AIBU To not want worker to just walk into my house.

[Maxsmum255]

Hello, First time poster so I apologise in advance for any mistakes, I wasn't sure what to title this so I hope its ok.

A bit of back story I am disabled and mostly bed bound, I have a hospital bed in my home that was provided for me by my occupational therapist which I truely appreaciate as I wouldn't be able to afford it by myself and I would end up with pressure sore if I was in a normal bed.

This leads to today when the company that provides the beds and services them wanted to come out and service the bed, Unfortunately my sister who takes care of me and anwsers the door and things like that was out as she had to go to an appointment, so it just wasn't an option to have the worker come today plus they said they would call before they were coming so we could cancel or not but there was no call.

It was 10.30am this morning and I heard a knock at the door but as I am unable to answer the door myself I just had to ignore it, my mum who lives across the road from me called as she saw the worker at my door, I told my mum that I wasn't available to have the worker come in my house. My mum told the worker this and he got rude and said that he wouldn't be leaving without getting into my house.

For some context I live in a small cul de sac that has alot of disabled and elderly people who live here and have carers who come in everyday and as they are also bed bound the carers tend to just walk right in their houses as some have keys and others just have the doors unlocked, Thankfully my sister takes care of me so I don't need carers to come in. The worker told my mum that he would just wait for my carers to come and he would go in with them. My mum told him that I don't have carers and he said that as he travelled 40 miles to service my bed he would just walk into my house and do it anyway.

I was scared at this point as I suffer from bad anxiety and I knew that my sister had forgot to lock the front door(she usually always locks it but was in a rush this morning and forgot). So I knew he could just walk in if he tried so I was just shaking stuck in my bed and I heard him outside shouting at my mum and knocking on my windows and door. He told her that he wouldn't be leaving until he got in my house one way or another. He was outside for 30 minutes just sitting in his van, my mum then rung me to let me know that he had moved on to some other peoples houses to do their services even though he told my mum that he had come all this way just to do my bed and I was costing him money. He also threatened to come and remove my bed as he said it will fail insurance if he doesn't see it today. even though I have had this bed for about 2 years and they were supposed to service it in July but they never came.

I was upset for until my sister got back home about an hour later and I could finally relax as I knew he was gone. I am terrified of him coming back and just walking in my house tomorrow or another day. My sister is furious and tried to call the company but couldn't get through today so she will try again tomorrow. His attitude was really scary as he goes into vulerable peoples homes and seems to think he can do what he wants.

AIBU - Should I have just let him walk in even though I was still just in my nightie and waiting for my sister to help dress me, plus in order for him to service the bed my sister would have to help transfer me to my wheelchair.

Sorry for the long post.

It doesn't sound like he has the right temperament for working with people at all, let alone people who may be more vulnerable. I hate when these companies say they will call, and then just turn up without calling first.

Thank you, Yes my mum said he seemed very aggressive.

Sounds very scary and he behaved reprehensibly. Hope your sister complains to the company and you get a better service in future. You were absolutely not being unreasonable.

Thank you.🙂

If your mum was about /lives across the road and saw and spoke to the man why didn’t she come in with him

the bed needed a service or whatever he was doing. And someone was about to let him in /be with you

sounds you were a little difficult if he has travelled to you so I get why he was annoyed /frustrated

your mum could have helped you dress or put a cardi /dressing gown on over your nightie and helped you to your chair /wheelchair

Sorry this happened. He sounds very unreasonable. He ought to phone ahead to check it's convenient - surely it could have been the case that nobody was in, in which case he could not have accessed the property anyway.

You have a right to your privacy, 100%. Lots of us would not feel comfortable alone with a strange man in our house while in our night clothes.

I hope your sister is able to speak to the company and complain about this guy. It's rare for me to agree with making a complaint about anybody, as in general I try to be understanding about the pressures people face in their jobs. But there is no excuse for being threatening and intimidating towards a vulnerable woman.

On a happier note your sister sounds great - glad you have her in your corner!

so it just wasn't an option to have the worker come today plus they said they would call before they were coming so we could cancel or not but there was no call
Why didn't you ortour sister called to reschedule the appointment for another day? He was rude and unprofessional but I don't understand why you thought it was OK to let him come knowing you'd just tell him to go away. Not clear why your mum wasn't able to help either.

