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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say it’s unusual to have not had a boyfriend by 24?

55 replies

ThisUmberCoat · 28/10/2025 20:57

My DD is 24, and a lovely girl- kind, bright, good job, nice friends, lived away for uni in a different city, generally well-rounded. She’s confided in me that, apart from a few kisses and awkward dates, she has had no real romantic experience. She’s sociable, and not unattractive, but just seems to have missed that part of life somehow.

She mentioned that she’s starting to feel quite down about it now and worries it might never happen for her. I’ve tried to reassure her, but I can tell it’s weighing on her that most of her friends are in relationships, and I had met her dad by her age (by chance!) so no real advice.

She’s getting twitchy that she hasn’t had at least one boyfriend by now so no ‘evidence’ that she’s lovable (which is ridiculous of course, but that’s how she feels!)

FWIW, it does look a bit weird from the outside looking in- she’s probably objectively an outlier for having so little experience, but there doesn’t seem to be some big reason, it just hasn’t happened. But that also makes it harder to ‘fix,’ because there isn’t anything wrong, per se.

She has hobbies (photography, yoga, languages) but groups for those things are hard to find for her age, and she does go out to pubs and clubs but never seems to meet anyone there either (and I’m not sure club-goers would be her preferred demographic!)

Does anyone have any success stories of ‘late starters’ finding their feet and a lovely relationship closer to their mid-twenties, or anything that helped move the needle a little bit?

OP posts:
CandiedPrincess · 29/10/2025 09:55

Clearly bucking the trend here but from the circles that my own young adults mix in, I'd say it was highly unusual! That's not saying there's anything wrong with it, but I find it unusual from my own experiences of being around young adults.

Sophiessister · 29/10/2025 09:58

BartonInthebeans · 28/10/2025 22:32

To look at it from the flipside, it's a positive she hasn't felt pressured into having a relationship with someone just out of a perceived need to prove something to peers/family etc (as I did, admittedly many moons ago).

I agree with this. When I was younger there was a 'something wrong with you' attitude to people not in relationships. Thankfully, now no need for bad relationships if you dont want and isn't wait for a good one.

TheNinny · 29/10/2025 10:15

first proper official boyfriend at 28 - though i had been on some dates, kissed and had sex by then. I’d fallen in love too but it only unrequited 😩 I’m ND or gay but wasn’t very confident and was shy despite being considered fairly attractive in my 20’s. I also had men want to date me for whatever reason I didn’t take up (mainly as i was head over heels for someone who didn’t give a shit).

ComfortFoodCafe · 29/10/2025 10:18

Twenty years ago, yeah itd of been unusual but nowadays it seems the norm especially if you look on SM. Know of a few people in their 30s whose never had a relationship.

Amotherlife · 29/10/2025 10:26

I know several people in their mid to late 20s who have not had a relationship yet, though of course that doesn't mean they ever will either. However my good friend's dd is now in her early 30s and never had a boyfriend till a couple of years ago - they now live together. (Can't comment on whether there were any prior experiences of any kind as her mum doesn't know!)

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