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Original poster

To say it’s unusual to have not had a boyfriend by 24?

55 replies

ThisUmberCoat · 28/10/2025 20:57

My DD is 24, and a lovely girl- kind, bright, good job, nice friends, lived away for uni in a different city, generally well-rounded. She’s confided in me that, apart from a few kisses and awkward dates, she has had no real romantic experience. She’s sociable, and not unattractive, but just seems to have missed that part of life somehow.

She mentioned that she’s starting to feel quite down about it now and worries it might never happen for her. I’ve tried to reassure her, but I can tell it’s weighing on her that most of her friends are in relationships, and I had met her dad by her age (by chance!) so no real advice.

She’s getting twitchy that she hasn’t had at least one boyfriend by now so no ‘evidence’ that she’s lovable (which is ridiculous of course, but that’s how she feels!)

FWIW, it does look a bit weird from the outside looking in- she’s probably objectively an outlier for having so little experience, but there doesn’t seem to be some big reason, it just hasn’t happened. But that also makes it harder to ‘fix,’ because there isn’t anything wrong, per se.

She has hobbies (photography, yoga, languages) but groups for those things are hard to find for her age, and she does go out to pubs and clubs but never seems to meet anyone there either (and I’m not sure club-goers would be her preferred demographic!)

Does anyone have any success stories of ‘late starters’ finding their feet and a lovely relationship closer to their mid-twenties, or anything that helped move the needle a little bit?

OP posts:
BerkleyChoo · 28/10/2025 20:58

Do you not think she might be gay?

JHound · 28/10/2025 20:59

I don’t think it’s unusual. I think it’s fairly normal.

AlloaintheMiddle · 28/10/2025 21:01

I don’t think it’s unusual neither.

JulietSierra · 28/10/2025 21:01

Has she not tried dating apps? That’s where the majority of people seem to meet these days.
Shes still super young and I don’t think it’s all that unusual not to have been in a relationship at her age. You say she’s dated a bit, just hasn’t met anyone she wanted to be serious with. She’s got loads of time.

dizzydizzydizzy · 28/10/2025 21:01

I was the same. I'm not gay but I am neurodivergent and ended up in an abusive relationship how many years. DC1 is a year younger than your DC has also never had a relationship and worries about. Sorry no advice apart from solidarity.

northernballer · 28/10/2025 21:02

I don't think 24 is at all unusual tbh.

Hithismyname · 28/10/2025 21:02

My son had his first girlfriend at the age of 24 and they have been together two years now and they have a lovely relationship. He just wasn't that interested in having a girlfriend really untill he met this girl which makes it kinda sweet. I didn't think much of it as there's no rush really.

Thegrassroots26 · 28/10/2025 21:03

I think things are quite different with romantic relationships these days, compared to the past. Perhaps it isn’t as unusual as you think. These kids have grown up in the age of screens, have lived through covid and lockdowns etc, it all must have an affect.
It’s harder to meet in person as people don’t know how to approach each other, and apps come with their own set of problems.

Newsenmum · 28/10/2025 21:03

I think you’d be surprised about how common it is these days.

19lottie82 · 28/10/2025 21:04

I was 28 before I got my first “proper” (meet the parents boyfriend.

JohnofWessex · 28/10/2025 21:06

I can think of a few young people known to me in the same boat

ShyLilacBiscuit · 28/10/2025 21:06

I think it's probably more normal than people think! I was 30 when I met my now husband and he was my first serious, long-term relationship. We're now happily married with two kids. I think when you're older you know what you want (and what you don't) and that can be a real advantage. You sound like a lovely mum. I'm sure your daughter will find someone if that's what she wants.

AutumnLeaves5 · 28/10/2025 21:06

Maybe unusual but it doesn’t make it wrong. I only met my boyfriend at 35 and he was definitely worth the wait. I spent my 20’s questioning whether I was weird, unlovable and worried about what other people thought and then spent my 30’s learning to love myself, living life and travelling the world… accepting I might not meet anyone and being ok with that took the pressure off.

barbismyfriend · 28/10/2025 21:10

My son first gf at 27. DH 27. It’s really not uncommon.

Meadowfinch · 28/10/2025 21:11

I don't think she sounds like a late starter, she sounds educated and discerning, and the trouble is most young men aren't, so it's not unusual at all.

She'll find someone. She just needs men her age to catch up

Cakeandusername · 28/10/2025 21:13

If she doesn’t want to use dating apps (hinge is the one I know some yp use) can she widen her social circle eg volunteering, join a gym.

Hardhats · 28/10/2025 21:15

Why is this something to “fix”?

maybe she just hasn’t met someone she properly fancies yet, it’s hard to force those feelings if you’re not into someone like that.

it’s really not a thing that her mum needs to get involved with

PenguinLover24 · 28/10/2025 21:17

I didn't have a relationship until 25 and we're now married with a child lol. I just wasn't interested/ refused to settle for less/ put up with bullshit that I saw other people put up with just to be in a relationship. I found my now husband on tinder and to try and avoid the idiots I was very open and specific on my profile about what I wanted (not looks wise more lifestyle/ morals etc).

GreyCloudsLooming · 28/10/2025 21:19

I think it’s quite normal. I have two lovely DDs, and they got their first boyfriends age 26 and 25. Neither are the pubbing and clubbing sorts. They never had boyfriends at school.

Cakeandusername · 28/10/2025 21:20

Hardhats · 28/10/2025 21:15

Why is this something to “fix”?

maybe she just hasn’t met someone she properly fancies yet, it’s hard to force those feelings if you’re not into someone like that.

it’s really not a thing that her mum needs to get involved with

But mum says dd has confided in her and it’s getting her down. It’s natural for a mum to want to help, hence posting here.
What career does she do? Not advisable to strike up romance in office but are there any networking or young professional type events that might widen her circle.

Clarinet1 · 28/10/2025 21:22

I know it’s hard to feel you’re the only one not in a relationship but far better to be single than with some abusive pig! (Just look at some of the stories on here!
Also, if she has interests, they do say that nothing attracts like a busy sign!
As PP have said, I’m sure it will happen if it’s meant to be.

saynotofondant · 28/10/2025 21:23

It’s not the quantity of relationships, it’s the quality. That’s what I was told when I was 23 (now 37) and bemoaning my permanently single status.

I met my now-husband a few months later… 😊

I’d been on dates, even dated a couple of guys for a couple of months each, but I never knew what it was like to really like someone - let alone to fall in love - until I met my now DH.

If she’s into languages, has she tried a language tandem? That’s a nice way to get to know someone. You can also ask nosy/deep questions fairly early on, in the guise of improving your language skills ;-)

Lampzade · 28/10/2025 21:23

My dd is nearly 23 and has never dated .
She hasn’t even kissed someone .
She is very attractive so doesn’t have any problems attracting men, she just hasn’t met someone who interests her

MoominMai · 28/10/2025 21:24

northernballer · 28/10/2025 21:02

I don't think 24 is at all unusual tbh.

Agree.

I’d not long left uni at 24 and was focussed on my first graduate job. Had a few dates but no one clicked so just happily lived alone with my books and goldfish until my first BF in my 30s. Couldn’t care less what anyone else thought especially as they all seemed to be moaning behind their partners backs anyway and there was me just couldn’t wait to snuggle into my PJs and into a good book whenever I got in from work! I think it’s probably more common than you’d think.

MrsPrendergast · 28/10/2025 21:25

My understanding is that a lot of young people are on Hinge and find dates that way