To think this is inappropriate in anyone’s language?

[mrlistersgelfbride]

Still thinking about an encounter yesterday at work.

Me , waiting for the person in front of me to use a machine, a couple of people stood in earshot. I was standing and probably slouching a little. I’m a size 12 ish, bit of a belly as I sometimes eat and drink more than I should but nothing you’d look twice at.

My supervisor (female) : “So tell me , is there something in there (points to my stomach)?”

Me: ”No”

“Are you pregnant?”

“No I am not” (because I am not , 100% sure)

“Come on, are you sure?”

“I’m not pregnant”

“Are you pregnant?”

“No. It must be these trousers and I’ve got a belly”

“Oh my mistake, it looks like it”

WTAF!
😳 I’m not someone who gets offended at the drop of a hat but this is not ok , is it?
English isn’t her first language but come on!
I had to laugh it off as I was working with her for the rest of the day but I wasn’t impressed.
Colleagues were in earshot and were overly nice to me after as they didn’t know where to put themselves.

YABU- It’s ok to ask, or language barrier reasons make this acceptable
YANBU- Not acceptable

A good rule is unless you see it emerging from her body or she tells you herself, never, ever comment upon whether a woman is pregnant or not.

Absolutely. I could not agree more. I would never ask.

If it happens again, just politely say that the status of my womb is none of your business.

Will do, I just can’t believe someone would be that tone deaf. I am not sold on the job anyways (still relatively new) and this has not helped matters.

She knew exactly what she was saying and is a nasty cow. If she comments again I would complain to HR or your manager that she is harassing you.

She was rude and insensitive.
Firstly, it’s none of her business, you will share that sort of information when you want to.
Secondly, what if you were facing infertility or something, that could have really upset you even more.
That’s my opinion anyway, I think people should just keep their mouth shut and not comment on other peoples bodies.

Absolutely no way is this acceptable. Report it. She’s a bully.

1. She was clearly being a nasty bitch
2. Even of you WERE pregnant, it’s got absolutely NOTHING to do with her until you choose to share that.

Best case - she’s brought to task and doesn’t continue to overstep.

Worst case - she’s naive and gets an important lesson from HR on appropriate behaviour.

Is she Dutch?

Gosh! Dreadful behaviour!

No but not far away

It’s very normal in some cultures to be so direct in ways we would consider rude

but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be offended

Polish ?

my polish friends are extremely direct and it’s taken some time to understand that we often tell blatant lies and consider this socially polite 😆

Well either she was being deliberately rude or she genuinely thought you were pregnant and probably thought asking you was being nice.

My bestie is autistic and would probably say something like that and not understand that some people would be offended.

Sounds like a genuine mistake to be fair. At your own admission you have a belly so someone just mistook that for pregnancy.

Nope. My granddad was Polish. He used to call me ‘fatty’ as a child. Not sure what I’d prefer 😆🙊

Yeah I know but I have seen people I know who have bellies but something stops me from asking them?! It’s just mortifying if you get it wrong. I’d never ask!

I’ve not eaten as much as usual since this and I’m trying to reduce my belly … I do wish she would have kept her mouth shut.

Most surely you're not being unreasonable
She's immensely rude & I've met /come across numerous belittling females like this in my time too
Bet you don't even look slightly pregnant & even if you did, (which I severely doubt) it's none of her business
My guess is she's envious of you for some reason, maybe you're extremely attractive & she's just trying to inadvertently put you down
💚God bless you 🙏

😬

my Asian aunts tell with with utter glee on their faces I have put on weight and ‘getting a bit fat girl’ my dad has said similar sweet comments too 😆

If she thought she was being nice she would have accepted the first time op said she wasn't. She was a nasty cow and needs telling it's not acceptable.

ah! German boss

Yes completely concur with you 💚🙏

Solid advice. Years ago workmate of mine asked a lady with a very large stomach, when was the baby due?
Face like thunder, the woman retorted "I am NOT pregnant"
My poor friend was scarlet with embarrassment and I'm (not) ashamed to say I went into the back and collapsed in a heap of laughter.....

Still no!

That’s very kind. I’m not but I appreciate the sentiment 💐

Oh god I hate it I’d refuse to see them 🤣 or want to say “You are getting a bit old now” as a retort…

Absolutely not acceptable. It’s one thing to have asked once, but to continue asking “are you sure?” etc once you have said no is disgraceful.