I’d keep an eye for now, the teacher shouldn’t be making it negative straight away as at this point, children who are neurodivergent likely won’t have a diagnosis or parents even yet aware, so they should be monitoring and putting it forward to you in a way that’s not necessarily negative. The things they are describing are things my dd does who’s 5, mainly the hard to concentrate at carpet time, if she’s made to sit and watch she cannot focus or pay attention, so the teacher allows her to stand and move slightly, like swaying etc (something she’s done since she could stand unaided). My daughter is now on the pathway to being assessed for ADHD, I myself have ADHD and eldest sister has audhd so when she started school we already knew she was showing lots of signs and is likely neurodivergent. That probably made a difference to how the school are reacting to it, as they are being really supportive and she has a send support plan already in place. I’m really disappointed the school have come at this in a negative way, it might be that she is just a neurotypical child who, because she’s older, is just abit bored sometimes and confident when she’s with friends. It could be though that there is ADHD, but the school have a duty of care to put in place for children who are neurodivergent, diagnosed or not, which would be a send support plan with interventions to help her from becoming overstimulated, and will help her focus in a way that she can do.
Have you noticed any other behaviours at home op? Ask your daughter what does her head feel like , when she thinks. I say this because as someone with ADHD my head and mind is noisy every single minute, I have conversations, music, tv shows, check lists, narration of what I’m doing all going around over and over at the same time. I asked my 5 year old this and she said it’s very busy and noisy and I keep singing songs. So very similar to my own mind! This might help you to see if she’s showing any other ADHD traits and will help you to navigate from there.
I’d take a look on the ADHDuk website aswell, there’s a section for kids and families where it goes into detail around children, especially girls and how they present with ADHD ( most girls present differently to boys, and mask quite a lot) that will give you some good insight into ADHD and how it can look with young children.
I’d also request another meeting with the teachers and depending on if you do think there are signs of ADHD, I’d request that the senco be involved and then you could discuss putting in place a support plan so your daughter can have help and support whilst in school. Early intervention is so important, my main concern with my youngest was that my own experience and my eldest experience ( who we only suspected of neurodivergence beginning of year 5) was that it was so much harder once symptoms had started becoming more obvious, the masking wasn’t happening and the overwhelm and overstimulation was forcing burnout. You have to work backwards at that point, so my main goal with my youngest was to start as early as possible, so if it is ADHD , she doesn’t get told off constantly for being ‘ naughty’ but rather, she’s supported and has interventions in place.
Happy to talk more about this if you need, as I know I’m coming from a point of view that’s very used to neurodivergence in the household, and it can be really daunting at first, so if you think there’s any possibility or you see signs yourself, or if you would like some advice around assessments and how to get those via RTC I’m happy for you to DM.
Good luck! x