To ask if my joke to new work colleague would have offended you?

[Abbeymum]

We are quite a small team and had a new staff member join this week. It’s a very friendly and jokey culture so we are always light heartedly ribbing each other.

Anyway - new colleague was eating a salad with two boiled eggs. We were chatting and she says that’s a usual weekday lunch for her. I replied that I bet she has stocked up on the air freshener for when she’s home.

Blank face…sense of humour failure on her part?

Are you all quite young?

I wouldn’t have been offended but I would have inwardly cringed and been a bit embarrassed for you and think you have the brain cells and sense of humour as a small child.

People who pass jokes and comments either about farting or the smell of food towards people eating completely normal, common and healthy foods like eggs, sprouts, beans is so childish and a bit braindead. Like how a four year old child might pinch their nose in response to seeing Brussel sprouts and dramatically wailing “ewwwwww stinky!” It’s just an incredibly immature ‘joke’ and a very odd thing for a normal intelligent adult to say.

I agree @CrispySquid .
Well said.

I would also never, ever joke with a new employee.

They’d likely take everything to heart because they don’t know the environment and already have high anxiety.

I instantly saw that my workplace was very jokey but some didn’t joke with me for a good 6 months at least.
It was only when I started to be more jokey with them that they started being a bit jokey back and even then it wasn’t as bad as with the other staff.

Some people do not like banter and for those that do, they have boundaries and so it’s really important for you to tread lightly until you know more about your new employee and what he/she is comfortable with.

I can only think that this is a reverse. I just cannot believe you would say such an old-fashioned, immature, uneducated thing.

The person no one at work could stand was the one who constantly poked their nose into who was eating what. Embarrassing and intrusive. There’s your answer

Do you have a sign up saying, "You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps!"?

That seems to be the level of wit we're dealing with here.

You can't make jokes like that with someone you just met, you don't know yet what kind of person they are and whether they are the type that engages in banter or not, and they don't know you and whether you are being light hearted or are actually criticising their lunch.
I just started at a new workplace and the manager made a point of telling me about the joke culture during my induction, so I knew what to expect. I don't joke around with people until I've gotten to know them, and know what their sense of humour is like, just seems sensible to me.

Dh has just got back from dropping the dogs to the kennels, so once he's finished packing the car, we are off on our holidays.

Like a few others I wouldn't have been offended but I wouldn't be sure what you meant either

I would be cringing inside if I thought that was the level of stupid comments I was going to have to put up with and I'm a bit fan of office bants

I agree. In my training for my job working with vulnerable people we were told not to use the word banter or to joke at other people's expense as it's a thinly disguised insult

I would have got the joke, wouldn’t have found it funny, and would find you very cringe. Who even does that with someone they don’t know well?

I have a few jokey colleagues but we joke about things that are actually funny. Not farts and poo like teenage boys.

At best, it's joking about bodily functions while someone is eating which is pretty unpleasant.

At worst, it's an attempt to humiliate a new colleague by insinuating that they must smell bad, which is also pretty unpleasant.

In between are varying shades of food shaming and toilet humour that definitely have a very niche appeal so probably not great for someone you don't know that well, especially in a work environment.

Exactly 🤣

Not funny, poor form by you.

Why assume people are offended because they don’t find a joke funny?

When did not liking a joke or finding it funny equate to being offended?

People have different types of humour and for some, they wouldn’t even get the joke or know what OP was on about due to different associations therefore not laugh.

Plus, why would you make a negative comment about someone’s food choices you barely know and is new?

Regardless of intention, OP was expecting their joke to land, it didn’t and they rather blame their colleague and say they have a lack of sense of humour then admit their joke simply fell flat and was actually unnecessary and rude to begin with.

Tbh no it wouldn't offend me, but being ND I would not have understood the 'joke' and stared blankly trying to think of a reply then sighed a breath of relief when you walked off lol. However my ex, also ND, would definitely have said this 'joke' and then been offended if no one understood it so maybe we're just two sides of the same coin.

I read this as she might be having the eggs daily “usually weekday lunch” - some people may fart more if they do that!
I would have laughed.

Is this another 'joke' that I don't get?

Think SDTG posted on the wrong thread. It happens now and then.

How old are you?

What does your HR department think about your jokey culture on your team ?

I wouldn’t be offended but I’d inwardly cringe at your ‘sense of humour’.

Can’t believe some of the other replies……yes it’s a bad joke, but come on!
I’d have responded, with a snigger, “it’s not usually that bad, but it’s the silent- but-deadly ones you have to look out for”
I’m pretty sure it would have cracked the ice a bit with a new employee, even if they didn’t really find it funny………some people are unbelievably anal…pun intended

Boiled eggs don't have that effect on me so I wouldn't have known what OP was talking about.

Probably just written her off as a bit of an unfunny loon and not thought any more of it.