Boyfriend cheating

[Berties]

I'm posting in here for traffic, and I have few people to tell in real life.

I've found out today my boyfriend of 6 years has been using prostitutes for the past 4ish months or so he says. 1 encounter with one of the women has resulted in a termination.

He's also been taking one of these women out for dates, we have been struggling financially and he's been doing this.

Obviously it's over there is too many lies deceit questions.

I feel like this isn't happening to me, like I'm numb to emotions. I want to cry but there's nothing there.

I don't know what the next steps are, we joint own our home me 99% and him 1% so I need to resolve this. How to I tell my teenage children who adore him. I have so many things in my mind I can't focus on the next steps.

If the house in both your names you both jointly own it wouldn't you? One would have to buy the other out or sell it

Well, in a way you’re in a Good Place because you know it is 100% OVER.

And these women being sex workers? Bull. But it’s bedsides fhe point.

And your kids won’t give a jot when they hear about his amazing life choices.

It was originally my home out right I wanted to give him security so added him to the deeds like an idiot. It was split 99-1 due to him not wanting to screw me over 🤦‍♀️. We have it all legally documented luckily

he actually thought I could look past, I don't think I'm getting the full picture of how he's met them but this is the story he's going with, I feel like such an idiot it was happening right underneath my nose

So he owns 1%? Buy him out. Get him to fuck off and pay him in mixed 2p and 1p coins.

Sex workers don’t get pregnant with clients unless he’s visiting the grottiest STD ridden den of trafficking and even if they did, they wouldn’t tell the client that they had a termination, how would they even know who the father was? Think this through. He’s telling you they are sex workers to make you think there’s no connection but he’s actually two timing you.

All I can say is that all of this is about his piss poor ego and needing a boost somewhere and then having to pay for it. It is no reflection on you whatsoever.

He says he was meeting her in an under pass near our home, I really dont know the man that's been living in my house. I'm struggling to believe what he's saying because it just not making sense.

I think I need these harsh opinions because my not thinking correctly

I think that's what's bothers me more he's actually gone out and paid these women, I've been working more to up our income and he's been spending it on god knows who.

it makes me feel so unworthy like why wasn't I enough

At least I know where his money will go once he gets it 🤦‍♀️. I just can't get over him behaving in this way. We are mortgage free due to a family bereavement we were in a good place housing wise. Cash poor asset rich. I think I'll probably only owe him around £2500 max

Wait for him to start playing the 'sex addict' card. He couldn't help it. Don't fall for it.

Book yourself in for a full health check. Put the 2,500 on an interest free credit card, make him sign that it's a full and final settlement and show him the door.

Depending on what end of the teenage span your kids are I would say 'He's been cheating with other women and I won't tolerate that'. It's the truth.

Good luck OP

I'm going to book a solicitor appointment Monday, to see what I need to do I want to make sure im covered.

i think my local nhs sex health clinic send kits out so ill have to get one ordered.

teenage span 11, 14, 15 it's the 11 year old that will be the most upset her dad isn't great so she truly loves him

Unworthy, you’re more worthy than that piece of garbage will ever be. There’s nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with him. He’s sick and depraved and disgusting and iy
ts nothing that you deserve. You’ve married a damaged man. I did to. It has nothing to do with your worth because you’re worth everything. Get help with your finances and mental health.nim so sorry this has happened to you. Get a lawyer and if your close with your family please get them behind you now

I really don't know who I've been living with those pass few years, he's really pulled the wool over my eyes.

I've been making plans to better our future and he's been doing this behind my back.

apparently it's my fault he turned to prostitutes because I haven't shown him interest. When in actual fact I've severely damaged my knee which has restricted my mobility and doing normal couple things.

I even took up extra shifts at work to provide more financially turns out he used this time to meet prostitutes, so that back fired awfully on my part.

god I'm such an idiot

Of course he's blaming you, anything to avoid responsibility for his awful behaviour!
Only saving grace is you're not married or he would be entitled to half more than likely.
And of course it's over, but you need time to process the shock to.

Honestly I thought I had found out the worst of it little did I know. He's recently changed phones and the idiot has left the old one here so I've found all the messages phone calls even one of a pregnant girl producing a sex video and we know her, she even asks to make sure I won't find the videos.

he is scum

OP you should skip the STD kit and see about a full workup by a professional clinical care provider because you'll need to do follow up after a certain period of time as HIV antibodies is 1-3 months. You'll need to collect all of your financial documentation between you both, change your locks on your flat, and also make sure you can change all of your legal beneficiary information, as well as any potential guardianship that he may be listed on you or your children's documents. Best of luck to you and do not forget you are not alone.

I did research it and realized that if you were to receive a STI, you can sue him for recklessly infecting you and you do have the documentation. Hopefully that is a bridge you do not have to cross, but you have to explore all avenues since he was rash with your health.

You are not an idiot.

He's just another inadequate, dishonest piece of shit. There are a lot of them out there. It does not reflect of you.

Tell him to leave, today. Go to a solicitor to get the 1% on the house resolved. Get that ball rolling.

Think carefully about what you tell your dcs. Teenagers are very impressionable so I think just saying he has found himself another girlfriend is as far as you need to go.

Sex workers see multiple men,the termination doesn't ring true and if it was she's doing unprotected with others.
Health check definitely.
It may not be a sex worker that had the termination not that would make this sorry situation any better.
Sorry he's brought this to your door.

Op, you are in no way “unworthy”. Have you been shagging random strangers in an underpass? 🤮 Or shagging other men when your partner has been at work, doing overtime, trying to support the family? No, you have not, you’ve done NOTHING wrong.

It is in no way your fault that this revolting, sleezy, turd has been choosing to stick it wherever he can, that is on him. He’s just yet another sad, entitled twat, who behaves appallingly but cannot face who he really is (which is a cheat and a liar) so blames you. He thought you could “over look it”. How you didn’t piss yourself laughing, or clonk him on the head, I’ll never know. You are a better woman than me!

But, you are in a strong financial position. As PP said, get the money you owe him in 2ps, put his shit in bin liners and dump it on the drive. He can fuck right off with immediate effect. Ditch him and don’t ever look back.

ODFOD. Have you never been betrayed? Never had the wool pulled over your eyes? Never found out that someone isn’t who you thought, at all? The blaming of op, either by her shitty soon to be ex, or you, is what’s pathetic,

No,no,no. Red flag should have been- that looser moving in with her. No MAN would ever move in with a woman but instead provide a home to a woman.

Shagging under an underpass ? 🤮