Stuck in hotel room

[ThatFunnyRoseSnail]

Writing this whilst on holiday abroad, 3yo DS sleeping next to me whilst DH is downstairs enjoying the hotel entertainment with family and friends. MIL did offer to babysit whilst DH and I had a few drinks down at the bar catching up with old friends but she has never babysat before (although does spend a few hours every couple of weeks with her whilst DH is there). Just feel a bit down that i am always the default parent and whilst DH did offer to stay up in the room, it felt a bit like paying lip service to the idea rather than a genuine offer. I am probably just whining over nothing but this situation has happened on more than one occasion and its always me that’s expected to sacrifice the “fun” as DS just cannot say no to any type of socialising. I should mention DD is a bit poorly and keeps waking up hence why i’m reluctant to let MIL deal with it all.

she has never babysat before

Well presumably she raised your H just fine. I'm sure she could cope with you being downstairs in the same building.

I think this one is on you OP.

You've had 2 offers, from husband and mil. You could have taken one up.

Take turns with your husband.

Stop being a martyr. Your MIL offered to look after your son/daughter and you said no. That’s on you.

You are crazy! You are hardly far away and, as others say, she managed to raise your DH.

Can you not take your child downstairs? I spent many holidays as a young child sleeping on 2 chairs that were shoved together in hotel bars in the evenings.

You werent expexted to sacrifice fun though. Two people have offered and it sounds like you refused so you could feel miserable. You are being a martyr.

Your MIL has offered to babysit your DH has also offered to take his turn parenting and you've poo pooed both. I'm not one for being nasty to folk on the net just because but you're being a bit of a martyr. You perhaps are the default parent but I think you've contributed to this. Let your MIL and DH do a stint what's the worst that could happen!

I am probably just whining over nothing

Yup.

Agree with the martyr comments -what did you actually want? For DH to stay with you upstairs, or did you want to go? If you wanted to go, you should have said yes to DH staying. If MIL wanted to help, surely she could have text you if she couldn't cope?

This!!

Two people offered to look after them for you

you took issue with both offers

there is no need for you to be the default- this is on you I am afraid!

Ridiculous and attention seeking. If your mother in law had any worries if her grandson wakes up she could phone your or your husband immediately so your return.

You sound like a bit of a martyr- 2 people offered and you said no

You're playing the martyr here op. Let your MiL sit with him while you and your DH have a nice time together. Being parents of a toddler is hard, take the offers of help when they come!

How many kids? You said about a 3 year old DS but also mentioned a DD. What's the issue with your MIL babysitting? Not as though you will be far away if there's an issue is it.

Can't see any reason to moan when you have chosen this situation

You had 2 offers plus you have the option of going down with ds and let him sleep on a couple of chairs or in pushchair like most people do on holiday. You have made the choice to stay in the room now your moaning about it

You, DH and MIL could have all done an hour each, spread the load, they did offer.

Do half and half. Your turn now.

Yeah. On you. Let MIL babysit.

Martyr.

"I should mention DD is a bit poorly and keeps waking up hence why i’m reluctant to let MIL deal with it all"

But you'll just be downstairs, not an ocean away @ThatFunnyRoseSnail

Two offers of help and you said no; this is on you.

FWIW - we still took a buggy on holiday at age 3, even though DC were long out of it by this age at home. They slept in the buggy in the evenings if we were out. Someone having to sit in a hotel room all night from 7pm sounds like absolute hell on holiday. I wouldn’t have gone away at all if our bedtimes were this rigid.

YABU for being a martyr.

Don't make yourself a martyr OP, take DS down with you in the pram or accept the babysitting offers

It sounds like you’ve made yourself the default parent. Many women do , so that’s not uncommon. However, since it’s making you resentful, then you should change it, and you’re the only one who can change it. So you take MIL/DH up on their offers, or you tell DH it’s his turn, you send DD to DH when she needs something and so on and you ensure to have time to yourself and some fun in every day life, not just on holiday.

You can’t have it both ways.