Skirts to school

[G1ngerbread]

I’ll start with saying I don’t think anybody should be wearing skirts to school, but it is what it is.
However, my Brother and Sil have a 5 year old boy who has expressed that he wants to wear a skirt to school. This has been discussed with me, but they have not specifically asked for my opinion so I should probably keep it to myself I suppose.
Sil has discussed with school and they have not objected. I don’t think they have particularly encouraged it, but have been careful to not encourage gender stereotypes. This has now resulted in a child who does not understand societal norms.
What would you do? Would you say something? I’m so worried about bullying, but also where this could lead.

This.

Let them figure it out themselves. If you say anything it probably wont make a difference anyway and may affect your relationship with them. Leave them to it and enjoy watching with your popcorn.

It's tricky because in theory I'm all for breaking stereotypes, but let the adults fight that fight first. It's normalized enough for girls to wear trousers that there isn't that pressure on girls.

Perhaps more people should try and break down stupid gender stereotypes. There's no actual reason boys can't wear skirts.

I think this is what is underlining my worry, especially teachers seem to be voicing their support of self-expression. I’m worried they’ll encourage it or not ideas in his head.

I agree. Just don’t want my nephew as the guinea pig.
But you are correct in that it makes not a jot of difference to anything what somebody wears. But as a society we are not in that place.

I was serious about a kilt. Google military/utility kilts. People actually do wear them outside of Scottish weddings, I know a guy who wears one most of the time. Next do a kilt-style child's school skirt. I think that would be fine for a 5 year old boy with grey knee socks.https://www.next.co.uk/style/st360061/595660

In order to break down gender stereotypes, we do need to accept boys wearing skirts as well as girls wearing trousers.
In somr schools, being transgender is perceived as cool - not saying your nephew is or wants to be transgender.
I would only worry about it, if he starts saying he wants to be a girl or to use the girls toilets.
As an aside, skirts are fine for school. Didn't stop me doing anything I wanted to do and much more comfortable.

Give him free choice. If he gets teased and dislikes it, he'll stop doing it. There are 2 fairly fluid children in one of DC's schools primary classes. No one bats an eye.

DS 3 went through a phase like this a few years ago he would sleep in night dresses and went to school in jersey stretch trousers he finds regular clothing too restricted he stopped using the nightdresses after about a year (still no real pj's just loose shorts) but the girl jersey stretch trousers have stuck fortunately he is at a special school where they are not bothered by "material"

What im saying is it might be sensory he might be uncomfortable and restricted

I think other children will notice and some will make unkind comments. DS had to take lunch on a school trip and took his lunch bag which has rainbows , clouds, lightning etc on it, another boy laughed at him and said it was babyish. DS told him that rainbows are science you can see and explained refraction 😂, he's a confident child and possibly ND, but he's also only 6 and children can be cruel.

If the child is saying it's not fair he can't wear a skirt, then the parents should have had the discussion about how plenty of things in life aren't fair, sometimes we have to do what we don't want to etc. instead of asking the head to change a rule.

It should have been shut down by saying boys wear trousers, you're a boy, therefore you wear trousers. Presumably he could wear shorts instead of a skirt?

He will get teased, if not by his classmates certainly by older children.

I think you would be perfectly fine to say something. The parents don't have to take your comments on board but you can certainly give your opinion.

Let the kid wear what he wants, good grief!

'worried about where it will lead to', maybe to someone who is comfortable in their own skin and not chained by gender stereotypes? Sounds great, the world would be a better place if nothing belonged to a particular gender other than literal medical things.

Love this ❤️

We can agree to disagree

We live in a big city so I guess you may want to factor that in. But none of the kids in my y1 dd’s class would care at all. They might mention it briefly as an oddity. Like they mention someone hopped into class or Joe has a new sister now. That’s it.

There wouldn’t be negativity unless the adults around them suggested it was noteworthy. And most of the adults here understand that people should wear what they want. Maybe just let his parents support him in being the kind of boy he wants to be and stop with the harmful gender stereotypes. You actively harm boys when you limit them this way. Would you say the same to a girl who wanted short hair?

Tell him he needs to follow the uniform policy and when he is older, he can wear whatever he likes.

I honestly think it’s not a massive deal. Kids broadly speaking don’t care. And it’s just clothes. I love the suggestion of a kilt. There are societies where men don’t wear trousers (lot of Muslim guys round here seem to go for something floor length and tunic shaped, I don’t know what it’s called). It’s just cultural expectations and they can shift. 2/300 years ago men would have been in tights here! Maybe it’ll come back round!

Crack on, but don't start whining about teasing or escalate that into 'bullying and then expect the school to waste their time sorting out the problems they've created.

I don’t think little kids will give a shit. And by the time they do, he’ll realise that to and stop doing it. Or he won’t, as he won’t care

also, why should ‘no-one be wearing skirts’? Please articulate

But….you don’t ‘own’ your nephew. You’re really quite a periphery person in his life. He probably doesn’t - and as he grows up won’t- give a shit what you think? Stop with the main character syndrome

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-13362586?app-referrer=deep-link

There’s a kid at our school who wears princess dresses for any kind of dress up day and i used to see him in social settings before he started school and he always had some kind of sequins/ dress. Never wore girls uniform tho. The mum said to me that she’s choosing her battles, if he ever says he wants to be a girl, that’s a conversation but right now, she’s letting him be. Not helpful, just sharing

It's their business. Leave them to it.

FWIW, in my DCs' primary school, the was a girl who wore boys uniform and boys shoes. Nobody cared.

Precisely. Why parents use their own children as the weapons to fight these battles, I don’t know. It’s so unkind, and entirely preventable.