To ask if my joke to new work colleague would have offended you?

[Abbeymum]

We are quite a small team and had a new staff member join this week. It’s a very friendly and jokey culture so we are always light heartedly ribbing each other.

Anyway - new colleague was eating a salad with two boiled eggs. We were chatting and she says that’s a usual weekday lunch for her. I replied that I bet she has stocked up on the air freshener for when she’s home.

Blank face…sense of humour failure on her part?

I give up…nothing more to say….other than best of luck in your jobs.

You sound like someone I worked with

He told the most annoying jokes and thought he was hilarious. We all hated it but sometimes laughed politely other times just stared at him in utter disbelief. He just couldn’t understand that he was the only one making these stupid unfunny awkward jokes.

Not funny

You're a good egg

Making jokes about the food that someone you don't know is eating is very dangerous imho.
I had an eating disorder as a teenager, and it took years for me to be able to eat in front of other people.
Honestly 20+ years down the line and I know it still wouldn't take a lot to stop me eating at work which could very quickly snowball!

Your ND/ness is showing just that little too much, time to reign it in.

If you can’t imagine anyone viewing the world differently to you ‘and your gang at work’ then you may need it being spelt out that in your attempt to be connecting through humour you pushed that person away with what may be perceived as bullying.

As that wasn’t your intention, time to figure out a meaningful and genuine apology.

I would find this really mean. What a horrible thing to say. Were you trying to embarrass her? She won't know yours or your colleagues sense of humour so could have seen this as bullying, especially if it was Infront of your colleagues to make them laugh at her.

I bet the workmate has long forgotten this comment.

That’s nice….

I’ve never heard of eggs being associated with farting, so I would probably have looked at you a bit blankly for a moment too, while I tried to work out the joke.

The art of getting along with people involves being easy-going, not making mountains out of molehills. She didn’t get your joke. It doesn’t make her a bad person. A moment’s blank look isn’t a basis on which to judge someone or set the tone for a relationship. You need to build up a lot more moments than that before you decide if you like someone or not, or if they have a good sense of humour.

Equally, your joke may have made her feel uncomfortable once she worked out what it meant. The first thing you said to her on her first day in her new job may have made her subconsciously feel that she was perceived as surrounded by an eggy pong. Maybe she might take offence at that but hopefully she didn’t. Hopefully she won’t make a mountain out of a molehill. You intent was good. Hopefully over time she’ll come to realise that.

Someone on here suggested that you’re embarrassed your joke fell flat. That sounds very plausible. Don’t let that embarrassment make you bitter and ruin a new relationship that can probably be perfectly good.

Personally I think fart jokes are pretty low grade when it comes to humour - there are a LOT of funnier things out there. But I wouldn’t hold it against you. It’s nice that you want to have fun with your workmates. But if you insist that everyone has to have fun in only that way you prescribe, that stops being fun and becomes bullying. Accept people for who they are and learn to appreciate them.

Eggs aren't something I would make the connection that I'd somehow make my home stink several hours later and need air freshener for.

You don't seem to understand that you haven't told a joke, you just said something that was funny in your head but made you look quite rude and probably a bit stupid by saying it out loud.

Toilet humour I find really tragic. From our 5yos I can just about tolerate "poo" and "fart" being funny, but it's discouraged because it's just really low level intelligence humour that isn't a good look to develop. From adults, I would wonder what's wrong with them to still be making jokes about farts.

Brilliant post @Minglingpringle

Perhaps the OP meant that the new lady's house will smell of eggs if it's a regular weekday lunch that she prepares. That makes more sense.

It's still a crass, judgemental thing to say...even in jest. Your lunch is smelly/you are smelly/your house is smelly.

I'd have been thinking, hmm...this woman is going to insult me and then expect me to laugh along. Noted. I'll have to watch this one.

The world is divided into people who find farts funny and people who have a good sense of humour.

You are in camp 1.

If so I had better stop eating boiled eggs for breakfast!

Exactly this. And I get the distinct impression ops response to that would be to assert that the butt of her joke must "have no sense of humour" or be "too sensitive" or any of the hundred other gaslighting phrases used to avoid accountability that usually get thrown up in these situations.

I like teasing if it’s quick and clever. Toilet humour and innuendos are just too obvious for and like others have said, it’s 12 year old boy humour. If I was new I would have just done an awkward polite laugh and internally rolled my eyes.

But not everyone is like OP, thank God. I work with lovely people who are friendly but professional. We like a joke and a laugh. But we also are able to "read the room". I'd miss them if I worked in total isolation

Not to mention the new colleague feeling uncomfortable if it was in earshot of others

I guess she might have thought you were referencing the air freshener being needed for when she cooked them… or thought it was a dig because - let’s face it, hard boiled eggs STINK more when eating them than once digested… I find it a very odd thing to eat in a setting like an office…

Some people (as mumsnet proves) don’t have a sense of humour.. I’d have chuckled if that was said to me… It’s not hilarious but I’d have assumed you were trying to lighten the atmosphere/break the ice if I was new.
I’d say leave the jokes aimed at them for a while, let them settle and get used to the fact that everyone in your work place likes a bit of banter.

Nah, fine to eat as part of a balanced diet. Has minimal effect on blood cholesterol

I couldn't resist showing off my lunch. Yum

I bet you've....no I better not 🤣

I bet she's...

used that old Mumsnet staple...