Boyfriend cheating

[Berties]

I'm posting in here for traffic, and I have few people to tell in real life.

I've found out today my boyfriend of 6 years has been using prostitutes for the past 4ish months or so he says. 1 encounter with one of the women has resulted in a termination.

He's also been taking one of these women out for dates, we have been struggling financially and he's been doing this.

Obviously it's over there is too many lies deceit questions.

I feel like this isn't happening to me, like I'm numb to emotions. I want to cry but there's nothing there.

I don't know what the next steps are, we joint own our home me 99% and him 1% so I need to resolve this. How to I tell my teenage children who adore him. I have so many things in my mind I can't focus on the next steps.

I hate to break it to you, but it’s not 1964. Women are quite capable of housing themselves, they don’t need a man to provide it, I certainly don’t. And there could be many genuine reasons why this man ended up living in ops house.

Do you really need to ask if YABU?!

Kick him out, then get yourself into therapy to understand why your standards are on the floor.

Get back under your bridge.

What a scumbag. So sorry OP.

He is scum.
Never part with any part of your childrens home.
Such a foolish thing to do.
Ask him to sign it back over to you and spare you this grief.
Your children deserve better than you trying to make a man feel better with equity in their home.

That is so shocking. And an underpass! He couldn't be any more seedy if he tried. Please don't ever let a man have any part of your home again. I'm not sure why you gave him one percent. It doesn't make any sense to me but in future don't let anybody have anything like that from you.

Yes

This is disgusting there is no going past this, surely don’t be a Colleen! There is no way you could trust him again.
you need to let yourself GRIEVE the relationship and man you thought you had. There is something really wrong in the head and heart with him.
with your teens - unless you think he is a danger to them, you can allow them to stay friends with him in their own free time if they like. Especially if he’s been a father figure for a very long time.
sort out him signing over his 1% to you immediately while he’s feeling guilty. Buy it off him if you have to but hopefully he’ll just give it to you.

It’s not your fault, and the fact he’s tried to blame you rather than hanging his head in shame, when he’s cheated, and put your health at risk, is even more evidence that he is such a bad bad person. It’s better to be single forever than have an enemy like this sleeping in your bed op.

get a full std check from the gum clinic including hiv testing.

You are so so sensible and lucky that you didn’t marry him, so he won’t have more claim to your home.

The man is scum you need to get a full check for your sake and don't ever think you are the wrong the man
Cheated any man that cheats doesn't deserve to be forgiven change the locks and get the 1% of the house back

I’m so sorry, you must be reeling from the shock of it all. Just throw him straight out and look into the legality of buying him out.

I cant say this loud enough.

Whatever it costs you to get of him is a FUCKING BARGAIN

So before I came to work he came and collected his belongings i managed to pack most of it, so hopefully he won't have to come back.

ive found my transfer of deeds and I'm basically protected until my youngest child is 18 or finished higher education.

I will be instructing a solicitor Monday to see how to remove him.

I will also be getting a full STI check.

He has told people it was my fault so had all the sympathy until I told his close friends what he did

I'd be calculating how much of the money I earned, he'd spent on prostitutes and removing that from his 1% equity.

And then give him the lot in 1ps. Ideally, stuffed up his arse but that'd mean getting closer to him than you probably want...

Well done on shining a light on his sleazy creeping about.
Hope you get a clean bill of health.

I think he's used all his equity up. On 2 girls he's spent £1060 plus the other one. And the ones I don't know about.

he's been so sly whilst I've been at work on a late shift he's been out doing that and back in bed before I'm even home.

i never suspected a thing

Sounds like you’re getting your head together. Stay strong.

Hope you are doing okay OP x

I'm think I'm in some what of a state of shock, from it all' I've barely slept eaten nothing. I think when my children come home it will hit me.

this is the 1st night I'm going home from work to a completely empty home. And I'm dreading it'

I think I'm having a wobble I keep thinking what if. What if I hadn't seen that message what if I hadn't kicked him out what if I took him back. We had a plan to provide for our future and that's gone so it feel very what if at the minute

It's a good thing you've seen those messages he doesn't give two fucks about you as he's put your health at risk plus the betrayal.
You couldn't trust a word he says and you'd be wondering what he was up to if any unexplained absences arose.
You deserve better.. stay strong op.

Accepting he doesn't care is a bitter pill to swallow, because I cared. I tried to be more financially helpful to take the pressure off of him and he's used my absence to cheat spending money I might as well not bothered earning.

even now my dumb brain is hoping he's ok. Like I can't switch of the caring part I don't hate him nor do a love him I'm indifferent to him.

To the people asking why I gave him 1% when he arrived in the home i was a struggling single mum he put a new kitchen in replaced doors landscaped the gardens. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time because I thought we had a future. He only ever had 1% due to not having a will in place so this amount felt affordable for me to lose

now it was possibly the biggest massive I've made

You're coming across as a caring person and you are wasted on him.
None of this is your doing not could you envisage any of this.your far from dumb.
Time for me to sign off tonight hopefully you can get some sleep.👍