then smoodge his beard food all over it! To be clear I am happy to snog away during the day when we are equally dirty it’s just at night after I have put in all that effort and am squeaky clean myself.

Food on his face? Is he 5? I mean, that would be a turn off for me, invisible 'dirt' not so much. As a pp mentioned, doesn't slathering night creams etc put men off?

Insist that he plunges his face into a bowl of ice and vodka a la Joan Crawford.

It really is the only way.

Does he brush his teeth before bed ?

If no he’s skanky and I wouldn’t went to smog

if yes then a quick splash on face wipe with flannel is needed

or

you snog him then cleanse tone and moisturise etc

Dirty face wouldn’t bother me tbh but I wouldn’t want to have sex if he hasn’t had a shower beforehand.. you say that morning but that’s hours ago! My DH and I both shower in the evening so neither is an issue!

i think if my DH told me I needed to wash my face before he kissed me I wouldn’t be overly impressed

Yes he brushes his teeth! Maybe I am being unreasonable and just have to suck it up 😖

I’m just impressed jealous you spend so much time snogging your husband.

And that no-one else has expressed similar surprise.

Can I ask how long you’ve been married??

Buy some face cleansing wipes and put them next to his side of the bed.

I don’t think I could get worked up about this unless his face was visibly dirty/smelly.
Think of it this way, if you were on a date night with him and fancied a snog outside the restaurant or cinema, would you avoid it and say he needed to go home and wash his face first? Does all the sex/intimacy happen last thing at night? When can spontaneity happen? Even teeth brushing isn’t a must for me! I mean of course ongoing dental hygiene is crucial and if someone never brushed their teeth that would be horrid. But surely people have kisses after they’ve ate a romantic meal and stink of garlic and wine? And what about morning sex?

Meee! Not if I’ve stayed at home all day but if I’ve been outside, the general pollution and what not leaves your face filthy! You can’t see it but if you wipe a cotton ball over your face it will be quite gross! So I always wash my face at night and then just moisturise. If I don’t, my face is more oily and itchy the next morning.

A little tbh

tho it would take him 30 secs to wash face so …….

but if you don’t mind daytime as I said do skin care after you’ve kissed

As I said, I am happy to snog all day with our mutually unwashed faces! It’s just AFTER I have washed my face and done all my bits,
bearing in mind I have sensitive skin and do things like change my pillowcases every couple of days etc - it just seems to defeat the purpose if I then snog my DH whose face is entirely not clean, who has eaten and drunk, cuddled our dog, been slobbered on by our baby and walked around a polluted big city all day! I most as well just not wash my own face either!

Morning sex also fine as we would get up and shower for the day etc after and my sensitive skin wouldn’t be fermenting all night in his face filth 🤣🤣

I like the suggestion of not washing face first, but practically that means I have to lie in bed not quite ready, maybe have a goodnight snog, then get back up and do my face routine. When it would take DH about 20 seconds to just wash his face as well!

Hmm never really thought about it tbh, but my OH showers at night not morning 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe your OH could change his shower from morning to night? xx