I was with my ex for over two years, I decided that I should end our relationship because I wasn't always able to give him the time he wanted due to work and family. There was no indifference, I still loved him, but it became untenable watching him suffer, or give me silent treatment. We remained very close, still slept together at times, and spoke to each other most days. I was not interested in anyone else and made no attempt to move on or date. He was a safe space for me and I didn't want anyone else, although of course I was stupid to break up with him.
10 months on, we met up, had a lovely time, felt like a real reconciliation, he told me he is still very much in love with, and we slept together. He told me he'd been on a couple of dates with a woman, but this wasnt the first time he'd dated, of course he's entitled to do so. I said how sorry I was, and how I'd made a mistake and should never have broken up with him. After we slept together he told me he was seeing the woman he'd been out witb twice the next day. I was very upset but again, my fault for letting him go.
Over the period of the next week he repeatedly told me how much he loves me, he wants to marry me, I'm everything to him etc. Nearly a week later he told he he lay naked with this woman the night after we slept together, then told me he was meant to be meeting her brother at the weekend. He says he didn't realise he was in a relationship but that he would break it off.
Anyway , this has gone on for over a fortnight. Push and pull, telling me he loves me, he's leaving her, he doesn't want to be with her, whilst simultaneously arranging to meet with her, he took her out for birthday. He is all over me one moment reassuring me about how he feels, but the next told me he couldn't promise he wouldn't sleep with her. He is nearly 51.
There is nothing good for me here now. I could never have imagined this behaviour from this man. I can't belive I allowed myself to get drawn in, I'm working with my therapist to explore why I belived and accepted lies and breadcrumbs and have lived on adrenaline and anxiety during this.
I feel guilty about it. Their relationship is very new, maybe two months, is the consensus always not to say anything, even if its gently with some proof?