It’s equally rude to let him come to a job knowing it would be a waste of time.
Why couldn’t your mum come over and help?

this is tricky as if it is true that he has travelled that far just to do your bed i can kind of understand his frustration.
however you are obviously very vulnerable.
Could your mum not have come over and let him in?
Have you adressed your anxiety?
it does seem a bit silly that all he had to do was open the door and deal with what he had to do.
what would you do if your sister couldnt look after you and you had to have carers coming in?
sorry to sound a bit mean but i think this is something that you need to get over.

How do you know she could? I’d assume if it was as simple as mum doing it that’s what would have happened

He was a jerk for sure, but I feel like this is one of those situations where everyone is at fault and has a part to play here.
Your sister shouldn’t have waited for a phone call to cancel, that’s wasting everyone’s time a simple phone call days ago could of avoided this.

Im unsure why no one called the company or even your sister to say “Hey one of the workers is outside to service the bed but no one is available for that”

Hopefully your sister puts in a formal complaint for his attitude and he won’t be back personally to service the bed.

How strange. If there had been a house fire would you have waited for your sister or made a different choice?

You should have tried to contact the company to cancel but I would most definitely complain about this guy's attitude. This wont be the first he's behaved like this and he should not be anywhere near vulnerable people.

Agree with this.
Sounds like mistakes all round, but he shouldn't have spoken to your mum like that, or insinuated he was going to come in anyway. Hopefully the company can sort that part out.
Obviously it is important to get the bed serviced and he is right about the insurance part, so insist they send someone else out, not the same staff member.
I think it would be best to ensure that your door is locked from now on at all times you are alone.

I agree with what other people have said. I’m not condoning the man’s rude and aggressive attitude in any way, but I can see why he was angry if he had travelled 40 miles for an appointment that you could have cancelled but didn’t. I don’t understand why your mum couldn’t have helped you to get out of bed and into your wheelchair. But ultimately, I think your sister contributed massively to your anxiety by not locking the front door when she went out. If you’re largely bedbound, you are clearly fairly vulnerable and it’s very concerning that she leaves you alone in a home thst anyone could just walk into.

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. Local authorities usually have the contract with providers for community equipment for items such as hospital beds. If you don’t have any luck with making a complaint to the servicing company, I would suggest you contact your councils adult social care department and report this to their quality assurance team.

Maybe the mum was too old to help @Maxsmum255 get out of bed - I don’t know

but she could have walked over and be there for support while the worker did his job

op would be moaning if her bed stopped working/broke due to refusing a service

Don’t expect much support on here, I was absolutely lambasted recently because I was cross that an Amazon delivery driver recently tried to enter my house and it scared the life out of me!
But you were right to be very upset, what is it with these bloody entitled men and their aggressive attitudes?!
I hope your sister gets to make a complaint today, it was disgusting behaviour by the workman, he didn’t call to say he was on his way, so tough shit if he wasted his time getting to you.
I hope you have a better day today xx

Tech on your thread @Ilovemychocolate he thought the door was to a porch not into your living room

and why do so many people not lock their doors

mine is says locked and mini blondes knows if she goes out into garden or to the car to lock door once shes back in and she’s 8 !!

Yanbu.

Someone doing that job needs to understand that someone vulnerable and with limited mobility and who needs help to ger dressed cannot just have a worker like him turn up without a time having been prearranged. If you'd known he was coming and could arrange to be dressed and have someone with you (sister or mum) whole he worked, that would be fine. Getting aggressive wasn't the way to make you feel comfortable about having him in your home.

You should put in a complaint about him while emphasising that there will be no problem admitting one of their workers to do the job, if an appropriate time can be arranged.

I sincerely hope a huge complaint has been made, it’s appalling how aggressive he was. Utterly inappropriate and threatening to a vulnerable client.

A friend of mine runs a company that deals with things like beds etc for vulnerable people. I know that they are finding it hard to cover all the areas they are in and try and book jobs in the same area on the same day.

They would be frustrated in this incident as it would be hard to get back to the area in the short-term/medium term. However they would never behave in the manner that you and your mother experienced. They would just ask you to reschedule and to contact head office to do so.

I didn't know he was coming as they didn't call to let me know.

He didn't tell me he was coming. My mum is also disabled so could't help me.

Thank you for understanding, they didn't book in with me so I had so idea he was coming.