To not want to go back to my therapist because she films herself crying on Instagram and overshares?

[MossAndGlass]

I saw a therapist quite intensely from 2020 to mid-2021 after estranging from my family. She was genuinely helpful and supported me through a really painful time. Eventually, I reached a place where I felt more equipped to cope and stopped regular sessions. Since then, I’ve only booked the occasional one-off when something major happened.

Recently, I’ve been through a lot and could probably do with speaking to someone again. But here’s the thing, this therapist now runs a professional Instagram page where she films herself crying and shares a lot about her personal emotions, thoughts and reflections. It’s not anonymous venting, it’s direct to camera, emotional footage. And now I just can’t take her seriously anymore.

I respect vulnerability but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me, especially in a professional setting where the focus is supposed to be the client. At the same time, we have a lot of history and she already knows all the context around my family situation, which makes it hard to imagine starting again with someone new.

AIBU to feel put off by this and not want to go back? Or am I being overly judgemental about a therapist showing emotion online?

Your opinion is not based on scientific evidence though:

mentalhealth.bmj.com/content/26/1/e300626?

Although you're probably right that it is an American import.

Even the NHS employs lots of counsellors. There are different types of talking therapies and there is one that is very based on practical solutions - it's called CBT. I am currently having it now and it has been very helpful.

OP - I certainly think your therapist's behaviour is concerning and unproductive, so I would be cautious. As she has helped you a lot in the past, I would still consider having therapy with her. Maybe ask her something like: "I've seen your videos on Instagram and I'm not sure how I feel about them." If she gives your a defensive of minimising response, I would definitely avoid her in your shoes. If she is open and honest and most importantly shows an interest in your wellbeing, then I would condier asking for an appointment.

She has poor personal boundaries and is unprofessional. Is she trying to drum up business by using her own circumstances? Is counselling officially regulated? Does she make comments about her clients too? I'd be passing on my concerns about her online content to whomever regulates that profession.

Find someone else!

They are all at it.

Lawyers all over tiktok touting their services and giving snippets of advice.

Barristers sharing legal aspects of things in the news. They're also self-employed so touting their services.

Doctors and other medical professionals doing live Q&As.

An American teacher was fired recently for filming his day at work, with kids included in the footage.

Same thing happened to some store workers who were also filming their secure entries to buildings.

The age of the internet is funny. These people and their egos don't belong in professional settings as far as I'm concerned. I can't take any of them seriously at all and I wouldn't want to see a doctor who was going to be on tikok later, and although not revealing my name, could talk about me. I could see it, I would know they were talking about me even if no one else did.

I'm surprised they are allowed to get away with it.

CrazyGoatLady can I ask how you changed career? I’ve been in this line of work since I graduated and tbh would probably like to get out of it at this point but I’m not qualified to do anything else!

It put me right off. I honestly had no idea whether it was normal or completely inappropriate, but it just made alarm bells go off. I want clear boundaries in that kind of situation that go both ways. The other thing that put me off her was that she talked as much if not more than I did, telling me about her personal life, her kids etc.
I’ve never had a mh professional behave like that before.
If you think they are being inappropriate, my advice is to stop seeing them.
My sister was seeing a counsellor who was like this at the beginning then down the line, he asked her out on a date 😬

Why are you asking OP? She's got her own issues, save your money and find a proper therapist.

This is why I always recommend that people see a practitioner psychologist if they can. While the field is not perfect, it is at least regulated and the public can check the HCPC register.

It’s a shame because there are some great therapists, but it’s unbelievably difficult to find out whether they’re actually qualified. I’ve seen so many people lately putting 2-day online courses on private practice websites and saying it’s “level 8 trauma training”. You wouldn’t know it’s just a paid for online course without digging into it, and people looking for support shouldn’t have to do hours of research to find a good therapist.

I worry about coming across as a snob (especially as I’m a psychologist) but until therapy is regulated I don’t think there’s another option. That being said, I’m seeing more and more aspiring psychologists on social media sharing their day-to-day work.

I did think it seemed odd, I won’t go into other details as it actually could be outing! 🙈 I can’t say I believe much in counselling as such and never felt it that useful but seeing him keeps me in the system and he’s given me access to other MH services which is useful. It’s NHS so it’s not costing me specifically, so every few weeks I pop in and see him.

Like a lot of people I guess, my route out of front line clinical work was management and training. I was managing a team of CAMHS counsellors when the safeguarding lead left and I took that on, they put me through safeguarding L4 training. After I left there post Covid, I lectured in a university healthcare dept part time and freelanced. I'm no longer in HE, I now manage a clinical training department, which includes L&D for internal clinical staff, selling and providing clinical CPD for external customers, and overseeing the placements and preceptorships of trainee and newly qualified clinicians.